Citation: Eh-Empty. "The Bird Shaman: An Experience with AMT (exp14906)". Erowid.org. May 25, 2002. erowid.org/exp/14906
||(powder / crystals)
(Note: I began writing this report 13+ hours after ingesting 80mg of AMT. Some parts of this report are very hard to recall, as time was severely distorted and for other reasons explained in further detail later, but I have attempted to explain everything as clearly as possible. Please do not assume that 80mg is a safe dosage just because I had positive results. AMT is a research chemical and very little is known about it. Although I don’t regret it in the least bit, you may not be as lucky as I was.)
A friend of mine had recently acquired a reliable connection for AMT (Alpha-methyltryptamine, IT-290). He and another friend had taken 40mg each, with similar results, much like the effects encountered in other reports at the same dose. After hearing of their results from the substance, I was very eager to experience it for myself. I had used a variety of different substances (marijuana, methamphetamine, dextromethorphan, etc) but this was to be my first full-blown hallucinogenic experience.
Two weeks after my friends had used the AMT, I decided to try a 40mg dose at the same friend’s house, hoping to get similar effects as those that my friends had explained to me. After waiting 5+ hours with minimal results, I was quite disappointed. To this day, I’m still not sure why the dosage didn’t work properly. I had not eaten anything for a day in preparation and was in a good mind set for the night. Also, this batch was from the same that my friends had used and measured exactly the same, so I know quality/quantity was not an issue. Still, the only things that I experienced were hot and cold flashes, a bit of a speedy feeling, and slight euphoria. Needless to say, I was ready to try again; this time, with a much higher dose.
Four days following the prior attempt, I decided to try AMT again, this time doubling the previous dosage of 40mg, for a total of 80mg. Before I proceed, I must warn any readers that an 80mg dose of AMT is quite high, even for experienced users of the substance. This dosage is definitely NOT recommended for anyone, no matter the experience. We had previously concluded that the pills I purchased might have contained only half of what they were supposed to have had. This was definitely not true as I would find out later, but this was the reasoning behind continuing with such a high dose.
I decided that this attempt would be at my home, during the day, because my friends had both said that taking it during the night might have made it slightly scarier. This setting seemed ideal, as I would be very comfortable and familiar with my surroundings in the case that anything unexpected began happening. Also, only my brother would be at home during this time, and he wouldn’t mind. I had researched AMT extensively for weeks before this, so I knew what I was getting into. In anticipation, I set my alarm clock for exactly 6:00 AM on a Wednesday morning.
I awoke at approximately 6:03 AM, with 80mg of AMT patiently awaiting me. I prepared a large cup of water and ingested the AMT at exactly 6:15 AM. It may be worth mentioning that I had not eaten for a day prior to this, just in case. I was not on any medications at this time.
To pass the time, I played Sonic Adventure 2 Battle for the Nintendo GameCube. At approximately 7:15 AM (one hour after ingestion), I was in the process of battling a ghost boss in the game. I was noticing some mild nausea at this time, but thought I had it under control. During this time, the only bad part of the experience occurred: The ghost hit my character in the game. Immediately, fluorescent green vomit spewed from my mouth like a fountain. When I say fluorescent, I am not exaggerating. The effects had not set in at this time (only an hour after ingestion) so I know this color description is accurate. It almost seemed radioactive or neon. I could not hold in the vomit as I ran to the bathroom, and it went all over the floor of my room, hallway, bathroom, and on my foot. I puked around 5 times, then the nausea passed as quickly as it had appeared. I cleaned up everything, now slightly anxious as to whether or not the substance had been given time to be absorbed into my system.
Soon after this, at around 7:45 AM, I no longer had any worries as to if the AMT had been absorbed or not. I had since turned off the game, lay on my mattress, and turned on a compilation CD of several bands I like. I noticed an impressive increase in euphoria and energy, both very positive effects. Every 20 seconds or so, something in the corner of my eye would catch my attention and I would turn to see what it was. Most of the time, I just passed it off as the placebo effect and/or anticipation of visuals. However, one time I turned and saw an empty clear, plastic videocassette case lying on the ground about 3 feet away, slightly opened. This time, I knew something was definitely different about it, but I couldn’t identify exactly what was so odd about it. Just out of curiosity, I stared at the seemingly normal case for about 10 seconds. Slowly, the case began opening and closing on its own. Though a very minor visual disturbance, this was very interesting and exciting to me at the time. I continued watching this same case for around 2 more minutes, very intrigued by its movements.
I soon came to the exciting realization that perhaps other objects would behave in the same manner. Without having any other objects in mind, I quickly looked away from the case and noticed two pillows on the carpet, perpendicular to one another. This time I didn’t have to wait to see anything. One pillow had a pillowcase with an alternating gray and dark gray pinstripe pattern. The other was a light orange-brown tint with white seashells on it. The pinstriped pillow began melting into the other pillow. The other simply sat there, almost alive, engulfing the enemy pillow with splendid indifference. I watched this for a minute or so.
I turned my head and noticed that most of the room had come alive as well. The ceiling was dripping and running into the corners of the walls, a pile of clothes shifted and warped around the floor, and my mattress stretched and shrank slowly. I specifically remember seeing several shadows on the wall. They were all horizontal lines, moving up and down across the wall. I didn’t think anything of this, assuming it was the light coming in through the window and hitting my blinds on my window. Soon, though, I realized that shadows don’t rapidly scroll up and down walls, bouncing into one another.
At this time, everything else in the room was, at least, experiencing some sort of movement. I watched this beautiful dance of normally inanimate objects for quite some time. I was shocked when I looked at the clock and noticed it had been nearly 15 minutes. Most people report time moving very slow due to AMT. While I noticed this later, time now seemed to be speeding along happily.
It had been almost an hour since I vomited (about 8:00 AM now) and I felt unbelievably wonderful. Colors seemed more brilliant and vibrant now, and the music was amazing. No matter the song that was currently playing, it was, according to my brain, the greatest song I had ever heard and would ever hear – that is, until the next song began J. In a bizarre way, I could “hear” silence between the songs. There was no sound, but I could hear the “nothingness” of it very clearly. This is very hard to clarify and is much better experienced than explained.
Some time around 8:30 AM, I attempted to use my computer. This failed miserably. Not because I couldn’t control the mouse or type (in fact, I feel that all my fine motor skills were perfectly intact), but because those damned letters kept running away from my eyes. I gave up on this about fifteen minutes later and continued listening to the music.
I believe I was listening to “Cynic” by Local H when I decided to close my eyes. Every time the bass drum was hit, I felt as if a nail had been pounded into my spine. Of course, there was no actual physical pain, although I knew there should have been.
I opened my eyes again after the song had ended and saw that my room had become a sea of chaos and distortion. I couldn’t focus on anything. Basically, because nothing would stay still long enough for me to focus on it. I knew I had not even reached the peak yet (only a few hours into it) and had no idea what to expect next.
At roughly 9:00 AM, I saw a yellow wrapper from Whataburger lying on the carpet from the previous day. Everything surrounding the wrapper turned pitch black and the wrapper started to pulsate and blink. First, it became a luminous gold color. The gold promptly faded into a brilliant white hue that nearly blinded me. After about 5 seconds, this went away. At this instant, standing in the place of the small wrapper was a small creature, with which I would become very close during the remainder of the experience.
The creature was approximately 1 foot tall and 1 foot wide – a shaman with the face of a bird. On his short, round body, he wore an oversized, dark gray cloak. The sleeves reached down past his hands (which I never saw) and dragged behind him as he walked. Actually, the bird shaman did not walk, he slowly dragged/limped around, indifferent to my presence. His face was similar to that of an eagle. His head was pasty white and he had three large yellow feathers sticking out on either side of his head, serving as whiskers. I was not afraid or at all startled by the bird shaman. In fact, he was welcome in my room, which by now was a large Greek temple made from marble. He paced about the temple, seeming to contemplate something. I felt very sorry for the bird shaman, as he seemed to be very troubled at the time.
Before long, he noticed me. He stopped pacing and turned towards a blue milk cap lying close to him. The sage raised his hand and closed his eyes. He lifted his hand and the milk cap levitated above the ground, maybe a foot or two high. I was very amused by this and wished to learn this great spell. As soon as I had this thought, the bird shaman “taught” the skill to me. He never spoke or interacted with me in any way, but I felt as though he had passed the skill on to me. I looked at a CD case on the carpet and imitated the bird shaman as closely as I possibly could. I raised my hand and concentrated on the case, then raised my hand slowly. The CD case twitched slightly then rose brilliantly into the air, even higher than the milk cap that the bird shaman had levitated.
At this point, I felt enlightened: as though I had possessed this skill my entire life, but did not know how to correctly use it. I thanked the bird shaman without speaking to him and he nodded approvingly. I spent the next hour using my newfound skill on nearly every object I could find in the temple. With ease, I levitated (among other things) books, papers, cups, my GameCube, the TV, and even a large rocking chair. The bird shaman continued meditating, praying, pacing, and casting spells this entire time. Even when I looked away from him for minutes at a time, he was still there and had continued performing whatever action he had been doing when I looked away. Not once during this entire time did the bird shaman disappear or return to being a cheeseburger wrapper. He never acknowledged me after I learned the spell from him, which made me somewhat disappointed, as I felt he had more to teach his eager student.
At some point during this period, there is an unexplained void in time and my awareness. Although I don’t believe I ever became unconscious, I have no explanation or memory of what happened for the next 2 hours. In a way, I seemed to “awaken” at some point, although I was sitting up already with my eyes open. It is very difficult to explain, as I had never heard of this or experienced it before then.
I was surrounded in white note cards, all with things written, scribbled, or drawn on them. Most of the cards are barely legible. The ones that are make no sense whatsoever. Nearly every note card has something to do with the bird shaman or the phrase, “it is.” This is scrawled consistently on almost every card, but I have no idea what it meant and no memory of writing it or thinking about it. I was definitely moving around during this lapse in memory, because the cards were almost always sitting on or next to what they were explaining or describing. I collected nearly 20 cards throughout the next 10 minutes, and was still finding more as the day went on. While I attempted to decipher what each card meant, the AMT was still in full effect. Everything was just as lively as before, but having a bird shaman walking around in my temple and seeming to have been unconscious, I had no interest in something as “simple” as a moving wall or spinning shoes.
The bird shaman was still as he was 2 hours before, pacing about the temple and going about his business. I left him to do as he pleased and wandered into the bathroom for some reason. As I turned on the light, I finally remembered I had to urinate. After this, I looked into the mirror and saw my pupils. They were so dilated that I could barely see the whites [sic] of my eyes. I looked like some sort of alien. I decided to shut the bathroom door stare and turn off the light. Even with the lights off, I could see my reflection perfectly. Although I was quite aware that this likeness currently gawking at me was a reflection of myself, my brain continuously attempted to reject this notion. I gazed intently at my face in the mirror as it shifted and morphed. When I would make any sort of facial movement, a cartoon-like sound effect would accompany it. For instance, if I winked, a “ting!” sound reverberated throughout the bathroom. Likewise, if I smiled, a long “shwooooop!” was heard. For each movement, there was a distinct, unique sound to go with it.
While still looking into the mirror, I noticed my face begin to change forms. At first, my extremely dilated pupils turned crimson red and acquired what I perceived as an “evil shine.” I opened my mouth and had short, jagged teeth and a very long tongue that stretched below my chin. I looked like a spawn of hell, but had no fear of the reflection. In fact, I enjoyed it very much.
As I continued to stare at the reflection, my face shifted into that of Julius Caesar. I could effortlessly change my face at will, which I did frequently. Of those I remember, I transformed into: Adolph Hitler, Shrek (from the children’s movie), the Hamburgler from McDonalds, Osama bin Laden, a strange square-headed robot, and other historical figures and creatures. This was very amusing and I spent nearly 20 minutes watching my reflection change.
Time seemed to have sped up, yet seemed to have slowed down to a screeching halt at the same time (this is difficult to express in words). If I thought about something in the past, time seemed to be going very fast at the time of the event I was thinking about. However, present time lagged along very slowly. I eventually abandoned keeping up with the time at around 10:30 AM, after I left the bathroom.
The next few hours are a blur and I can only recall bits and pieces. I returned to my room and put on a new CD and basically just watched the intense visuals morph, swirl, twist, melt, warp, transform, and move about while the bird shaman walked around the temple casting spells and meditating. This was a very enjoyable time and I remember thinking that I never wanted to return to reality. I was content being with the bird shaman, and he seemed at peace now.
At some point, I wandered into the living room where my brother was sleeping on the couch. I levitated a nearby sock with ease. I no longer had to move my hands or concentrate at all; I just had to will it to occur. I felt extremely powerful and kept hoping that I would keep this ability, even after the AMT had worn off (although I knew deep down that it was the chemical allowing me to do this). At some point, my brother awoke and saw me standing there. I can’t imagine how I must have looked to him: staring at a sock in the floor with intense concentration, smiling broadly, with nearly fully dilated eyes. He tried to look like he was still asleep and didn’t see me, but I was aware that he was awake. I looked over at him and he gave me a “what the hell?” kind of look. I laughed and retreated back to the temple.
I continued to levitate things in the company of the bird shaman for the rest of the peak, until approximately 3:30 PM (more than 9 hours!). Even as I knew I was coming down, and the visuals had begun fading, I could still see the bird shaman walking about. I hoped that he would stay forever. However, I knew the end was near.
By this time, my brother had gotten up and entered the room (it had since reverted back to my normal room). I was acting very strange which prompted the questions, “What are you doing? What did you take?” I don’t remember my responses, but I know I didn’t tell him anything. Soon he noticed that I was staring at the bird shaman (a yellow fast food wrapper to him) and became somewhat irritated at my altered state. He kept trying to grab “him,” but I’d stop his efforts as soon as he got near the shaman. Shortly thereafter, the bird shaman looked extremely weary and miserable. He got on his knees, kneeled forward with his head on the ground and began praying. I knew the bird shaman’s time was nearly up in this plane of existence. This depressed me for quite sometime afterwards. In fact, I still get somewhat sad thinking of the scene in my head now.
I decided to call my friend (who had previously taken AMT) after talking to him for a few minutes on AIM. After I told him that I could do basically anything I thought of doing, he began telling me things to do. My brother had recently shaved his head bald, and my friend told me to make his hair grow back. I knew this would be a piece of cake as I got up to go to my brother. As soon as I saw him, his hair was back as normal. It never had to grow back at all.
After I was off the phone, I went back into my room. Sure enough, the bird shaman was still there. I was overjoyed that he was still here. I turned on the GameCube and began playing again. I had some thoughts that perhaps the bird shaman was here to stay for a while longer, after all. Sadly, when I wasn’t looking, my brother grabbed the wrapper and tore it into two pieces. From this moment on, the bird shaman ceased to exist. Now I only saw two ripped up pieces of a yellow wrapper on the ground. I had no feelings toward these pieces of wrapper now that they were normal again. When I discovered that he had ripped it in half, I felt overwhelmed with rage and resentment. It was as if my own mother had died before my very eyes. Although I was extremely saddened, I could do nothing.
For the remainder of the day, I slowly came down. After the bird shaman had perished, I could no longer levitate anything. Although this saddened me, I knew it would happen sooner or later and accepted it. The visuals were still quite strong as I talked to the other friend that had taken AMT for around an hour and a half.
The day after, I had a moderate headache but it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. Because of the trisma (jaw clenching), I also had some light soreness for the day after. During the experience, I did notice extreme hot and cold flashes, but only for the first few hours. At one time, my lower body was extremely hot, but my upper body and head were freezing.
Currently, it is two days after I ingested the AMT, and I still notice slight shifting in objects, especially those with any type of pattern on them (sheets, pillow cases, the floor, etc). I believe this may be attributed to my dosage (or unlikely - a bad reaction), as I have never heard of this happening to others. However, I expect that they will be gone very soon (still fading day by day), and they are still enjoyable. For those reading, this is nothing to be alarmed about. They are not as pronounced now, easily ignored, and very controllable.
I should also note that, at no time during this experience, did I ever feel worried, frightened, nervous, or believe things were getting out of control. I could almost completely stop the visuals at almost anytime I wanted (with the exception of mild shifting and melting). Also, I must say that describing AMT-induced visuals is not an easy task whatsoever. The entire time (if your experience is at all similar to mine), your subconscious will immediately recognize that anything you see is definitely not real and is not happening in reality. However, your brain does not immediately alert you to this. Most likely, you will not see anything that you accept as actually happening. The strange thing is that you simply don’t think about this at all. In other words, you will know that the hallucinations are not real, but your brain doesn’t continually pronounce this to you. Therefore, you simply notice it and accept it as it is, without questioning anything. You are aware of what is happening, but unaware at the same time. You may see things that are quite strange or frightening normally, but you will not be afraid because of this. I hope that at least a few can understand what I mean by this.
Another interesting thing to note is that during the entire experience, I felt as though I could have appeared normal to any unknowing person, minus the dilation of my pupils. My thinking seemed unchanged, as well as my motor skills, balance, appearance, etc. The only changes I experienced (besides euphoria) seemed to be completely in perception. If the visuals were to have stopped at any point, I would have felt the same as I did before I took the AMT. In my opinion, this is a very positive effect. As I was speaking on the phone with my friend, almost directly after the peak, he said I sounded normal. My brother also noticed nothing until I began staring at things. :) Still, do not construe this into thinking that one can appear perfectly ordinary in a public (or private) setting. Do not, for any reason, take AMT in an environment that could require interacting with anyone that you wouldn’t want to know.
Overall, this was most likely the greatest day of my life. I would recommend AMT to anyone that feels that they can handle the things I have described above in detail and would like a fulfilling, very visual experience. However, please do not take 80mg as I did. Very bad things may happen to you. You could become very frightened, hospitalized, or even worse. Be extremely careful. As always, it goes without saying that you should always have someone with you who can help in the case of any emergency.
With that said, I thank you greatly for your patience in reading this lengthy report. I hope you have learned a thing or two about AMT, or at least enjoyed reading my report. Stay safe and good luck!
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