Citation: The Reverend. "Interpretations of Your Mind: An Experience with Psilocybin & DMT (exp23350)". Erowid.org. Apr 29, 2003. erowid.org/exp/23350
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Psilocybin and DMT: Interpretations of Your Mind
Let me begin by briefly (or not so briefly) stating my history with drugs.
As I write this, I am 19 years old. My first experience with any drug was with marijuana. I had never even been drunk before my first time smoking herb. I was a junior in high school, at the age of 17, and played drums in a local band. Many of my friends smoked marijuana but had never asked me if I would like to join them and had never even smoked in my presence. I suppose I must have exuded an air of disapproval even though I actually had no opinion on pot whatsoever. My entire inspiration for trying the drug was the possibility that it may enhance or elicit some undiscovered, latent creativity within my brain. Although I enjoyed the experience and have continued to smoke regularly since then, I did not find the substance to explicitly inspire me in any creative way (unlike DMT). However, I believe my long-term marijuana use, (and all its implications which I will not list here), has changed my attitude towards life for the better.
I am naturally skeptical about everything and so through my experience alone I formed the opinion that not all illegal drugs are bad (contrary to the message behind the US government's propaganda efforts). After researching much about many different kinds of drugs, my friends and I became thoroughly interested in psychedelics in particular. These drugs were not addictive, and for the most part, when used responsibly and in moderation, were physiologically harmless. The mysteries presented and questions answered by them, the detailed reports of mystical and self-exploratory experiences people have had under their influence, the culture constructed around them, and the profound intellectualism exhibited by most serious members of its underground captivated me into exploring the psychedelic world firsthand.
Up until the point that I smoked DMT, (last weekend as of this writing), I had had extensive experiences with psilocybin. A recently acquired friend I had met on the campus of the university I attend informed me that many chocolates had been coming his way recently, and he wanted to know if I was interested. The chocolates I speak of were chocolates containing crushed mushrooms with psilocybin content. The exact classification of mushroom I am unaware of, although I was told each chocolate contained an eighth of an ounce of dried mushrooms, and after my experience with the chocolate in question I believe this information was correct as the experience I had was consistent with past trips that had verified psilocybin content.
I had bought two chocolates, one was for myself and the other was a gift for my most trusted ally in psychonautical excursions, my brother. As I would be home the next weekend from school, the plan was to eat them Saturday night, and preparations were underway.
The night finally came, and my curiosity as to whether the chocolates would actually work or not (you can never really know, although they did smell like mushrooms) was beginning to become overwhelming. At the appointed hour, we each ate our chocolate and sat back waiting for the journey to begin. Ten minutes later, however, I got a call from another friend within our circle who merely said, 'Hey, what do you think about visualizing geometry?' At once I knew he spoke of the availability of a psychedelic drug, and before the trip kicked in, my brother and I hastily drove to his location, another good friend's house that we frequent on a regular basis. The trip had not begun to take hold yet and the drive was literally about 2 or 3 minutes down the road so we knew we'd be ok.
Upon our arrival, we learned that DMT was on the way to our location via another good friend who had randomly procured around 2 grams. How exciting it was to hear that such an exotic psychedelic had fortuitously fallen into our laps! The friend who had contacted me had already put in an order for us because he knew that we would definitely want to augment our currently developing experience. I had wanted to try DMT since I had first read about its ability to produce powerful visions and an intense psychedelic experience. I honestly never thought, however, that I would ever have the chance to try it unless I journeyed to South America myself and trekked into the Amazon, begging any shaman I saw for a taste of his precious brew. Luckily this was not necessary though, and I acquired 50 milligrams for a mere and well-spent 15 bucks.
The DMT was a tiny pile of crystals that had a yellowish tinge to them. They were crushed, but not to the degree that would form powder. It would not be difficult and wouldn't take much time though at this stage, I surmised, to crush it down to a finer consistency that might enable the user to snort the drug (One of us actually did do this, although the intent was to make the drug even more smokable than it already was. Whether or not this was beneficial or not is subject to debate). Our plan was to smoke it, however, and I was satisfied with that, being a familiar ritual, and merely noted this observation to myself.
The DMT itself did not look like much. However, I knew that it did not take much to produce extremely powerful effects, as this chemical is quite potent. Introduce just 50 milligrams to your brain like I did, and I guarantee you may not be able to even finish the bowl, because it is likely that you may not be able to take another hit after the initial stages of the DMT experience incapacitate you.
The friend who had brought us the precious mind-candy told me that the best way to smoke it was to use a glass pipe and to smoke just enough herb to produce a bit of ash for the DMT to rest on inside the bowl. Then it was a simple matter of CAREFULLY transferring the crystals to the bowl and finally commencing the smoking. As I raised the pipe to my mouth, I was unaware of the profound and bizarre world that was about to envelop me?
I inhaled with true determination, trying to be as efficient as possible in imbibing the precious smoke. Its taste was nothing like the taste of herb; it was a little harsh (though nothing overwhelming for a chronic smoker) due to the plastic, synthetic nature of the smoke. The taste was not all that unpleasant, but not very enjoyable when contrasted with the familiar taste of good cannabis. I inhaled as much as possible, and held it in for around 10 seconds when, at that time, an immensely different mode of consciousness fully and completely enveloped me in such an acute and abrupt manner that it was as if I had been launched at light speed into an altogether alien dimension, complete with utter time distortion and, around 20 to 30 seconds later, incredibly ornate and detailed full-blown hallucinations. The visual world that engulfed me consisted of nothing less than the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. It was a wholly awesome world that was bizarre, beautiful, captivating, and infinitely intricate. The unifying characteristic behind all of the hallucinations seems to have been that they were all sharp, angular, geometric forms that stood in stark contrast to the organic and dream-like visions of a mushroom experience. Nothing within my visual field remained unchanged. The experience was not dreamy or slow, although significant time dilation did occur. Instead, the lucidity of the trip was altered in such a way that the consistency and flow of normal consciousness was completely transformed beyond recognition. I remember thinking at once that I would never be able to comprehend this experience completely after its effects had fully diminished.
The mushroom trip that had been gaining momentum was completely drowned out by that of the DMT. I had been experiencing that familiar old feeling that is characteristic of the initial stages of the mushroom trip immediately before smoking the DMT. This powerful mushroom feeling that I was so accustomed to was replaced by a new and infinitely more intense sensation within 10 or 15 seconds of smoking the first hit of DMT. The DMT consciousness is so dramatically different than that of any I had ever experienced, that it is difficult for me to elaborate on it in the manner that I would like to. If the mushrooms were still affecting me, I wouldn't have known it, probably thinking that the combined effect of the two was the total effect of DMT because I recognized no mushroom-like feelings until the DMT effects began to weaken. Whether or not the mushrooms potentiated my hallucinations I cannot say; because DMT visuals are widely regarded to be very intense, it is difficult to rate the intensity of my own visuals relative to those I have read or heard about that were unaffected by psilocybin. Also, this was the only time I had ever smoked DMT as of this writing, and so I am unable to compare this experience with an unadulterated DMT trip. What I can say, though, is that the visuals were unique to DMT because my mushroom visuals have never been of the same bizarre, alien, and geometric, angular nature.
The very first visual distortion I noticed was the smoke I exhaled from taking the first hit. It became cartoonish in nature, and lacked fine texture as the rush blurred my vision momentarily. Although the visuals had not hit me until now, at this point I was already mentally in the midst of a different universe. As I exhaled my cognitive self twisted and contorted so violently that it dissolved completely, and my body was no longer my own. My legs were not connected to me, nor were my arms or torso. In fact, I wasn't even sure where 'I' was in relation to the rest of my body. To try to understand this, imagine disjointed fragments of your bodily perception suspended in some unknown and uncharted dimension of reality.
Because my consciousness was so drastically altered at that point, I was at once confronted by a stunning realization that my ability to monitor my social functions such as body language or conversation was severely compromised. So I tried my best to remain stationary, act normal, and merely take in all the sights and sounds.
As the world came back into focus, it was as if I was within a Picasso painting. The wall directly across from me, being a two dimensional image on the page of a book, for instance, in a sober state of mind, immediately leaped out of the page into three dimensional existence. The wall gained depth by promptly becoming many walls, at least three, each having a slightly different distance from me, but all in the same position at the same time. What was even more startling about the wall, however, were the patterns that erupted within it. Thousands of uniform abstract shapes with sharp, elongated tentacles of sorts wove in and out and between each other in a fluid motion and with an almost rhythmic consistency. They all had a shade of wood grain from the influence of the wall?s color, however this was translated to the DMT world as a bright golden hue which, when perceived along with the previously described components of this hallucination, made the spectacle of a wall simply awe-inspiring to behold.
The next thing to mesmerize me was the very table that sat in front of me where the portions of DMT had been delegated to the respective parties and preparations had been made. The surface of the table assumed a vastly different form of hallucination, though it was still characteristic of the components comprising the world in which I was situated. As soon as I turned my gaze toward it, the table's surface picked up and compartmentalized into planar segments, each encompassing latticed 'highways' of flowing colors. It was like a bizarre pool of christmas lights, a dazzling, free flowing network of brightly colored gems. For some reason, I can remember noting to myself that after seeing this, I could somehow understand the motivation behind some of the visual themes in Mexican and Native American art better.
At this point, the earlier sensation of social apprehension mostly ceased to exist, (though I believe some of it stubbornly still remained). Because I was so enamored and absorbed into the world created by my own mind, it was as if all experience had become subjective to my brain, and thus when I later reflected on my sober experiences in life, I felt that I had perhaps gained further objectivity in their day to day scrutinization. This was an important aspect of the DMT experience for me, besides the obvious implications of creative inspiration. I realized that the world immediately constructed around me was not the result of some gateway into a hyper-realm that resided in a dimension of some higher order relative to own existence, as some psychedelically inclined authors have theorized in their eccentric explications of these experiences. Instead, I understood that this very world that surrounded me only existed within my own brain. The enormous differences between it and my normal perception of the world were brought about by none other than a massive widening of the creative floodgates within my mind, and the waters that had flowed forth had done so with such force, that my entire consciousness was enveloped entirely. I was immersed in the normally latent artistic ideals that had always resided in my mind.
I had already reached my peak, and was on my way down. At this point, I had the urge to explore a little outside before the DMT experience had ended. As I rose up, I surveyed the environment around me, and in visually assessing the whole inside of the barn at once I was amazed at the distinct, unifying character of the hallucinations that comprised my surroundings. Everything adhered to a central theme, what I perceive as the ultimate realization of artistic ideals that I mentally harbored. Now, this may contradict notions described earlier of the differences between the experiences of different psychedelics such as the 'dreaminess' of mushrooms and the 'sharpness' of acid trips. I do not believe these sort of characteristics of hallucinations are indicative of one's personal artistic ideals, as they evidently vary according to substance ingested. Rather, the specifics of one's artistic ideals can perhaps better be understood by an examination of one's psychedelic experiences that synthesizes the visual products of the various influences of different drugs. A psilocybin mushroom may present visual manifestations of your artistic ideals in a seemingly more 'earthy', spiritual, or organic matter, while acid/DMT may help you see these ideals through forms that are mentally influenced by your more critical, mathematical/logical tendencies.
As I walked out of the barn, I followed my friend who had ordered the DMT, the third explorer of the mind besides my brother and I. He briefly turned to me with a big smile on his face and I noticed that in each eye he had two intersecting pupils, like two new moons, one partially overlapping the other forming a seamless black shape. My brother, interestingly enough, described witnessing the same phenomena.
I looked into the sky and the stars were surrounded by a lens flare-like quality that was, of course, composed of a multitude of different bright colors. The quality I speak of, however, was perceived as if I had been looking through water, as if the lens I looked through was submerged, even though I was fairly positive no tears were in my eyes. When I look down upon the ground I saw the crabgrass around me as a vast jungle of sprouting clay figures. They formed a dense, fecund little garden, and, as odd as it seemed, I couldn't help but to think to myself how they seemed so edible - it was as if they were some sort of food, like I could take a big bite right out of one.
This is when the mushroom feeling began to come back to me and I could feel the DMT fading. But the mushrooms were nowhere near to fading, they came on strong and familiar old hallucinations took the places of the alien world I had briefly explored. The rest of the trip was spent mostly on talking with my brother about the implications of the DMT experience and how amazing it had been.
If you are an interested individual, with the psychological fortitude and confidence necessary, I highly encourage you to take any rare opportunity you may have to try this chemical! I would, however, like to emphasize the prerequisite of psychological fortitude, simply because of how quickly one is overcome by this drug. Literally, the trip reaches full peak in under 45 seconds! This can be potentially frightening for some individuals, but as long as you understand the basis of these feelings, and their inherent irrationality, one is able to successfully ignore them, vanquish them, and enjoy the trip. If it has not been made evident by this telling, I would most definitely try this drug again! Lots of fun, and no 'hangover'. It only lasts less than 10 minutes, unless potentiated by MAO inhibitors (do not take this for advice, I am no pharmaceutical expert/chemist! This information should probably be verified before being tested firsthand).
In light of all of this, one must remember to either have fun or learn something (or both!), and above all else, be SAFE when exploring your mind.
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