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Worst Trip EVER (Danger, will Robinson)
Alcohol & Diazepam
by former alcoholic
Citation:   former alcoholic. "Worst Trip EVER (Danger, will Robinson): An Experience with Alcohol & Diazepam (exp20660)". Erowid.org. Dec 5, 2007. erowid.org/exp/20660

 
DOSE:
4 tablets oral Pharms - Diazepam
  3 tablets oral Pharms - Diazepam

BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb


You want to have crazy visual hallucinations? Stronger and more realistic than LSD or Shrooms or 2-CB? Well I have the drug for you. Alcohol.

Over the last year I progressed from a social drinker to a full blown alcoholic. I am not lying when I state that I could drink an entire 750ml bottle of vodka every single evening and not feel drunk in the slightest. For the last 3 or 4 months I just drank to keep the shakes and panic attacks away - I had no desire to get drunk, I just drank to stay sane.

Well, on New Year's day I decided enough was enough, and I quit cold turkey.

Bad idea.

I had managed to get 20 valium in order to help ease the withdrawlas and prevent delirium tremens in case things got ugly. Probably saved my life, really.

The first day with no alcohol I was a jittery paranoid mess - my heartrate was around 120bpm constantly, even when taking valium. I was sweating and freezing at the same time, and dizzy constantly. I had to call in sick for work because I literally could not stop shaking.

The second day is where the fun began. I'm being facetious.

All day long I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye, almost like the shadow people seen after a 3-day meth binge. And then I started hearing things. And by 'things' I dont mean an occasional noise or sound that doesnt exist- I mean I started hearing voices everywhere. My guitar would whisper at me whenever I walked by it, and the wallpaper would tell me that it planned to kill me. In perfect english, and perfectly audible. Just as real as if someone was standing behind the wall shouting at me.

At this point I downed 4 valium in an attempt to knock myself out and avoid the madness.

As I turned off the lights and laid down in bed, the visuals began. I still don't know how to describe what I saw- the visuals were brightly colored and constantly swirling and spinning.. I saw flourescent outlined people walking around behind my eyelids, waves crashing against beaches, animals running around, friends and family walking towards me. I had an overpowering sense that my life was flashing before my eyes and I was minutes away from death. These visuals were more 'real' than anything I had ever seen, and I've tried almost every hallucinogen known to man. They were in a totally different category of strangeness. It absolutely scared the living daylights out of me. I quickly took 3 more valium and laid there shaking and crying, praying that I would soon pass out.

About an hour later, I finally blacked out.

The next day I was fine, except for a little residual case of the shakes.

I will never drink alcohol again, period. I clearly can't control my consumption and don't want to take the chance that I could end up in this sort of situation ever again.

No other drug has ever caused me so much grief in my entire life. I have tried basically every drug there is, except heroin, and had absolutely no problem with addiction. But alcohol is a different story altogether.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 20660
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 5, 2007Views: 32,156
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Alcohol (61), Pharms - Diazepam (115) : Bad Trips (6), Addiction & Habituation (10), Alone (16)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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