Blue Blasphemy - A Lesson in Life
Zolpidem, Butalbital & Alcohol
Citation:   Mihkal. "Blue Blasphemy - A Lesson in Life: An Experience with Zolpidem, Butalbital & Alcohol (exp19952)". Erowid.org. Aug 24, 2005. erowid.org/exp/19952

 
DOSE:
800 mg oral Barbiturates (pill / tablet)
  3 shots oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid)
  20 mg oral Pharms - Zolpidem (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
After a week of 'hunting and gathering', J, D, B, and I, decided to get together, hang out for one last night before J and B went off to graduate school. We had all we could ask for... enough hard drugs and liquor to euthanize every farm animal in this town. It soon became apparant, though, there was hardly anything to do. We had to make our own fun. Well to make a long story short, after 3 shots, I decided this was not enough, I was just coming down off of barbituarates, and needed something else. I had 3 options... Adderall, Demerol, or Ambien... well after learning that Demerol and Butalbital are incompatible with each other I decided to take 2 Ambien. This was perhaps the worst mistake of the night, and perhaps my life.

The others smoked some weed, and we all decided to go bowling, big mistake. It was only a couple minutes after paying for my shoes I began to feel the Ambien.

My vision became distorted, everything seemed fuzzy. The building bagan to shift like I was on an elavator in a giant airplane, and there was violent turbulance (difficult to explain). Instead of hearing music through speakers, in stereo, the sounds flanged and became mono, and moved into corners. I would lay down on the bench, and put my ear up to the corner, where the bench and the wall met, and I would listen. There was loud white noise. I remember stumbling into the bathroom, only to laugh out loud at the thought of how disgusting everything and everyone seemed. The last thing I remember is throwing up in the public bathroom, then sticking my hand into the toilet and breaking apart my own disgorge. Normally i wouldn't even look at my own vomit, but I was so disoriented, logic had completely vanished. I felt like a baby, everything seemed new, and mysteriously strange.

Now the rest is a blank, sort of, my memory is in blocks... but according to my friends, the rest of the night went something like this...

I walked out of the bathroom, and became increasingly loud, according to D. I began to laugh, but at the same time, became increasingly agitated. I told them that they didn't understand their 'purpose', and that they weren't going to learn what they needed to know... I then remember thinking that the world, and reality was simply a modification of what is really in front of us, the external object. That they lived in a false plane of existance. Apparently I got the attention of the police... I became violent and loud. The police man asked D and B what I was on, while he held me up, my arm around his shoulder. The police man told them to leave, and that an ambulance was to come pick me up. J decided to stay, so he could explain.

I was taken to the emergency room, and my clothes were cut off of me. They found an empty bottle of barbiturates (before the incident I had 14 left, a blood test later confirmed I ingested a total of 16 that night!) in my jacket (may I add my favorite jacket, was cut to shreds, this was the least of my problems...). I remember yelling 'mophine, morphine' to the nurses as they held me down, giving me looks like I was the scum of the earth (obviously I was). Then I woke up.

I immediatly felt a painful sting around my penis, it felt like I was perpetually taking a piss, I began to pull rather hard on the tube, but luckily a nurse stopped me, she explained the tube was conected to a balloon, and it needed to remain there to make sure my kidneys were still functioning. There was a tube in my nose, going down my throat, and an IV in my arm... they said I would not have a hangover because all the essential fluids were being injected into me. This did not stop me from having one hell of a migraine attack, without any pain meds.

All in all that was the worst trip of my life, and quite a wake up call, a lot has happened since then, and I have definitely changed... I have regained trust from my girlfriend, and parents, and have quit taking drugs to escape... I remain on meds to control my migraines, and still take LSD. I just want this to be a warning, because not a lot has been said about Ambien or Barbs... alone they are rather safe, but because of my ignorance... I almost died.

But that is life, it is learning. I am not preaching, because you cannot be taught life's lessons, you have to learn them, you have to experience... I have stopped chasing the light, the knowlege I used to always seek tripping, because I now realize, that light was my own death. When my time comes, I will see the light, and my life will flash before me, and everything will make sense... mabey for a second, or maybe for eternity... but I can definitely wait.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 19952
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 24, 2005Views: 24,378
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Pharms - Zolpidem (143) : Combinations (3), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Hospital (36)

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