The best feeling I've ever had, that stole my life...
Citation: V. "The best feeling I've ever had, that stole my life...: An Experience with Nitrous Oxide (exp1556)". Erowid.org. Jun 4, 2001. erowid.org/exp/1556
I first discovered nitrous at a Reggae Fest with one of my good friends. We both had a big balloon, sat down in the grass, there were people around having fun, the sun was shining down on us and music playing. Everything was surrounding us with nothing but positive energy. Having never tried it I started with a quite small 'puff' the small feeling I had after only inhaling a such small amout was great. I felt slighly light headed and very happy!! I then wanted to try it in a more intense way, so I took the deepest breath posible in the ballon held my breath as long as possible and repeated for a second consecutive breath. My friend was sitting beside me and did the same thing... I then felt as if we were both alone -althought there was a whole lot of action going on around us. I don't really remember us saying anything to each other, we'd just laugh together and feel like we were on the top of the world...
The trip doesn't last very long and only having one balloon each, the great feeling soon ended. But I was NOT going to forget about that great feeling so soon...Years went by and I'd still talk about that GREAT trip we had me and my friend, but never had the opportunity to get any again. I knew you could get a hight from wipped cream cylinders. Tried once or twice, maybe I wasn't doing it right, but I never had any trip doing it that way so I just 'forgot' about it until...I graduated from college last year, wich provided me with a great job in a hospital. The job I have lets me get in contact with the whole anesthesia machine. On which Nitrous is available at various concentrations (always at least 20% O2).
One day, I couldn't help myself from trying a little hit of Nitrous -my long lost love I had mised over the years. The operations for the day were finished and my shift was done, I had just finished setting everything up for the next day. Everybody was gone so I thought lets try it just to see if it's like I once experienced.... Obviously the experience was as good as the first. (I must say it was A LOT more fun the first time tought not being alone and the hole circomstance completly different) The nice rush and freedom feeling was still there. I found myself taking a puff or two now and then when I knew I wasn't getting any patients for a while, sometimes even spending a whole hour taking some.
I had many strong experiences of hallucinations that I had never had before. They'd be so intense but wouldn't always feel right cause I knew I was doing something wrong. For example I'd feel as if there were other presences in the room with me (kind of like angels) I'd find myself talking to myself (I'm not even sure if I was really talking or just hallucinating myself talking...) cause I thought there were other people around. Just the thought of taking a 'puff' would make my heart pound and I could feel the blood rushing throught my veines. I would have given anything just to bring a bunch of Nitrous filled ballons home so I could share the experience with friends in a intelligent place and not feel the guilt I felt everytime I did it at the hospital.
I just wish I would have been able to take control and not do it anymore. I had enough one day and told my boss about it which cost me my job...the job I have been working on to get all of my life. Now, I feel completely devestated but I still hope one day I'll find out where I can get a tank and take some at home to relax in a absolutely safe and responsible way. But until then I have to live with the bad news I learned today (the lost of my job)and try to figure out what I'm going back to school to study in.. I just hope I can open some peoples eyes and make them think before they take any type of drug. I now know that there is a time and a place for those type of things.
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