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Felt Close to Death - This is No Party Drug
AMT
by Clickie
Citation:   Clickie. "Felt Close to Death - This is No Party Drug: An Experience with AMT (exp18685)". Erowid.org. Nov 7, 2002. erowid.org/exp/18685

 
DOSE:
42 mg oral AMT (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb


There were around 5 of us who took the drug along with one dramamine, some had a bowl or two; I had taken it around 5:45 PM, and those before me up to two hours before. We just hung out for a while in 'A''s room. It took several hours for effects to start at all, we were constantly asking each other, 'Are you there yet?' 'not yet man...'

Around 6:30PM. I started to feel funny, as in comedy. Everything cracked me up, even silly little things. There were no visuals yet at all. I felt pretty good actually, excited...I could tell that if I had not taken the Dramamine I would have vomited at this point because my stomach felt a little funny; it was not having fun down there. I used breathing techniques to calm my stomach. This worked quite well.

Near 7:30PM. the visuals started. A few more people showed up. Zooming visuals and the carpet looked like a liquid, bubbling and swirling. Illustrations seemed alive and moving, but still static. I think this was because I recognized them as illustrations only and wrote them off. That didn't last long. However I played the acoustic guitar and sang, which put me into a different world, and perhaps those that were listening. It felt really good; it seemed so easy. All my skill became automated by it and my creativity was the only thing that limited me (it was limitless). I improvised songs right on the spot, and in my mind I traveled to places indescribable.

Up to 9:00PM. More and more people showed up, some took the drug, some came to buy it. I didn't realize this was going to be a bash. Parties never come through this neighborhood, and now the streets were lined with cars. All this and a cop living across the street contributed to paranoia. I paced around saying to my friend A, 'There are too many people here man' 'You have to get some people out of here' 'The streets are full man.' I began to panic because my friend A was out of it in terms of regulation of the house, and merely told me that he didn't know what to do. I called my friend 'M' and told him to come straighten me out, and that there were a lot of people here. He said he'd be over immediately. Thank God.

Up to 10:00PM. Waiting for my friend to arrive, I went to the basement by myself. (BAD IDEA) I was really panicky, and wanted to see if getting away from the people would help. It didn't. My mind created shadows that looked like people, and I began to see ugly faces looming around. 'That's not gonna work,' I said. More and more the doorbell rang, and voices got louder. I began to sweat pretty hard. I went to my friend A and told him I was really freaking out. He told some people to leave because he could see that I was serious. The people were frumpled, but some who were tripping didn't feel offended at all, and left on their own accord, telling me that it was OK, and that they were giving me space. I felt good about this, but it did nothing for the panic. I was stuck in several different mind loops, and nothing could occupy my mind instead. I tried everything: TV, music, a book, meditation, you name it. That is when the mess started.

A lay me down on the couch with a thin blanket because I was shivering. The blanket was not to warm me but just for touch. I was running a fever and my hair was getting wet. He fed me some fruit, chips and water. I had the sudden urge to hold someone's hand because something in me knew that something was very wrong. Visuals were EXTREMELY INTENSE. Faces morphed into entirely different faces, not just variations. Even though it was just A and me in the room, my mind MADE several more people watching me, walking through, etc. FINALLY my friend M got there and took over so that A could watch the remainder of people, who were all in his room.

10:30PM (yes, only that much time, AMT had serious time-warp..caution to you all.)

My mind began to slip out of consciousness, and my mind was in a different realm entirely. Visuals of all sorts, good and bad. Paranoia increased to delerious levels. When my mind slipped, eye movements mimicked REM of dreaming, and I convulsed the entire time. Sometimes these made me rise again, or my friend's calling. Every time I 'awoke' I yelped in distress. Soon after this happened again. I was sitting in sweat with terrible shakes. I pleaded for my friend to help me over and over again. Then a powerful thing came; I fell unconscious again, only this time there was no presence of reality at all. I was standing/floating in gray space, everywhere I looked. The gray color compressed into a white line in blackness, then to a dot, and then into a sparkling light. It grew larger and larger, and I knew no body at all. I didn't know my name, or where I was. I had no memory of taking a drug at all. I had to be dead, because my friend tells me I stopped breathing. They yelled my name and shook me, and I snapped back to reality, screaming. This had actually only lasted a few seconds in real life.

The little dream snaps kept happening, and then I had to vomit, maybe because the dramamine was wearing off. It was now 11:30PM. Harsh heaves threw up anything I had eaten. It took a little bit to actually get something out, but when it did, it was harsh. There was no pain, simply because my mind didn't care. After the spew I sat down on the floor, feeling a lot better. The detox period began, I could tell, but the paranoia was still there at every laugh, yell, doorbell, or argument outside the bathroom. My clothes were soaked, and the fever was rabid. They considered the hospital, but waited a little, and moved me into a bathroom farther from the people.

12:30PM Constant dream snaps and screaming. They fed me fruit and water again to keep me concentrated, and for energy. I actually was able to urinate very seldom with huge effort. I kept looking at the clock and noticed how slow time was moving and made me even more discouraged.

Up to 2:30. Effects wore down and conversation was possible. I knew my name and what I had done. I remembered everything (dreadful). I knew I had died, or close to died. I mellowed out on the bed, listening to some gentle music, still slipping into convulsions and dreams. My friend A would wake me for fear of another stop.

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A PARTY DRUG. SOMEONE MUST BE COMPLETELY SOBER as a mediator. Had the police showed up, we would have been absolutely helpless. This is an intense drug and must not be taken lightly (except in dosage of course). Do not take any more than the initial dose, as it may take up to 3 hours for effects, which will jump into plateau while you may be off-guard.

Be spiritually, mentally and physically prepared, and put yourself in a place where all variables of discomfort and fear are reduced/eliminated. You will look into your shadow, and you had better be in a place where you are ready to deal with it. Most of all have someone you know well around, it will keep you anchored and feel safe. If you begin to feel paranoia, tell someone who will understand what you need to feel comfortable immediately. This is not a toy; expand your mind carefully.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 18685
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 7, 2002Views: 37,740
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AMT (7) : Large Group (10+) (19), Guides / Sitters (39), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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