Where Am I?... Whats Happening?
Citation: Fa11. "Where Am I?... Whats Happening?: An Experience with Ketamine (exp14895)". Erowid.org. Feb 7, 2019. erowid.org/exp/14895
My first ketamine experience
I am a 17 year old living in a small town in the north west of England. There isnt a lot of things to do round here, so a lot of people do drugs to pass time by, and it isnt hard to get my hands on a few drugs, including Ecstasy, Amphetamine, Cocaine, Cannabis (Soap bar hash, grass and skunk) and other things such as shrooms are abundant in the autumn, and I can pick up salvia and other legal highs from a shop at the bottom of my road. I've tried all of the above more than once and I've also had a few experiences with nutmeg. I take no medication, and we had made no preperation for the night, we just planned to have a good night. And a new experience. The setting was my bedroom, with cushions and a mattress on the floor
I remember once not so long ago when I percieved ketamine as a drug for some of the lesser respected people of my town, 'horse tranx, yummy' I used to joke with my friends.
It started last friday night evening, I'd been reading some of the experience reports about it and found it quite interesting, all this happenend quite secretly, as some of my friends have a perfect image to maintain, and would be very dissapointed to be friends with someone who gets his kicks out of snorting animal tranquilisers. I have one friend who has no problem with that kind of thing, and is quite psychologically compatable with me, he agreed to try it as soon as I mentioned it, and from there we announced it to some of my other closeish friends, none of them wanting to do it, claiming it was dirty, but had no problem with us doing it.
It was about 8pm when we picked up the gram for £25, and then we slowly made our way back to my house where we would be planning on entering the all new realm of dissasociatives. We stopped to have a joint on the walk back, and a police man almost walked right up to us if we hadnt of moved fast and headed for home, when we saw him he was about 30 foot away, it was getting dark though, and we wernt called back for looking suspicious or anything. So, we smoked the joint and got back to my house, as we got in my room the mirror immediatly came off the wall and went on the floor and we started crushing the ket into a fine powder to insufflate.T (one of my best friends) and I were unsure of how big the lines should be, so we rang an experienced k-tripper and he told us to split the gram into 8 lines, and do it that way. We thought 'thats like 4 lines each' it won't last us a night, so we just started making small lines, I'd guess they were about 3cm long and about 1/2 a cm wide, it would be hard for me to give an accurate dosage as we didnt have anything to measure it with. A roled up £10 note proved helpful for getting the powder into our bodies, and I lay down on my bed waiting for the effects to hit me.
Well, 5 minutes passed, and then another 5, I started feeling slightly different after 15 minutes and after 25 my vision looked different, but nothing impressive at all, so we prepared another line, this time with my other best friend announcing he would try it if we would spare him a line. So we all snorted the white powder and then sat for a few minutes waiting for it to work its magic.
Well, it became apparant I was having a little trouble focusing on anything, not too much, but if I just sat there and watched something, my vision would become slightly blurred. I felt dopey, and happy that I was in an altered state of mind, but it was nothing to write home about. My other best friend M had recieved much better effects than I had off just one line, and T was definately a little more intoxicated than I was, which annoyed me momentarily, and I began thinking they were faking it, definately not normal behaviour for me. M and my little brother (who had dropped 3 E's) went to the shop while he came up, and M was pretty wasted, random giggles and a lot of 'how weird is this' stuff, so me and T went downstairs to see if we could see the planets alligned, but no such luck. We then went back upstairs and proceeded to have another line. Once again I snorted, and awaited the onset, already in a slightly intoxicated mood. We started watching a movie 'Friday' which is about 2 black teens who smoke pot that they're meant to be selling. My vision started to blur again and up I went again, a little further than the last time.
I had this really fucked up thought, when watching the movie, that when 'Smokey' toked the joint, he pulled funny faces when inhaling, and I percieved this as something that would make the movie more appealing to me, now I'm intoxicated. You know, you watch movies of people doing drugs, and they act like what they think it would be like to be on that drug, but in fact its not, well I thought they were acting like that because they were actually doing the drugs and acting really stupid to make me laugh, if that makes any sense at all. Well, more lines were prepared, and then ingested, I think we got 25 lines out the gram, While M visited the hole after his 4th line, T and I kept going, until we had our 8th line.
By now I was starting to get in a nice head space, and thinking differently than normal, but was becoming continually frustrated that my tolerance to the drug was a little higher than that of my friends, so, I decided to try and reach the hole with a mad ass line. I poured the rest of the powder out of the baggy, and split it into 2 equal piles, one for me and one for T. I prepared a line that was about 5 or 6 times bigger than the lines we had been doing, and then moved the powder to show my nickname and sat back looking with great excitement and fear at the amount that was about to be snorted up my rolled £10 note. By now I was feeling quite run down, and had absolutly no ideas as to how this would affect me. I declared that I would snort only the two first letters and lowered my head, holding the tube over the powder. I started inhaling at a medium pace and manouvered the tube. Up, down, up, down and then all the way round the circlular 'O' I exhaled carefully and then in a another fast inhale I snorted the other 2 letters, with a third inhale for everything I had missed.
'What the hell, all in one' I thought. And then the burning began, tears rolling down my scrunched up face as I pressed the right side of my nose to try and help the pain, after about 25 seconds I was able to comment on how much it hurt, and everyone on ecstacy showered me with congratulations and other various loved up comments, T looked with a grin on his face, and M... Well he was curled up in a ball deep in the hole, 'I'll see you soon' I thought. The people on e moved with great speed and efficiancy as they made room for me on the bed and I lay there, repeatedly saying 'ooh, the anticipation'. The anticipation indeed.
The first effects were a very defined double image after about 4 minutes, as if I was cross eyed, but something more than before, it was very pronounced, and intruiging, then my hearing changed, as if I had two 30 foot drain pipes on either ear, like a very mechanical echo to every noise. Gravity became more apparant, and I gave in and lay down, staring at the roof of my room, 'what the fuck' I said, but no one seemed to hear me, and I let out a nice big 'I'm fucked' sigh. I could make out clearly what everyone was saying, it just made no sense though
I could make out clearly what everyone was saying, it just made no sense though
, and then I slowly floated away. I can't remember whether I hallucinated or not, I can just recall thinking 'where am I?... Whats happening? Wait... WHO AM I!?'. I believe you do not respect the meaning of the word 'Fucked' until you have visited the hole, it is like nothing else I have experienced before, completly remarkable. I remember everything just spinning and moving around, and I had my eyes open the whole time, but I wasnt paying attention to my vision, just this amazing headspace I was in. I discovered many amazing truths about myself and life, and loved every second of it. I remember hearing my dogs barking and me thinking that the police were outside, I warned everyone and they shot over to the window, just to witness the cloudy black sky, and an orange glowing ghost like street. No police vehicles, no police officers, nothing. I couldnt believe any of them, even though they were a tad sober compared to me. I didnt even recognise any of them, but I was quite unable to move, and also quite shocked that I had communicated so easily, after knowing that I could'nt. I tried to speak again, but no such luck. A sober friend, S, stood over me with a huge grin on his face, I was feeling overwhelmingly content, like I could'nt even be bothered to look at him, I just stared upwards.
This went on for an eternity, I remember some friends from college entering the room, and a few other small things, and 45 minutes after insufflation took place in real time, reconnection occured. I jerked my back up like a catapult and managed to get a 'what the fuck' out, in sheer disbelief of what had just happened. I slowly lowered my back down onto the bed again and drifted in and out of k space for the next 30 minutes, and my friends carried me into my brothers room, which was dark and empty except for M, who had been pulled out of the hole by now, he greeted me and we both lay on the bed. I remember him talking at me while I sneezed and sneezed, expecting my nose to explode or something. Everytime I sneezed, it was like being thrown through some kind of mental barrier, the inhale pulling me back, and then the sneeze thrusting me forwards through a wall, leaving me in a shocked sort of state. I cant remember how long I was in my bro's room, but I remember eventually getting up and somehow getting back in my room, with the calm greetings of my friends. I just stood there holding a pillow tightly against my chest, feeling like absolute shit, and then lay down on my bed again. I felt as if I had been reborn, like every experience prior to this one was irrelevent. It was as if my memory was clouded, like I could'nt remember whether or not I owned certain albums. I attempted to sleep but that took me a good few hours, and still felt awful the next day.
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