Citation: W0lf. "Gone Psycho: An Experience with Alcohol (exp22555)". Erowid.org. Nov 29, 2006. erowid.org/exp/22555
It all happened the night of a university drinking contest. Before I left for the contest I already found myself to be enraged for some reason, but I didn't pay much attention to it and thought : 'well lets just get hammered again and forget everything'
So I set of to the pub and started the contest, I think I had about 15 beers in 3 hours (could have been more). After that we went to a party where I drank some more...and from then on my memory is shattered.
So most of what I write now is what people told me afterwards.
It was a party organized by some international student association and apparently I met some foreign students. Those guys had some kind of strong alcohol with them (80%). I donít know if I drank some of it, but I suppose I did. Next thing I remember I'm in my own car with one of those lads driving it !!!! Why? I really really donít know ! Everything went blank from then on and the next thing I know I wake up in a police station.
So what happened that night? Apparently we drove to where those foreigners resided for a week, and for some reason I must have REALY flipped out in that building. I tried to bust in a door leading to some sort of television room, it didn't work though so I broke the glass in that door and crawled through it, injuring my hand. Once inside I managed to yank a large wooden board from the wall and smashed the window leading outside with it.
At that time some guys who where staying there heard all the commotion and found me there, in a frenzy of anger and despair and the entire room smeared with blood ! They managed to get me to the parking lot and tried to calm me down, cause I was in a SUICIDAL state. They didn't succeed however and had to call the cops (the guys who tried to call me were military for crying out loud !).
I can tell you, waking up in jail and hearing that story is not at all funny ! The cops said that witnesses had explained to them that I was running round like a psycho trying to kill myself.
This experience of course opened my eyes, I indeed had a SERIOUS problem that needed professional care.
Later my dad explained to me that my family had a history of alcohol abuse and suicide, which explains a lot since Iíve been having psychological problems my whole life.
After that experience I stopped drinking alcohol for 3 months and stopped smoking weed for a week ( I hadn't even had weed that awful night !!!!!), the reason I did stop smoking for a week is that I wanted to grant myself 'a moment of clarity' since I've been smoking every day for 3 years...and wanted to pin point the exact problem in a sober manner before I went into therapy.
Therapy indeed seemed to be the sanest solution, I donít wanna walk around like a walking time bomb waiting to kill someone else or myself...
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