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Feeling Truly Alive
Methamphetamine
by DopeHat
Citation:   DopeHat. "Feeling Truly Alive: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp21061)". Erowid.org. Nov 27, 2005. erowid.org/exp/21061

 
DOSE:
  repeated insufflated Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)
    repeated smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


I have had an on/off relationship with meth over the past couple of years. I love the stuff, but then I hate it. I was working full time at a burger joint and a friend I worked with had always hooked me up with weed, then eventually he started asking me if I wanted coke. So I had been doing weed regularly and coke on occasion. One fairly uneventful day, I was home and he calls me, saying a bunch of really good, pure crystal had come into town and if I wanted some. Like most people, I had heard all the horror stories about meth. I always justified my coke use with the notion that it was more natural, and meth was totally synthetic and dirty. But my friend got me a really good deal, so I figured I might as well.

After losing about a hundred bucks for a little packet of powder, I just kind of saved it for awhile. I'd take it out, look at it, think for awhile, get nervous, and stash it away. Eventually, I had a couple days off from work. It was really nice out, and I was bored as hell, so I took out the little packet. Opened it up and carved a moderate line on my trusty autographed picture of Mick from Slipknot, which I had in a frame and always snorted off of. The line looked a little meager, so I added a bit more to it. It was probably around 2 inches long.

Now I was pretty experienced with coke, which is nice and smooth, so I didn't think too much of it when I took an old dollar from my dresser, rolled it up and took the whole thing up my nostril in one quick snort. I think the next few minutes I spent holding my nose shut, running around my room wildly screaming and laughing with tears coming down my eyes. Once the burn wore off, I immediately felt it. And I eventually learned to love the burn, as I would say to other meth virgins, 'The more it burns the better it works!'.

I immediately felt myself start to speed up. A smile appeared on my face and I felt just so alive. It was a lot stronger than any coke I had done before, and I didn't do as much as I would have with coke. I felt so full of energy and vitality. I was the only person home, that fact quickly hit me, so I quickly grabbed my keys, wrapped up what was left of the powder, and headed out the door.

The day was great. I just loved being outside. I got in my car and blasted music with all the windows down, just loving it. I was just loving every moment of it. I'm also quite a heavy smoker anyway, and I found that I chain smoke hardcore while on meth. Back to back, smoke after smoke. They just tasted a lot better than normal. And with the meth they kind of heightened the body buzz a bit, and made me feel tingly all over.

I needed to be talking to someone, so I spend the day driving around, trying to find friends to talk to. Listening to music and still chain smoking the whole time. I must admit, the cigarettes really dried me out and made me feel a little shitty when I started to come down. I think I went through about three packs of Camel Wide Filters that day. I took down about an entire 2 liter bottle of Mt. Dew as I had an hour long conversation with the guy at the gas station that I didn't even know. Something that I would NEVER normally do. I rarely talk to people I don't know in public but the meth really opened me up and I actually made a couple friends off the experience, just by talking to passing strangers.

The sun started coming down and I went back home. I did a line about half the size of my first one for a little boost. I ended up cleaning my room and my car. I tried to sit in front of the computer to chat, but I couldn't just sit still that long. As the night got later and later, I ended up going nuts in my room by myself. I tried to sleep but could not to save my life. I went back out and met up with a friend of mine. About 2 in the morning, I did another line with her and we went to a truck stop for breakfast, but we weren't hungry at that time. We just drank soda, smoked and talked. We ended up driving around until the sun came up, and then some. We talked about so much stuff. The meth helped us get really close that night. Eventually we both went back home. I still lived with my parents at the time, they were already awake by the time I got home. I still couldn't sleep. It actually didn't bother me, because I really had nowhere to go, I figured it would wear off in a few hours, and I wouldn't do any more. I had about a half gram left. I ended up reading an entire novel that morning from about 7 until noon.

I was really tired by this time, but still could not sleep. I thought of just smoking some weed, since that usually put me right to sleep. But since it was mid-day I made the mistake of snorting the rest of the meth up. These boosts were never as intense as the first time I went from sober to speeding, since the tweak had already zapped most my energy. I went back out and drove around, smoked, listened to music, talked to people. It wasn't near as fun as the previous day. I felt really half-assed. I went back home when the sun started to set. I meticuously rolled a couple joints. After the first one, I started feeling a lot better, the weed helped cover the whole tweak hangover. It also helped me eat a little bit. Then I smoked the other one, watched a movie for a bit and finally managed to fall asleep. Strangely enough, I thought when I woke up, I would feel so drained. When I woke up the next afternoon, I actually felt very energized. The buzz was gone but I still felt very hyper.

From then on, I usually used it when I had a couple days off, only I learned not to 'boost' myself so much. Only about twice, then I'd make sure I had weed to help me sleep! I eventually got into the habit of starting out with meth and boosting myself throughout the day with coke, which actually worked pretty well. I never did drugs when I worked, but I started doing speed before work or on my breaks. It drastically improved my work ethic. Working in a burger joint, you gotta move fast, and I was the fastest worker there anyway, so you could imagine.

Eventually, one time I drastically overdid it. I had done about two grams of tweak and an eightball of coke, which is a lot for me, because I'm a pretty skinny guy as it is. It was about my third day in a row of being AWAKE. I had no weed to make me sleep, I was lying on my bed, I was so hyper from all the speed, yet I could not move. I literally thought I was going to die and I ended up blacking out after having a nervous breakdown. Since then, I have quit speed and coke for quite awhile. It's been about a year since that happened and the last time I did anything like that was some ritalin this guy gave me for free at this new job I had after I moved. It was very half assed. I felt a good speed buzz for about an hour, then I had a headache for the rest of the day. It wasn't worth the dollar I snorted it in. The was about 4 months ago.

As I write this now I really grow a huge urge to get some meth again. I might and I might not. I have a birthday coming up and I think it would make a good present for myself. Time will tell. But my advice to anyone who is thinking about or is doing meth, is that if you do it, take it slow. I always wanted to do more and more to keep my buzz going and keep speeding. But I found it's just best to let it wear off and let my body rest up before doing more. The more and more I kept doing it in a day(s) the less and less powerful it became. Oh, and weed really helped to let me relax and sleep, too. Enjoy.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 21061
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 27, 2005Views: 63,910
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Methamphetamine (37) : First Times (2), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

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