Citation: TLATU. "Becoming the Candle Light: An Experience with LSD, TMA-2, Methamphetamine, Salvia divinorum (7x extract), Cannabis & Oxycodone (exp19176)". Erowid.org. Nov 25, 2002. erowid.org/exp/19176
This was the first week in sometime that there was acid in town. So after obtaining a fair quantity the prior weekend, and testing the strength with a small dose (1 hit) I decided I would go on one of my 'weekend journey's'. Something I hadn't done in nearly two years. It is essentially a weekend of psychedelics. These experiences are more than recreational, they are a chance for me to reflect on my life and the decisions I make.
So, the journey began. I awoke at noon on a beautiful sunny Saturday. I took a shower and cleaned myself up. This is very important to me and I feel cleansed and purified before my experience. I didn't eat anything prior to the trip for the same reason. Although, at 2p, when I took the 4 hits of acid and I ate half a peanut butter sandwich. There was one hit on each sugar cube and that is too much sugar for me to eat alone. The sugar gave me slight nausea but passed.
Within an hour I was tripping within two hours I had signifcant visual. Now during this experience I was accompanied by my girlfriend (who I live with) my roommate, and my younger brother. They took the same quantity of acid as I did. At first I felt the trip might be too strong. As I rose to the peak I felt very anxious and scared, almost physically sick. But I tried to reason with myself that if I relax and think positive thoughts and the fear and the negative thoughts will leave. I went to my bed and laid there, putting a blank over me relaxed me and made my head, which felt like it was swimming with thoughts, settle a bit. At this point I still lacked perception changes, the acid was only affecting my thoughts. Finally, my thoughts stabilized and my friends left to the store to get cigarettes. I was left with my brother, it was his first time to use acid and he was tripping very hard. He was talking about being able to see himself in the ceiling. Since I was back in control of myself I watched after him in the apartment.
I was dissappointed that I wasn't getting visuals. So I proceeded to smoke several bowls. Suddenly I was bombarded with images. This time my visuals seem to be mostly vortex in nature, swirling about a central point. Throughout the trip I remained fairly in control of myself and I wasn't having the introspective thoughts I usually get on acid. So I turned on some music quite loud and sat around listening to music with my friends who had just returned. For at least two hours I laid on my couch lost in a world I can only vaguely remember. It was a beautiful place of colors and voices and is completely beyond description.
Five hours into the trip my roommate decided to take some rolls. I decided to take my TMA. My girlfriend and brother opted to not take any more drugs. Now I know that my capsule of TMA-2 had a certain quantity of speed in it and 40mg of TMA-2. I do not like amphetamines, but I decided to make an exception because TMA-2 is rare. I dosed and felt very sped up for 3 hours. I hate that feeling. I was shaking uncontrollably and I felt freezing cold even though everyone else was burning up. During this hell I wanted to die and the acid shifted gears on me. I becaming very clearly headed and although the visuals intensified, I was able to concentrate better. Unfortunately, I began to concentrate so hard that it felt as if my brain was somehow concentrating and amplifying the mental pain I felt.
After the 3 hour torcher the TMA kicked in and at this pointed I didn't know which end was up and I was feeling GREAT. The smallest things: a crack in a wall or a stain on a carpet suddenly seemed perfectly etched into the universe. This drew my attention to the imperfections in everything, especially art and music, and at this point I understood that somehow, imperfections were what really define beauty. Perhaps imperfections are the wrong word, but I am not sure what the right word is. I was tripping quite hard, this was one of the strongest trips I have ever been on and my visuals were overwhelming and for awhile my vision became a soup of colors and shapes.
At some point as my mind returned and visuals reduced I realized my brother and girlfriend had fallen asleep and my roommate who was candy flipping was very much awake with me. It also came to my attention that it was 10am in the morning Sunday. I was still tripping hard and sleep was at least 12 hours away. Me and my roommate sat around smoking weed for several hours and as my trip faded more and more I realized that despite how strong the trip was, something felt unresolved. I felt as if I were leaving some memory or lesson behind as I left my 'tripping universe' and entered my 'normal' universe. So, me and my roommate decided to return to wonderland for awhile. I have smoked Sally before, but only gotten really giddy. I seldom get visuals. But, I read doing salvia with another psychedelic can be really powerful. I was a bit nervous, but I was definitely coming down now and I figured I could handle what was thrown at me.
I packed the extract into the bowl of our bong. I put it to my mouth and began to light. I sucked nearly the entire bowl into my lungs, (I play saxophone and have a HUGE lung capacity). I held it until I felt like I was going to pass out and I let it out. I sat for a second and just as I thought, 'that's funny it doesn't seem to be working' BAM I was rocked to some other world where I felt like my conciousness became the play thing of some little plant that grows South America. While I was gone, I thought I had lived in this world forever and the normal world was a dream. Then suddenly I was back, my hand still grasping the bowl, eyes wide open looking at Matt and he was looking at me. And I shouted, 'wow' Loudly. Everything looked perfectly defined and beautiful. Then I realized something was different. I looked around frantically, ' what's different, what's different' I asked Matt and he was just laughing at me.
Then I started laughing and I realized that I was the candle light and my whole spirit was flickering with the candle light. Then I looked down. 'Holy shit, ' I thought to myself, 'Have legs and feet and I can walk and I am NOT the candlelight.' I was so excited I got up and started to scramble across the room. Then I remembered that during my reading that some people had gotten hurt walking around on Saliva, so I stopped and hit the floor and sat there until the Sally passed. I felt very strange for awhile and then returned to my trip. The experience was extremely intense. Not scary so much, but enough to shock me a bit and I definitely felt no more need to return to wonderland. I was happy I was finally able to truly experience salvia and the knowledge she imparts and not just giddy laughter that I normally get.
Slowly the other substances wore off. But as expected, the meth that was used to cut the TMA was still burning strong and I had a lot of energy and at this point it was 8:30pm and I was still unable to sleep. I was no longer tripping and I had a strong headache from not eating or sleeping or even closing my eyes enough. Advil was no help. Normally I don't like to take anything to 'bring me down' from a trip. I believe that leaves issues unresolved. But I was no longer tripping I was just very much awake. So I called my friends with Oxy's and took one, I don't remember the dosage, but I took just one pill. Smoked a lot more weed and eventually fell asleep. As I drifted off, it felt as if some of my closed eye visuals returned, but this didn't keep me from sleeping. It is 5pm Monday and I feel great as I write this right now.
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