Citation: Sarah :). "The first trip..eye-opening: An Experience with LSD (exp1693)". Erowid.org. Oct 20, 2000. erowid.org/exp/1693
LSD is a crazy drug to take. You have to be in the right frame of mind mostly to take it, as I'm sure many of you already know.
My first experience with acid was a little odd..yet at the same time very eye-opening.
It was April of 1999.. I had just gotten out of work at Friendly's (I was a waitress) at an extremely late hour. A large group of my friends (about 50 people) had planned on going to this abandoned warehouse and having a party. A large group of us wanted to trip. I agreed.
I was pissed off that I had gotten out of work so late, and therefore I was in a terrible mood.
I dropped at about 10:45ish on a Saturday night. Many people told me to think positively and to get in a better frame of mind so that I wouldn't have a bad trip. I tried my hardest.
After I dropped, we all went to the warehouse and parked our cars. I felt nothing.
I got out and walked around..at this point it was probably already 11:45 and still I felt nothing. I began wondering if I would feel anything off of this so-called 'great' hallucinogenic drug.
I felt a little nauseous so I sat in my car for a while. I put on the radio and lay back for a bit..some mild techno was playing on the stereo. I closed my eyes. Colors began appearing while my eyes were shut.. Swirling and transforming to the music..I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't move. My whole body felt stuck in this warped illusion that I was experiencing. I felt sick when I opened my eyes, so I simply lay back and kept my eyes shut while people wandered all about me and talked to me.. I could hear nothing, only the music that was playing in the background. The colors changed patterns every second, and the twists and turns amazed me and sent me into a psychadelic twist of phenomenal visuals that I could only see with my eyes shut. I felt as though I was stuck in a kaleidoscope that kept turning and turning and wouldn't stop.
It eventually became time to leave, and I was in no condition to drive. My friend 'P' drove to a hotel where we were all supposed to get a room. As the sun rose over the horizon, the sky looked purple and I remarked how beautiful everything seemed.
We all ended up in the Burger King parking lot at about 7:00 AM after being unable to retrieve the room we expected to get.
I looked at myself in the rear view mirror, feeling horribly ugly and disgustingly dirty. The trip had ended, but I still felt disconnected from reality and the world in general.
The whole next day was really the eye-opener:
Two of my friends and myself went back to my house at about 8:00 AM. We took a shower and did our make-up and got dressed. I still felt ugly as hell and disgusting. I noticed all of my imperfections and was dissatisfied with the way I looked altogether. I tried to correct the wrongness with my appearance; however, nothing seemed to work and we left my house and went to a local park. I felt extremely out of place. Not only did I wish I hadn't taken the drug, but I wished I was dead. I felt like I had no reason to be alive.
I didn't feel suicidal at the time, but I wanted the horrible reality that I was faced with to wear off. I felt like everybody was against me and like I was an outcast or an outsider.. Nobody understood exactly what I was feeling.
Eventually I took the two friends home and I returned to my abode. I lay down in my bed, and played Sublime - 40 Oz. To Freedom. I closed my eyes to a horrendous attack of visuals coming from all sides and every direction. I felt like I was stuck in a continuous movie. I remember seeing stop signs and furry animals and all kinds of unbelievable things that just kept popping up in coordinance with the songs that were playing. It was the only CD I wanted to hear.
Eventually I fell asleep (thank god) and woke up at about 7:00 PM. I went down to Burger King (where most of my friends at the time hung out) and nobody was there except my friend 'P'. I felt out of place, once again, and disconnected. I didn't want to be faced with all of these thoughts that were running through my head.. things like: Do they like me? Why am I here? How did I get here? What's wrong with me?.. basic questions that everybody asks, but I was thinking more on a general level rather than a universal level.
Two of my friends came into my car and we went to some party that was held in some kids backyard. However, his backyard was the size of a large industrial waste dump. And that's exactly what it looked like, except cleaned up and very homey.
I had just recently started hanging out with these people, and I still felt very uncomfortable sharing my thoughts with them..especially now that I was thinking crazy thoughts.
I drank some Cisco and I felt a little better, like I was more into what was going on around me..all of the talk and happiness about just hanging out sunk into me and I felt at home.
This kid that I started hanging out with, 'DM', arrived at the small get together. He had tripped with us the previous night also. I felt like he was the one I really needed to talk to about it all. I pulled him aside and asked him to meet me at Burger King after this small party was over. We met up there, and exchanged a few hello's.. we got into my car and started driving. I shared every single thought with him and he understood perfectly.
'DM' really helped me clean up my mind and at about 2 AM I went home feeling relieved as hell that the horror was finally over and like I could actually sleep without feeling self-conscious and guilty.
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