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Struggling Not to Panic
Toad Venom
by Tim
Citation:   Tim. "Struggling Not to Panic: An Experience with Toad Venom (exp2173)". Erowid.org. Jun 26, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2173

 
DOSE:
1 hit smoked Toad Venom (dried)


I just wanted to sit down and describe some of what happened on my first experience with the Toad. I fasted from dinner Thursday night until seven Friday night, dosed my body with vitamin C, E, B's, etc., and settled my mind, and relaxed in my room with a little Floyd playing. I nixed the outdoor setting as I wanted a place where I was very comfortable mentally and physically; someplace familiar. I placed what looked like a good amount in my special pipe, then added a few small granules more. Using a small propane torch with a small soft flame I heated the end of the tube until the granules began to blacken, bubble, and smoke. Inhaling slowly produced a dense gray smoke curling up the tube, that rapidly filled my lungs with a massive, smoke coming out of my nose_type_hit. A real, real big hit. A hit like I was doing a one hit of pot.

As soon as I finished inhaling I knew it was a big dose. The visuals came on even before I could finish exhaling ten heartbeats later, and I only had time to shut off the torch and put down the pipe before the world dissolved and I lost complete and total touch with reality. It was the fastest, hardest trip I have ever had. The initial thirty seconds were overwhelming, indescribable, and somewhat terrifying. I struggled to hold my shit together and relax... not to panic... but the initial rush was to like riding a roller coaster. You know intellectually that roller coasters are safe, but as you plunge downward from the precipice, thoughts of death steal in and shove your heart into your throat. As you gain speed, you are forced to realize that there is no way out. You are committed. There is no way to undo what you have just done. The only path is to ride it out. But the fucker just keeps gaining speed, and for an eternity of split seconds, frozen in time, you say HOLY SHIT, and you are positive that you can not go, or stand it any faster... but it goes, and goes, and goes, raging forward with you belted to its back by puny straps, your sanity pushing its way up out of your pocket like a wallet. You hope to God you don't lose it but there is no way you can let to now to stuff it back. Only after, can you laugh about it and gain some sense of exhilaration at your seeming brush with destruction. If it sounds like I did not gain anything positive from the experience that is absolutely not true at all. It is just that it was so intense!

Exp Year: ExpID: 2173
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 26, 2000Views: 38,125
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Toad Venom (46) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)

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