Amanita muscaria var. muscaria
Citation: Dr. D. "Er Hat Verruckte Schwammerln Gegessen: An Experience with Amanita muscaria var. muscaria (exp18326)". Erowid.org. Aug 3, 2005. erowid.org/exp/18326
For the longest time I had felt drawn to the mystical mushroom, A. muscaria; having dreams about them, searching the rugged Rocky Mountains for them growing tucked away in moist pockets of growth near trees. Finally, I obtained the scarlet fungus, and one fateful afternoon I ate the crazy mushrooms.
I decided that the best method of preparation would be a variation on traditional Siberian preparation. I soaked the dried caps in cold water for about thirty minutes (rather than warm water - or boiling due to their strong disagreeable odor.) Once re-hydrated, I tore the caps into quarter pieces, rolled them into balls, and swallowed all of the wadded up mushroom.
Once before I had tried to experience the mysticism of the Fly Agaric, but I don't think that I dosed it right, so this time I was skeptical about experiencing any effects. In hind sight, I believe that this skepticism set forth a mental state within me which was not appropriate for the awe, humility, and exalted spiritualism which I was about to experience. Knowing from literature that it takes a while for any symptoms of intoxication to appear, I sat down to watch a movie. No attempt of mental preparation was made prior to onset of the effects.
When the movie ended, I stood and walked to my bedroom. Immediately, I noticed a loss of equilibrium, and a mild numbing sensation in my face, and limbs. These effects were identical to the effects of alcohol intoxication. Rapidly, these effects dissipated and were replaced by nausea, and strong sedation. At this time I had retired to my bedroom, where I tried to watch television, in an attempt to keep my mind off of the nausea which was bothering me.
A haze seemed to roll into my head like a thick fall fog. The images on the television became very blurry, and strong vertigo made me lay still on my cot. At this time I had become a bit anxious due to the strong effects which I had not felt before. Feeling slightly sick, very dizzy, and sedated I lay in silence…and then it hit me.
I believe that I may have fallen asleep, or I may have drifted into a realm of transient thoughts, images, and voices. Either way about an hour after laying down I was jolted awake by a frightening realization: I was no longer existing in the everyday reality where I go to work, pay bills, and drive a car. Frightened, I began to pace agitated back and forth through my room, ranting about something, which I don't remember. At this point in time, I could see things in my room, but didn't associate the objects as being mine, or even knowing what they were. My vision was quite blurred, and cloudy like I hadn't slept in days. This was the last thing I remember seeing before I was whisked away into a dark quiet place.
The mushrooms suddenly ripped my soul from its physical body anchoring it to the Earth. I was cast into nothingness. I sat in pure darkness, where I didn't have a body. There was nothing around me, no arms, no legs, no body, no head.
This state didn't particularly scare me, somehow I knew that I was placed here in this nothingness for a purpose, so I waited. Soon, I felt a presence, a large omnipotent being had accompanied me in this void. It was not there to hurt me, yet it was not a benign entity either. I felt safe wile in its company, but not comfortable…then, before I could speak, the entity began to send a barrage of vivid images into my mind, answering questions which had not been asked. Somehow it had read my mind. Suddenly I realized, that this entity was The Power That Be…God, or Allah, Yahweh, or the Spirit of the Mushrooms if you will. It was pure power, brute energy, the Supreme Being.
The barrage of images catapulted me through time and space. First I saw the creation of molecules…atoms becoming molecules, becoming compounds, becoming living things. I watched the entire evolution of the planet Earth, and then the solar system. Each image flashing before my eyes with fierce intensity. A millennium lasting only a second or two, before another millennia unfolded within seconds before my eyes. This continued for roughly forty-five minutes, all the while, the images flashing faster and faster, flooring me with their intensity. Screaming, frantically, I begged for them to stop…then they did. Pausing only for a brief moment, before they returned to their intense flashing, going this time in reverse.
Crashing about my room I screamed and begged. Pleaded for relief from the images, never wanting so badly to return to reality. In an agitated delirium I thrashed about my room, unable to walk or stand. I crashed into walls, which I didn't see, and knocked over just about every piece of furniture in my room. Still I was pulled to my knees by the revelations which I was bearing witness to.
What happened next, I'm unsure of. I think that I finally fell asleep in a crumpled heap in my dog's large cedar chip filled bean-bag-bed.
In the morning, I woke with vivid memories of what I had experienced, and felt completely shaken to my roots by the intensity of the experience which I had just endured. The humility was strangely satisfying, having been shown and told through the images, the secrets of the cosmos, and the unveiling of The Creation.
Additionally I was blessed with a new profound respect for the psychedelic experience, and the intensity of the spiritualism that often times accompanies the experience.
Ingesting the Divine Mushrooms was, and still is the most powerful experience of my life. I have since partaken in many psychedelic journeys, but none come close to the reverence, and fear which I have for the Amanita muscaria.
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