Citation: Matt Himself. "Eyes Filled With Terror: An Experience with DPT & Nitrous Oxide (exp17957)". Erowid.org. Oct 5, 2002. erowid.org/exp/17957
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 2:10
Experience – First time
Setting – my house
DPT has been a psychedelic I have heard many mixed things about. Most people I’ve spoken with seem to enjoy it, and say it has powerful beneficial effects. Others described it to me as frightening and dark. It seemed like one of the things I wouldn’t have an answer for until I tried it myself.
I had thought about how to take DPT. I had been told by most to IM it. At my age though, I have no desire to use needles. After considering smoking the HCl, oral ingestion, or via nasal passage, I opted to insufflate the chemical.
I weighed out 30mg. I had been told also to use more than 30mg by most people. They had said do between 50mg and 100mg. I decided to start low though. I would rather step in slowly than dive right in.
11AM – I insufflate 30mg of DPT. There was no burn which surprised me. I began to shake a bit, but I assume it was adrenaline.
1105AM – I can already feel the presence of a chemical in my body. This gives two feelings. One being excitement, and the other being a feeling of anxiousness. I first taste the drip now. Absolutely awful. All it took to get rid of it though was a glass of soda.
1115AM – I am noticing visual distortions already. Things seem to breathe. I step outside and sit on my back porch. It was a beautiful day, 70 degrees, bright sun, which is weird for October. I notice patterning beginning. The grass in my backyard appears to be crystal. It glistens and looks transparent. The crystal grass then became part of the pattern, which consisted of everything. It was the grass blending into the trees which seemed to reach to the sky.
1130AM – I feel a little uncomfortable. I am shaking a lot now. The visuals begin to make the once beautiful outside become twisted and unrecognizable. I walk back inside. It seems as soon as my back is turned to nature, that the chemical exploded into my mind. I was suddenly unable to finish a thought. Everything blended together, and I was unable to know what I was thinking.
I started to get really frightened. I sat down and tried to calm myself. But it actually seemed to make it worse. Everything was getting more twisted and bizarre, and my thoughts were getting harder to make out. I decided I wanted to talk to someone to see if that would help.
1145AM – I log onto IRC (an internet chat client). I begin talking to a friend of mine explaining what is happening. He assures me that I am strong and I will make it through.
12PM – It’s still getting more intense. I’m still talking on IRC trying to calm myself down. The computer is becoming too strange to understand. The only thought I could make out was “This must be the peak, it’ll start to ease up soon”. I said that too myself repeatedly for about 20 minutes, and it continued getting more intense.
I curled up into a ball in the chair I was sitting in. I was so terrified. I just closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Behind my eyes were spinning fractals. They actually frightened me, which has never happened before. Closed eye visuals have never bothered me in the past, but I wanted them to go away.
I go back outside hoping that that will help me a bit. Walking through my house is terrifying. It all seems so foreign to me. I get outside, and the visuals return to beautiful ones, but my mind is still going too fast, and my body is still shaking violently.
Finally I called my friend E.
1230PM – After talking to E for a little bit, I started to calm down. My mind relaxed a bit. The shaking seemed to subside as well. After we hung up, I sat outside for about 20 more minutes. It was absolutely beautiful. I was amazed at how quickly this had gone from absolute terror to serene beauty. I just sat and stared. My thoughts were strange still, but they never came back up to the rapid pace which they had been.
1PM – I am almost completely down. Unfortunately, I don’t remember most of my thoughts for the past half hour. I feel as though I had just lost knowledge that could never be replaced. At this point I go back on IRC and talk to some people. They all seem happy that I am no longer in the state I was.
110PM – I decide I would like to try a little nitrous to see how it works right now. The effects are almost all but gone. I crack one cartridge and inhale it. It was the normal nitrous body high, but it brought visuals back. This time though, the visuals were colorful. They appeared as rainbow streaks on everything, all spiraling towards the center of my visual field. It was rather beautiful to watch.
130PM – I feel completely sober. Maybe a little spacy, but that’s not too strange considering what I have just experienced.
I don’t even really know where to begin with DPT. This was without question, the most frightened I have ever been on any psychedelic. It just seemed as though there was no end to the power building. I do not see DPT having recreational value. I think anyone looking for 'fun' with DPT will have a serious wake up call.
I was very shocked by the actions of this chemical. I had heard it was intense. That was why I decided to try 30mg rather than the 50 – 100mg suggested to me. I was hoping this would prepare me for a really powerful experience I would have in the future. It completely caught me off guard, and I was punished for underestimating it. Never has any drug cracked my head open and feasted on my brain in the way DPT did.
Will I try DPT again? Absolutely. Hopefully next time though, I’ll be better prepared.
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