Citation: Morninggloryseed. "Within and Without: An Experience with DMT (exp20398)". Erowid.org. Jan 13, 2003. erowid.org/exp/20398
I carefully weighed out and prepared two dosages of DMT for my best friend and myself. This was my second experiment with DMT, and his first. My previous experience involved a ‘test dosage’ of twenty milligrams, which produced a mild plus-two intensity trip. The dosage this time was forty milligrams each. Each of us had been anticipating this day for some time. Being avid psychedelic enthusiasts, we both had dreamed of the time that we would take DMT together. Now it was finally here!
We decided to smoke the DMT at my friend’s home because his residence offers a truly warm and comforting feel. The actual room in which we consumed the material was made completely dark except for candlelight. A decision was made to trip without the aid of music, partially because we did not wish to color the experience, but also because we could not agree on what to listen too! We spent the remaining few hours preceding the trip in silent prayer and private contemplation. Shortly before I prepared the pipes for smoking, I lit some incense and walked around the house entering each room to pray and offer the smoke as a token of respect for my surroundings.
When the zero hour arrived we were both nervous, but ready as two could ever be for such an experience. Although having a sober guide would have been the most responsible thing to do, we decided to smoke it simultaneously instead of one after the other, as each of us wanted to go through this experience together. More incense was lit. The DMT was carefully placed into our glass pipes, and I ignited both torches. One final prayer was said and then we commenced with the smoking process. Inhaling the material proved to be a little difficult, as it did have the strong plasticy taste others have described. My friend had a bit more difficulty smoking it than I did, and I recall him entering a coughing fit after his first hit.
The effects began before I could even finish smoking the drug, and the trip quickly became very intense. I found it very difficult to finish what was left in the pipe. Sitting cross-legged in front of my friend, I turned and looked into his eyes. He smiled, let out a little laughter, and then shut his eyes. Then it really began to affect me. First a powerful rush hit my body, though it was much less immersive and overwhelming compared to 5-MeO-DMT. Next everything in my surrounding vision started to vibrate with life and energy. Then suddenly, it was if a flash had gone of in my head, and I left my body. Now I was in a very different place. I could still see the room, but now I was looking at it from a different dimension. I remember thinking to myself, “This is how things really are”. The DMT dimension is not any more or less real than our ‘normal’ world. It is simply different.
I recall closing my eyes and immediately seeing what I can only describe as a female creature that reminded me of what medieval witch. Her head was triangular but her body appeared to have the same shape as a human-like figure. She almost appeared animated, yet I could not call her ‘cartoon-like’. What I will never forget is the life in her eyes. Unlike the visions I’ve experienced with other psychedelics, this vision did not seem connected to my ego in any way. It appeared to exist on its own, completely independent of myself. She smiled and expended her hand towards me. I felt as though she wanted me to take it but I didn’t because it was all a little intimidating. The idea of directly interacting with an entity I was seeing on DMT suddenly seemed very unnerving to me. I don’t know why I felt this way because I only felt warm and friendly vibes coming from her. I just did not feel completely at ease with the situation. I rejected her hand and she soon disappeared. I only wonder if I did the right thing.
The next vision I recall was a multi-armed goddess dancing against a golden background. Again there was this life force I could see in her eyes. Almost as if I was looking into the soul of this vision. The manor in which she was dancing, and the feelings I experienced as a result of witnessing this display, was very powerful and emotional for me. Though I can’t explain in words what it was all about, her dancing seemed to have a deeper meaning. As though each movement held a new mystery into the greater scheme of things. It was one of the more beautiful displays I have ever seen in my life. The ironic thing is my best friend later reported seeing the exact same vision as I did, and it seemed to occur for him at the same time I experienced it. I believe our minds were on the same level at this point; or rather we were at the same place. When I opened my eyes, I saw him staring at me and then he smiled. He then reached out his hand for mine and I took it. When this happened, out two bodies seemed to form into one object. We hovered and floated about the room in a sea of color and light, spinning into hyperspace.
Shortly after, I can remember looking over my shoulder to see this being dressed in what I can only describe as a being dressed in disco-influenced conquistador clothing gesturing for me to follow it. It seemed to want to lead me into the bedroom just behind it. Again, what really stood to me was the life it had in its eyes. This just did not seem like a simple psychedelic vision. As with the first entity I encountered, this was as ‘real’ to me as anything else. For some reason I did not get good vibes from this thing. I do not know what it wanted from me, but I felt I was wise to ignore it. I recall once hearing from McKenna that not all the entities you will meet on DMT have the best intentions. I sure did not feel this one did and it soon disappeared. I closed my eyes again to witness multi-colored geometric castles rapidly being destroyed and then recreated right before my very amazed mind.
I opened my eyes and discovered that my body was covered with objects that seemed to be exploring me. These were small machine-like forms that seemed to float just above the surface of my skin, never actually touching it. They reminded me of miniature robotic vacuum cleaners with scanning noses. Advanced mechanical objects, each attempting to report on a different region of my body. Amazingly enough, this did not frighten me in any way. I simply closed my eyes again and let these objects continue to explore me. However when I shut my eyes they were still there! They continued to shuffle about in my line of sight before eventually disappearing, only to be replaced with other visions. I have no idea what it all meant, but everything seemed to have purpose. I opened my eyes again and noticed that around seven minutes had passed since we took the DMT.
At this point I had started to come down from the DMT, and things quickly died out. I remember closing my eyes one final time and seeing more visions of various creatures. Wolf-like creatures with lizard heads now appeared and swam past my eyes with complete ease. I recall one turning its head to stare at me. As before, these beings had life in their eyes. They were more to me than just simple visions, but at this point there was little interaction between them and I. They simply floated past my line of sight. When I opened my eyes, the normal world had returned for the most part, only now it was bathed in a golden light. The trails were incredible, more than just simple after-images. When I moved my hand in from of my eyes the image fell apart into colors and fractals.
By the fifteen-minute point, little remained of the effects. I simply had a pleasant awareness in my body. There was the sensation of warmth and relaxation, and a strong sense of euphoria at having survived the experience. Within thirty minutes I felt completely normal, and the drug left no residue. DMT was very easy on my body. My friend commented that his throat was a little sore, but other than that all was well for him too.
In the end DMT showed me something very important…that my consciousness is not just confined to this (normal) waking state. It is possible to exist in more than one dimension at any given moment in time and space. In addition I believe there are beings, entities, things (whatever you wish to label them as) that can exist both within and without “myself.” These elemental beings are a part of me, but they also exist separately from who I am. Like many things in the universe, both opposites are true. We can through various methods (including DMT) choose to make contact with these beings and dimensions if we so desire. For this teaching I am ever grateful because it was an important lesson to learn. My next lesson will be learning to reach similar states of mind without
I did not experience any insights or deep revelations into myself, nor into the makeup of the universe from this trip. DMT doesn’t seem to be much of a mind-expanding drug
, in the same sense of LSD or mescaline. This trip simply wasn’t focused on “me”, or my world and experience. The DMT experience is well beyond “me.” It is instead a voyage, an experience where “I” am taken to different realms, levels, and dimensions that exist both within and without myself. Who I am, and my place in the grand scheme of things, is only an afterthought. For that reason I see the continual and repeated use of DMT to be very limiting. Once we are made aware of these other realities, the entire point of smoking DMT is lost. One just doesn’t need it anymore. I feel oral DMT (ayahusaca) will have a lot more to offer me in the way of universal insights and cosmic revelations, but I have decided to save that experience for much later in life.
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