Citation: Meilikhios. "Weird and Boring Mood-Duller: An Experience with Methylone (exp16324)". Erowid.org. Jul 10, 2002. erowid.org/exp/16324
13h11 – 120mg of the stuff down the hatch. Go out heading for a public park.
13h20 – reach the park and start taking notes. Been somehow apprehensive sor far and a tinge nervous. Feel a slight alteration : +/- .5 ? This is not the park I wanted to be in so head to the subway.
13h30 – slightly stimulated. I’m hot, take off my sweatshirt. Subway drives. Handwriting definitely altered. Sitting in the train I want to move my body although I contain myself.
13h36 – The MDMA spark begins, starting to feel good, nervousness and apprehension disappear. Heartbeat faster. I feel the body and mind window of MDMA but without euphoria or joy. Just a clear-headed clean-bodied smooth glow. Not bad, very very smooth.
13h44 – get off the train several stations before reaching the park. Feel like walking and moving and need some fresh air ! It was too crowdy down there.
13h55 - Life in the city flows on ! Feel very centered and true but without the love-blaze of MDMA. So far so good. I wd say I’m at a +1.5/+2. Head and vision feel a bit spacey though, especially when I walk.
14h02 - Alternating good and depressive/threatening thoughts flowing in my mind. Feel a bit stoned. Set and setting are obviously much more important than with MDMA here. Less systematically good-lovey-joyful. Hmm… quitre introspective too…
14h13 - I eventually reach the park – curiously I feel a bit tired and very like lying down on a bench ! Trees, birds and plants, this is the best setting. I feel more relaxed now. Walking in a busy city seems to be no good for methylone !
Looking at trees fills me with joy. I don’t feel drugged out at all.
14h23 – The MDMA spark is pretty much gone now but I still feel methylone. It’s very much like an antidepressant really. Maybe I should have taken more than 120mg. Dry mouth and hot, better get something to drink.
14h26 – I feel like closing my eyes !
14h2? – a whining old man full of bad vibes passes by – eeeek !!!
What shd I do ? Lay down and relax or go get something to drink ? Feel lazy. Let’s be healthy and get something to drink.
14h40 – bought a can of lemon soda – was damn thirsty. I feel completely drab-mooded. Bored stiff ! This is like a slight dose of tramadol (a synthetic painkiller) but without euphoria and that alternatively makes me stoned and then restless. This is really drab :( !
14h45 – my little friends the sparrows taking a dust/earth bath were funny as always, drab crappy drug or not.
14h52 – still feeling lightbodied and bored. Ravens croaking are getting on my nerves – I wish I could shoot those damn ominous beasts !
14h54 – time to move on – public library ? let’s go !
14h57 – wow I reach the exit of the park, there are rows of bright coloured flowers of several colours and shapes, walking forward a bit my favourite flower of all : Heavenly Blue in full bloom. That really cheers me up ! I stick around a bit.
15h02 – this is weird – I barely feel anything anymore and yet I’m not baseline. Quite puzzling.
15h04 – reach the subway, the town is back :( !
15h09 – my eyelids are heavy and I feel a bit drowsy. Damn, an MDMA analogue that makes you want to to sleep ?! This is surprising for sure !
15h20 – still light-bodied and drowsy. A bit opiate-like but very subtle. I get off the train and take another one to another direction. Get on the train. Breathing is good and pleasurable. Pleasant opiate-like buzz in the body. I wish I could hug someone !
15h29 – from the subway to the library there’s WAY too much people there eech !!! I feel a bit assaulted by this crowdy agitation. Towns are just plain horrible and ugly, concrete and rocks everywhere. This really sucks. No wonder nowadays people stuff themselves with anxiolytics and antidepressants - nature is so much better, more beautiful quiet and peaceful than this filthy environnement ! Walking on the sidewalk and feeling the tar below my feet makes me depressed – cold dead lifeless loveless matter…
15h42 – in the library take 3 big colour books about French painter Henri Rousseau (aka Le Douanier Rousseau). Love his style : detailed intricate thriving tropical vegetation with animals or characters here and there. Still feel a bit drowsy but much less light-bodied than before. I yawn with tears going down as if I was waking up.
15h52 – I’m really yawning a lot – difficult to focus attention so I can’t read, just flip through images. Certain of them are really beautiful, a visual treat.
15h57 – I’m really bored and uninterested in my surroundings, still a bit drowsy and really yawning quite often. Writing is the only thing that seems interesting. Close my eyes and try to relax.
16h02 – breathing seems a bit depressed like with opiates.
16h07 – go have a slash.
16h15 – almost baseline, I must be at a +0.01 now ! Better go home and eat something ( I still haven’t eaten anuthing since this morning)
17h00 – almost there, I feel grumpy and antisocial ! Talk about an empathogenic socializing substance.
17h12 - at home try to eat a yogurt without much enthusiasm – pupils still moderately dilated and not completely baseline, methylone seems to come back.
18h05 – I seem to be stuck with an unending tramadol-like residue with a faint nausea. Eating is difficult although I’m hungry. This is quite confusing. I don’t have any hashish now unfortunately so I guess I’m going to unwind with 500 µg xanax.
I think this experience is best described as a hybrid between a dream and a waste of time.
I’m very disappointed with this experience because despite the slight dose negativity has largely dominated the whole picture. There’s no way in hell, this could be called mood-brightener. Mood-duller or Mood-darkener would be closer to the truth in my case. Basically it’s started out like an MDMA spark without joy or euphoria. Then 45min later this MDMA-like activity disappeared to give place to a curious slight buzz comparable both to tramadol or an SSRI. My mood was completely anesthesized, I couldn’t feel joy, I was disinterested with my surroundings, I was bored, everything was deprived of pleasure. In fact this experience has the hallmark of SSRI going on (I’ve used citalopram once so I know what it feels like) and I absolutely hated that. It was pure negativity : a faint fleeting nausea, drab bored uneasy mood, complete lack of interest for anything, restless and stoned at the same time, irritation to be with people, fleeting dysphoria, impotence, unable to focus on anything, yawns, dry mouth, in short the whole SSRI thing packed with a sensitized psychedelic tinge. There wasn’t the slightest bit of a dopamine release going on here unlike what I had read in the forensic literatture. It felt exactly how the Swiss biologist Claude Rifat described SSRI activity : “ […] SSRIs are in fact thymoanaesthetics [ie mood anesthetizers] , not authentic thymoanaleptics [ie mood lifters]. They block depression by suppressing or reducing feelings, euphoric or dysphoric, and you become a kind of satisfied zombie! “. This is exactly how I felt. Maybe with higher dose this horrible SSRI activity diminishes and it becomes more MDMA-like who knows ? But at that dose it was a boring, drab, dull, dysphoric waste of time. I didn't take the xanax eventually and i'm considering if i should or not. Empathogenic ? Yuh right ! Better stick to the real stuff : MDMA...
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