Citation: Fnord. "Addict Went Too Far: An Experience with Caffeine (exp19132)". Erowid.org. Jun 1, 2006. erowid.org/exp/19132
I was 17 at the time this happened, it was many years ago, and had been a regular (daily) coffee drinker for at least four years. About a year before this experiece I finally realized that I was addicted to caffiene. I should have known before this time but I didn't want to believe that was possible. It was bad enough that my `big' birthday gift for the previous year had been a coffee machine. My mother obviously knew I was addicted too. The reason for the gift was my habit of drinking 5-7 cups of coffee each morning. My mother, also addicted, didn't like me draining her supply. So I, at 17, had a coffee machine by my bed. Good thing to because I needed it. I would have my morning pot of coffee over a period of two hours, the first hour was spent in bed just drinking coffee. (I know how sick this sounds. It took years to build up this huge tolerance.)
Throughout the day I would drink soda, tea, or something with caffiene about every hour to hour and a half. This level of use was taking a toll on my body already. I was jittery and needed coffee to sleep. I know how backwards that sounds but without a cup before bed I would be up in four hours craving one. I didn't do anything else because I believed that all illegal drugs were deadly. I thought caffiene had to be safe -- it was in everything.
The day before I had found some Vivarin in my mom's car. They were the little sample packets with two pills in each. Each pill being 200mg. I only grabbed two (thank goddess) and stashed them in my backpack. The day started normally with 6 cups of coffee and the continued consumption of caffiene till the last period of the day. This makes it rough to actually know how much caffiene was in my body at the time and how much had been processed out. My last class was JROTC. This class allowed us to drink soda (if we bought it from them). I bought three mountain dews. After drinking one I remembered the pills.
I am not a pill popper. So I read the packet. But two cups of coffee didn't seem like much to me. It took twice that to wake me up. So I drank two of them with another Dew. About 20 minutes later I had the last Dew with the other two pills. I didn't get euphoric. I didn't feel any real mental change at all. But I started shaking. It wasn't bad at first. My chest felt tight and my heart was racing. The class ended at this time and I slowly made it out of the room.
As I walked to my bus one eyelid started blinking rapidly and I could not stop it without holding it with my finger. I am actually shaking just remembering this. It might have looked funny to someone who saw me, shaking and blinking like a madman. But I was scared. I knew caffiene was a drug and I knew I had too much. I got on the bus and waited to get home. I thought I was going to die but I wasn't going to the hospital. My fear of needles was worth death, I guess.
I got home and went into my room. I laid down and tried my best to calm down. I tried to meditate, anything to control my body. The affects eventually subsided around two hours later. I skipped my cup of joe before bed that night. I knew I had to quit and soon.
It was two weeks till the end of the school year and I waited till after school ended. But then it was cold turkey. OUCH! For three days I was sick as a dog. Headaches and nausea dominated my body. I spent most of the time either in the tub soaking in cold water or in my blankets trying to get warm. I ate nothing and could barely keep water down. After three days the pain stopped and I could function again. But I still felt a lack of energy and just walked around outside a lot. It took a week till I felt that life was livable and probably a month till I felt `normal' again. The best thing from all this is that my mother also cut-down. She limits herself to two cups a day.
Me, I have been back on the ride a few times. But never to that degree. I drink three cups of tea a day now. No coffee and rarely soda. I will not allow myself to increase beyond this amount and if I feel the need I cut back for a while. I am glad that I wasn't seriously injured doing this and finally came to deal with my problem.
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