Citation: Martel. "Confabulation: An Experience with DPT (exp17770)". Erowid.org. Sep 27, 2002. erowid.org/exp/17770
Having thoroughly examined the 50-80mg level of intramuscular DPT, I elected to try a 100mg experience this time. By this point, I'd found through trial and error that the easiest way to get the DPT into solution is to load the target dose into an empty 3mL syringe, and then add heated solvent up to 3mL. DPT's solubility in .9% NaCl solution is apparently somewhere between 30 and 50 mg per mL, as 2mL was not enough to dissolve 100mg, but 3mL worked quite nicely. Having this much solution to inject rules out the deltoid injection site, though, so I was forced to move to the lateralis site, which can accomodate roughly 2mL per side, as opposed to the deltoid's 1mL. This coindcided nicely with my new supply of IM needles, which were 1.5 inches long, which is entirely too big for deltoid injection anyway.
Within a minute of injecting 1.5mL into each leg, I started feeling the effects. The come-up phase in previous DPT outings had been marked by visual disturbances on the edges of my field of vision, such as seeing purple swirly designs, or the feeling of something moving right out of sight. Another common phenomenon was my posters appearing to wave, as if in a breeze. This particular come-up was notably different, with the first visible effect being a marked patterning of my carpet. The previously random patterns visibly coalesced into what appeared to be totem pole carvings. Interestingly enough, the patterns seemed to be fixed, in that I could look away and then look back, and they would be the same. Shortly thereafter, I began to feel the familiar amplification of my heartbeat that I get every time. The next visual effect was objects outside the center of my attention appearing to take on different appearances. For example, a crumpled up paper towel on my desk became a skull, and my overflowing clothes basket on the floor became a crouching child. These hallucinations would go away if I looked directly at the objects, but then return as soon as I looked at them with peripheral vision once more.
At this point, I began to notice the onset of sense-blending, which to me always manifests first in the ability to feel my sense of smell in the back of my throat. I also felt the familiar sinking feeling in my head, the feeling that the DPT would turn my brain inside out if I let it. This feeling has always been accompanied by a strange sort of nausea to me, so I tried not to let it get away from me. Upon further reflection, I think this may have been an interesting path to travel, so I will attempt to take it next time. I'm not really sure what happened over the next few minutes, but it became so intense that I turned off the music and went and lied down on my bed. I felt very unstable walking around, and my vision seemed to be vibrating. Any turning of the head produced such a cluttered visual field that I was forced to wait a few seconds for it to settle down. Upon lying down in bed, I was propelled fully into DPT space.
I found myself in seemingly ordinary nonsensical situations, invariably receiving some goal to achieve, whether it be tying my shoes, or finding the garden hose. I accepted these goals as one might accept the goal of finding something to eat upon feeling hungry. Each time I started to accomplish the goal, however, I would realize that I didn't know what I thought I knew, and the situation would dissolve and leave me back in my room. This is a fairly difficult concept to grasp now, and was certainly difficult at the time. I didn't really know what I knew I knew. Imagine someone asking you what was on the back of your shirt. You know you know. You don't even have to look to see what's there, because you already know what it is. I felt this way about the answers to my goals, whether it was the location of the garden hose, or the way to tie my shoes. Except I didn't really know, I only thought I did. Upon coming to this realization, not knowing would be added to my list of things I know I know, and then the cycle would start over again, with me realizing that I didn't really know what I took for granted as being obvious. Every cycle was also accompanied by another different ordinary situation.
Eventually, when my list of things I knew I know was empty, the peak ran out and I was roughly deposited back into my room. Of course, in keeping with the spirit of having no preconceptions, I was completely unable to tell where I was, or what any of the various objects scattered around were. I even had the sensation of having a leg cramp, but then when I tried to figure out what exactly that entailed, I decided that it was not a cramp at all, but simply me moving my leg. At some length I was able to learn how to sit up, and walk, and I proceeded around my room examining its contents to figure out which object was the computer, as I had been talking to some people on IRC before leaving to lie in bed. When some semblance of basic knowledge was restored, I started telling my friends what all I had experienced. The immediately post-peak portion of DPT seems characterized by an increased clarity of understanding exactly what had happened, and the ability to reach back into the gaping maw of chaos should the mood strike me.
Coming out of one such return to the peak effects, I found my head turned slightly to the right. I wasn't sure why this was, but then I remembered that I had done it within the trip somewhere as one of my 'goals'. The implications of this didn't fully strike me until I realized that I had taken my glasses off at some point, and had set them on the table in the center of the room. It just so happens that my right eye is really terrible at seeing anything more than a foot away, and that in order to read the screen with no glasses I have to turn my head slightly to the right. I find this to be highly interesting, that I had unconsciously turned my head to the right in order to be able to see the words on the screen, and that my brain had later confabulated a reason for it, since I was unaware of not having my glasses on. The implications of this are far-reaching indeed. How much of what we do in every day life is really controlled subconsciously, with our brains later making up some silly reason for it for us to believe?
After this incredible revelation, the rest of the trip was business as usual, with the typical mild empathogenesis and a bit of visual tracing still happening. The peak experience was certainly the most amazing drug experience I've ever had, even going so far as to rival 100mg of IM Ketamine. The difficulty of putting it into words even more so than my last great DPT trip disappoints me, though. All in all, this was incredible, and definitely worth trying again.
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