Citation: MS. "Existing As Pure Thought: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (5x extract) (exp23463)". Erowid.org. Sep 26, 2006. erowid.org/exp/23463
Disclaimer: The experience below is without a shadow of a doubt the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Unfortunately, every human language is by far too poor to describe it, as it exists in my mind. Only those who have experienced similar things can try to understand it.
My friends and I have been smoking salvia for the past several months, taking long breaks after each trip. My latest experience took place at my friend’s house and included 3 of my friends and I. We divided a 1-gram bottle of salvia 5x extract into 8 equal doses, so that instead of having 10 standard doses, we’ll have 8 strong ones (according to my research). All the lights were off and each put the music of his choice when it was his turn to smoke. We decided that only two people would be in the room at the same time, not only for the purpose of always having a “sitter” present, but also to keep the room as quiet as possible during the trips.
My background music was ‘Liquid Tension Experiment’, an instrumental progressive rock band, whose slow songs are perfect for salvia trips. I put my entire dose in one bowl, inhaled deep and kept the smokes in my lungs for as long as could. Barely able to move, I forced myself to take the second and last hit, laughed like crazy for a few seconds and then lay on the bed.
Sally hits me like a truck. 10 seconds hadn’t passed before I was sucked into an alternative reality. I felt as though I entered a new and much more incredible version of Walt Disney’s ‘Fantasia’. I was surrounded with hundreds of creatures from dozens of species, which resembled each other only by their green-yellow colors. The creatures flew over and around me, creating an astonishing visual display; dances that no choreograph can imitate, images that no computer or human could ever create. The sounds of their flight and their brushing against each other added a strong auditory effect.
Hundreds of voices spoke in unison, called me to join them. I felt confused and told them that I cannot move like them, fly like that in the air. I felt unwieldy and ungainly compared to the creatures that moved around me in such charm and jauntiness. The last thing I heard before I joined the wave of creatures, which had already grown from several hundreds to several hundreds of thousands, was that I could do anything, if I only want it hard enough. Even though I haven’t done any special attempt to join the wave, at a certain point I realized that I was already in it, uncontrollably carried towards an unknown destination.
For hours I was surrounded from every direction and as far I could see by those creatures. I often wondered as to where I was being carried. After a while, everything stopped moving; the flow of images and sounds had disappeared and was replaced with clear white scenery. The only thing in the endless white was a small dot of light. As I came closer to the light, I began to notice some sort of character in it. It had the general features of a tall, thin woman, whose long dress (perhaps a wedding dress) surrounded her in a diameter of a few meters. I was possessed by a strong urge to reach her, which caused me to advance forward despite her strong blinding light.
At a certain point I could advance no more. I felt as though an invisible barrier had been put in front of me, and that the only way I could pass through it is by receiving the luminous character’s approval. After a long waiting, she let me in. To both my surprise and amazement, when I took a step forward, the light faded and an overwhelming place was revealed to me. If heaven exists – I now know what it looks like. Every verbal or written description can only diminish from the perfection and splendor of what I saw, so I won’t go into details. Basically, it wasn’t very different from the classic image of heaven, except for the fact that everything – the grass, the trees, the flowers and even the earth and the sky – was alive, breathing.
So far, I was still me in every possible aspect: I had a physical body, I responded to stimulations from the environment, I could see, smell and speak etc. At that point I felt that something was beginning to change, both physically and mentally. Communication with the woman (I repeatedly asked questions about my whereabouts) stopped being verbal – every question I asked and every answer I was given, all were done telepathically. I *knew* that I was going through some sort of change, but I didn’t know what it was. Every second I felt that another part of my being had been taken away from me – beginning with my physical body and then, gradually, all five senses. I was going in tremendous speed towards something unknown.
When the process was complete, I realized what had happened to me. I felt that I got a chance to be, perhaps just for short while, at the peak of the world. I got a peek at what people aspire their entire lives to reach – true spiritual enlightenment. I know it sounds like a worn out cliché, but that is what I honestly and truly felt.
All I can do is think, all my essence and existence are thought. Earthly needs such as food, water and sex no longer exist; all five senses no longer function, and I no longer need them; I am no longer restricted by my brain and body’s abilities and inabilities. I am now at the purest and simplest, yet also most liberated, form of existence. This utter simplicity is what grants me such bliss, such variety of possibilities and above all – absolute freedom of mind, and in fact, freedom in the truest meaning there is.
My entire world is my thoughts. Many things I have known in the past are neither needed, nor existent in my new reality. Memory, for instance, is no more than a myth to me: all my recollections are spread in front of me, waiting for me to merely squint in their direction in order to fully relive them. Biological processes and psychological barriers do not even slightly restrict me.
I even had access to pre-natal memories, which I experienced shortly for lack of interest (as fascinating as it may seem now, at the time I had no special desire to explore such memories). What I remember from those memories is the feeling of being attached to the wall of the universe, accompanied by feelings of confidence and of indecisiveness about the perception of “self” – almost complete loss of ego.
My sense of time is completely distorted. As a matter of fact, as I see it – time is now relative to the speed of my thought. The first thing that comes to mind is the analogy to “dog years” vs. “human years”. My current time is not at all like the time in my normal everyday reality – the difference is extreme. It is as if my default “movement” (and I do hope I’m being understood) is now done at the speed of thought, a speed much greater than the speeds of sound and of light multiplied by each other. Two minutes in my present condition are equivalent to several months in our everyday reality. In addition, it is possible that the drastic distortion in my sense of time is at least partially the result of the role it’s playing in my life. I have practically no needs that are either influenced by time, or depend on it, thus making it marginal to me.
I felt I had been in that amazing journey of self-exploration and of endless possibilities for several months. I believe that only people who had experienced strong salvia trips could even accept the fact that such a thing is even possible. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to live for such a long time in a utopia within my own mind, and for that I thank Sally from the bottom of my heart.
I have been thinking a lot about this trip, analyzing it and trying to get to a few conclusions: I realized that the “heaven” I visited symbolized perfection, something everyone aspire to reach in one way or another. This place is not a reward one may receive after death; it has nothing to do with God or with the ‘after life’; this place is our own mind, when it reaches a state of mental and spiritual transcendence. This is an ideal state of complete liberation of mind and spirit.
This trip had extremely influenced me. Thanks to it, I feel that I had reached a true insight about life. I know that I am not the first to say it, but now I can say that I TRULY understand it – from the most complete simplicity comes the greatest bliss. I don’t believe that I would ever come close to this kind of simplicity in real life, but I hope that this experience would drive me to try and do so in the future.
P.S, English is not my native language. I hope there aren’t too many grammatical mistakes in the text, and that you enjoyed reading about my S.D trip.
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