Citation: roadhouse. "Tearing Away the Surface of Reality: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (ID 16674)". Erowid.org. May 9, 2005. erowid.org/exp/16674
Date written: August 9, 2002
Date of experience: February 2002
First a little background on myself. I'm 22, male, about 5'10' and 165lbs. I live in central California. I smoke marijuana regularly, though not necessarily daily. I've done shrooms a few times, the last of which was about 3 years prior to trying salvia. I've tried lsd and ecstacy one time each with no effect. I also did Robitussin (DXM) a few times about 3 years ago. About a year ago I first tried salvia, but had no luck with only the liquid extract.
A recent acquaintance of mine mentioned that he had a bit of salvia left of the 10x grade. Although my friends reported nothing but horror stories (such as panicking and tearing clothes off), I was content with trying salvia for myself. I was already prepared to do it the first time, just didn't happen. So my friend brought the salvia around one day. I was at work and arrived just after another friend, who had never done salvia, had tried it. He reported pleasurable results. We were using a bong and a butane torch lighter. I brought my video camera along to capture the trip. I was completely sober when I arrived.
My friend filled the bowl of the bong, which seemed like a decent amount to me. There were 3 people present aside from myself. I took a first huge rip (I've got good lungs) keeping the torch lit and exhaled. I burned the remainder of the bowl in another huge rip and held it in. I remarked about the harsh smoke which felt very herbal obviously. After about 20 seconds I exhaled and a few seconds later the visuals began. I looked across the backyard we were in and the bushes seemed to be swirling together. At first it felt a bit shroomy. Noises in the street blended naturally into the wind which carried (seemingly literally) sound into the backyard, which gave way to voices coming from inside the house. They were singing a song to me. I could hear my name being called. Were they singing about me? I felt momentarily paranoid, as if I was being taunted by people I couldn't see through the window screen. They knew I was hallucinating. Were they fucking with me on purpose, or was I just imagining it? Was anyone there? The paranoia subsided quickly.
About a minute into the trip I was feeling very calm and open to all things. I was enjoying the visual and auditory hallucinations. My friend who had recently smoked the salvia was talking about his experience. He recalled a sense of something pulling at him, but I thought he was telling me to pull my face apart. Being very open to suggestion in this state, I proceeded to grab my lower jaw with one hand and wrapped my other hand around my head to grab my upper jaw from above. I took hold of my face and tore my head in half. I could feel my face peeling apart, but it didn't hurt. It merely tingled. By this point I was pretty disassociated and wasn't aware of any distinction between reality and my hallucinations. Even though I had just torn my own head off I felt perfectly calm, more than ever in my life. Luckily this calmness would last the rest of the trip.
I could still recognize my friends and my surroundings when I stood up. Apparently I stumbled a bit, as I had little control over my motor skills. I leaned against a post and soon felt that I was merging with the environment. I was becoming part of the house and my body was extending from the ground, as if I had grown there like a tree. I entended my arms and they merged with the empty airspace. I was becoming part of the fabric of reality. Soon I was unaware of the meaning of things. I could see the table, but had no idea what it was for, nor did I care. Two of my friends were gone, but I didn't realize that they were gone, that they had ever been there, or even that they existed. The pure calmness had overwhelmed me and I was left literally without a care in the world. I could still perceive most of my surroundings, but I recognize the significance of any object, person, sound, etc.
At the peak of the trip I was completely merged with the surface of reality. I felt like I was one with everything, yet unable to discriminate between an individual objects or occurences. Suddenly, though still completely calm, I looked up and saw the surface of reality extending into the space above me. Simultaneously I looked down and saw myself fused with reality, looking up in awe. I tured to my friend and asked him what was happening, to which he replied 'Oh, it's the end of the world.' I felt content in knowing this, as if this was the nature of reality. I felt that the end of existence was just supposed to happen right now, at that very moment. I was faced with total nonexistence, yet remained totally calm and satisfied. I looked up again at the surface of reality and ralized that it was being pulled or stretched by some force. It was as if the surface of reality was a sticker and someone was peeling it from the paper backing. My friend and I were at one corner of reality, the last part left stuck to the backing of existence. Finally I felt myself being torn away. The same tingling sensation that first came over me when I ripped my head in half was now filling my entire body (atleas the part tht I could distinguish was my body from the rest of my surroundings).
The tingling sensation became more intense and I felt that my entire being was being torn apart at a molecular level. It all felt so right, so perfect. My essence was entirely obliterated and suddenly I became aware of reality. It was as if someone flipped a switch and the trip was over. I still had mild hallucinations for a minute or two, but the drop from peak was abrupt, yet easy to handle. For about the next half hour I felt high, like I had just smoked some weed (which I hadn't).
I immediately reviewed the tape. I couldn't recall anything that had really happened after I stood up from the chair. I realized after the experience that the voices I heard taunting me from te window were just sounds from a childrens' television show. The tape showed me alternating between a huge grin and complete lack of expression. I would tilt my head back with my mouth open as if I was about the burst into laughter, then suddenly stare forward, blank and emotionless. Needless to say this was the most exhilarating experience of my life thus far. Now I recommend salvia to those interested, but I still stress caution. One should be informed thoroughly about the effects of salvia, as with any drug, before trying it. Complete destruction of reality is not an experience to be taken lightly and I'm sure not everyone could handle it.
Be prepared, be open, always use a sitter.
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