Citation: UKOK. "Agony Of Speeding In The UK: An Experience with Amphetamines, Cannabis & Alcohol (exp20591)". Erowid.org. Nov 16, 2005. erowid.org/exp/20591
Firstly I would like to state each of us is an individual but that doesnt mean we dont also have responsibilties to others in society. So I am not now nor have I ever recommended anyone else to take any drug or chemical substance.
OK so my experience of speed (billy, whizz or white being other UK slang terms). I started to take speed around 97 to help me deal with a Degree course at Uni and holding down 2 jobs (one weekends and one on days off from Uni in the week). I had previously tried Cannabis and not had a problem with it, in my opinion it is no worse having the occasional joint than having a beer, but a friend then asked me if I had ever tried speed? I said no and then after a talk with my friend about it decided I would try some. My friend then offered me 1 gm of street Amphetamine Sulphate which I took in the form of a paper bomb swallowed with some water. After around 10 minutes I said to my friend 'nothings happening' the reply to which 'was give it a bit longer'.
Next thing I knew it was 3 in the morning and I was sat in a motorway cafe drinking coffee with my friend and 2 other. I was also grinding my teeth talking, very rapidly and felt so full of ideas it was like the greatest buzz ever. This feeling lasted until around 9 am giving a total time of 10 hours since ingestition. Wow I thought this is great and over the next 6 months I used speed for runs of upto 5 days at the end of which I would crash for a day then the cycle would begin again for anything from 2 to 5 days. This was also combined with Cannabis and Alcohol (usually 1.5l white wine and vodka). My then partner (through my friend) also started using speed and so we both followed the pattern above.
'So what' you might be saying 'sounds like fun?' Yes it was but thats the whole problem with Speed it made everything fun but it also turned off the part of my brain that says 'dont do that dont do this'. I lost touch with my own self-control and did things simply for the pleasure they gave at the most basic animal level. Making love becomes sex and I ignored the reality of life with its constraints such as finance management in favour of immediate satisfaction.
The end result of this for me was a heart attack in 1998 that nearly cost me my life. I was then 34 and had never had any heart trouble previously. To those who have seen actors on tv portray a heart attack and think thats what its like you are wrong. It was the most painful experience of my life to that point and it doesnt last for a few seconds either. Mine lasted for 2 hours before the clot was broken down by the drugs and my heart could function again.
Following this I stopped Speed for nearly a year while my then partner carried on occasionally using it. But one night after a massive row with my then partner I tried it again and before long was back to using it although this time for no more than 2-3 days in a row max.
My marriage broke down in 2001 due to our continued use of Speed as it turned me and my ex wife from being a loving couple into two people who could only see their own percieved needs rather than the needs of each other and our children. This led to arguments and an eventual split which has damaged both of us and our children. For 6 months I was alone until I found a new partner who is also a speed user (although I didnt know this until we had been together for a few weeks). Then in October last year (2002), after I had taken speed (2 grams Base Amphetamine) 6 hours before, I found myself lyeing on my couch feeling as if I was suffering a bad case of heartburn. So like most people I went to bed after taking an over the counter remedy (Rennie). This was at 1.00AM and I was rapidly coming down from the Speed.
By 2.00AM I was in absolute agony and asked my partner for 2 aspirin (300mg each) and to call an Ambulance. She did this and on the arrival of the Medics she told them I had taken Amphetamine and been smoking Cannabis splifs (I have almost always smoked Cannabis Resin purchased for £25 pounds for half an ounce only rarely have I smoked Grass). They then took me in an Ambulance to hospital where I was seen by doctors who then gave me 5mg of DiaMorphine (Heroin) and the clotbuster drug Rapilysin (Reteplase). The pain was so intense it even overcame the DiaMorphine and the clotbuster drug itself on its first use did not break down the clot. But luckily at the second attempt it did and I was able to almost immediatly able to drift off into a state of total bliss.
Following this I spent 7 days in hospital and now find I have changed from being someone who was fairly fit having played soccer and studied judo until the age of 32. Into someone who gets out of breath even walking too briskly and who can no longer enjoy my time playing soccer with my kids as I used to. I now also have to take various drugs for my heart, eat a set diet and constantly live with the fear of my kids seeing me collapse and possibly die in front of them.
I have tried to make the above as concise as possibly but in summary speed cost me my marriage as it changed both me and my ex partner psychologically into more self centered people. It cost me my health and nearly killed me twice. But above all it cost me the purest buzz there is the buzz of spending real quality time with my sons. So if you are thinking of trying speed DON'T its not worth it it. Yes its fun, yes it gave me confidence, yes it made the mundane tolerable. But it also screws up my head, turns me into a bullshitter who cant shut up and who cant see it destroying my own health.
I no longer use Speed and although yes I miss it at times I prefer to enjoy the real quality time that has been given to me through the work of the doctors who saved my life. Given a choice between Speed or a runout on my motorcycle with my partner on pillion on a sunny day give me the latter please.
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