Citation: David. "Out of the Shell: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp19539)". Erowid.org. Sep 12, 2005. erowid.org/exp/19539
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I had done my research. I was versed in all the facts and figures involved with taking MDMA, all the media coverage (if, might I say, a little one-sided), all negative and positive aspects involved. I soon decided, some eight months after I saw a documentary on Rave Culture and ecstasy, to try this controversial drug.
All the research in the world couldn't have prepared me for what was in store for me.
'Euphoria', 'Feelings of well-being' and 'A general warming to others', tend to stick in my mind. I feel it was much more so than just feeling a bit euphoric.
I approached a much-trusted friend, and told him of my intentions. He was very understanding, and it wasn't long before I was eyeing off a small resealable plastic bag held in his hand, containing three small, grey pills. One for myself, and one for my other two friends. I took a pill out; I stared at it. Touched its surface - smooth. I smelled it - it smelled pungent, almost sour. Placing it back carefully, hands quivering, I longed for the time when I would actually ingest it.
The day of consumption arrived, and I awoke feeling quite excited. Like a child at Christmas. I don't know why, but I felt I'd be a different person after today. There was a local music festival on, and I had been planning this moment for a month. I had made sure I had a good sleep the previous night, and I had been eating lots of fruit & veggies all week. I was healthy, refreshed and ready to go.
At 2:30pm on a Saturday afternoon, the pill was sliced cleanly in half. An incredible rush of adrenalin ensued as I swallowed the first half; I wanted to take things slowly, one half at a time, just to make sure that what I was taking was safe and wouldn't result in a visit to the emergency room.
I began feeling effects about an hour later, with general feelings of alertness and slight hyperactivity. I was pumped, and I had been psyching myself up all week - this was probably a major factor. I was told that when one takes the drug that one's state of mind would greatly affect how the trip would be.
Two or so hours down the track, after listening to Sonic Animation (all...well, most Aussies will know of whom I speak!) my levels of energy were still unusually high. I was feeling good but still inhibited. I then decided to take the other half. A quick trip to the toilet, a fumbled attempt to remove the other half from its bag (this was incredibly hard to achieve!!), and I was walking back to my friends, still feeling good - if a little nervous. We danced a bit at what we had dubbed the 'doof tent' - i.e. a tent where they were playing trance and techno all day and night.
An hour passed, and still nothing (or so it seemed), so we went outside to watch the sunset and listen to some of the other acts still playing. As we sat on the grass, I leaned back on my elbows and regarded the sky. It was then that I began to feel the rush. Everything before me had suddenly become so much more clearer, more crisp, 'fresh'...simply beautiful. I was totally non-discriminatory, I didn't judge anyone on what they wore, how they looked, what they were doing...shit, skin colour never even entered the equation!
The night wore on. I danced a lot more, feeling incredibly euphoric. We left occasionally to cool down, and the moment I stepped out of the tent, my body would instantly react to the change of environment. From Energetic and 'bouncy', to slow, calm and incredibly deliberate in all my motions. I was quite hot, and my friend poured a bottle of water over my head. It was a shock, but it felt near orgasmic. I was aware of every single droplet of water trickling down my entire body, from my scalp, down to my ankles - utter bliss.
I was normally a very quiet, solitary sort of person, with little confidence at all. But with all inhibitions lost, I felt like a new person - I didn't care what anyone thought of me - I was there to have fun and enjoy the experience. My friend however, had nowhere near as much an enjoyable experience as myself. The more I began to 'fly' as I called it, the more he started to sink. In fact, he had pretty much hit rock bottom by the time I hit my peak. It was quite bizarre, considering he took the same drug, and at relatively the same time (in halves), as myself.
This 'peak', as I have described it, then continued for at least 3 hours, before I started coming down - at which point I was still feeling very invigorated and energetic - just a little sore and incredibly hungry. I wasn’t depressed the following day, or that night, but very happy with my life. I now find it much easier to become motivated. I am a lot more confident, making decisions a lot quickly, regardless of their consequences. In a way, I am no longer fearful of what unpleasant things life may throw at me. I love life so much more than before; things seem a lot clearer. I believe that taking E was amazingly uplifting, even spiritual. It was the most enlightening moment of my life. I doubt I will ever regret that experience.
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