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Tripping On Death
Amanita pantherina
by Voxnihil418
Citation:   Voxnihil418. "Tripping On Death: An Experience with Amanita pantherina (exp23024)". Erowid.org. Apr 16, 2003. erowid.org/exp/23024

 
DOSE:
1 cap oral Amanitas - A. pantherina
    oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine
    insufflated Cocaine

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


After reading a trip report relating to the Amanita Pantherina I have decided to relate my own experience with this nightmare shroom...

1994, Seattle, Wa... I ate the shroom just as I got off of work and began walking home... Arriving at the rooming house I was living in at the time... I went down to my friends basement apartment and drank a a couple beers and had a couple of lines of coke with my friend and this other guy... Everything began to spin, faster and faster... I stumbled out into the basement area and vomited in the laundry sink... I was assisted to my room, everything kept spinning faster and faster until it seemed to cease spinning at all... At this point my normal conciousness ceased... I was floating in blackness, without a body... I was concious only of a ball of white light apperently in front of me... I existed in this condition for what seemed to be eternity...

During this period (theres really no way to describe this) I was merely concious of this white light, I could not remember being human, my name, or anything... I was only percieving, floating, in a void... the light, i believe or rather in some strange way felt, was the entire universe and the combination of all of the sounds or rather the combination of all of the vibrations of the entire universe made this harmonic hum... Though I am not really sure how i heard it, as I said, i was not concious of having a body or ears or eyes... after what seemed to be an entire life cycle of the universe I began to remember what had occurred... I remember thinking... 'OH SH@#!!! IM DEAD!!!'... I remembered eating the mushroom... I remember thinking, 'Ill never see my friends and family again!!!'

I remember wondering if I were really dead, and again why i was completely alone... I was never aware of any thing other than myself and the light... and then, gradually in an inexplicable proccess i began to perceive and 're-enter' my body... with the sensation of coming from beneath in darkness as if my body were a shell that concealed a bottomless darkness... struggling climbing back into it... i remember at this point of 'in-betweeness' of perceiving the 'insides' of objects at the same time as the out side (surface)... the substance of the objects seemed to be darkness, or hollow, with a skin of reality on the outside...

Really there is no way to communicate the experience... it changed my life and has cast a major shadow over the years following... i wouldnt recommend this experience to anyone... It was by far the most intense experience of my life to date... tripping on death... part of myself died on that trip... even more horrifying than two boxes of coricidinHBP... More nasty than a whole box of dramamine... And guess what... the shroom was picked right on the UW campus... just across the street from the medical center...

Exp Year: 1994ExpID: 23024
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Apr 16, 2003Views: 35,016
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Amanitas - A. pantherina (71) : Alone (16), Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2)

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