Citation: melanie. "Do Not Underestimate It's Power: An Experience with Morning Glory (Heavenly Blue) (exp14595)". Erowid.org. Apr 1, 2005. erowid.org/exp/14595
This has been one of the worst experiences of my life. This is not because I had a 'bad trip', but because the physical effects the seeds had on my body.
I really did not know what to expect because I had never tried any hallucinogins before. I smoke pot occasionally and drink, that is about it. After reading that this trip was somewhat milder than acid or shrooms, I decided to give it a go. I was still somewhat wary of them because I am manic-depressive and didnt want to flip out. I can say that I looked forward to coming to some sort of inner-peace or epiphany. . . So I guess I expected too much.
I began by purchasing several packets of seeds from a local nursery. I washed them with liquid laundry detergent and cold water, then let them air dry. I planned on taking them later that night, so in preparation I cleaned my room and then took a long bath to relax. At about 10:30pm, I ground the seeds in a coffee grinder, making sure not to let them get hot because I heard heat destroys the lsa. I then combined the ground seeds with apple-sauce of about equal quantities. Some of the seed was ground very fine (like a powder), but some were larger chunks. I brought the mixture up to my room along with a bottle of water and some dried fruit to eat later. I had a fairly full stomach, which I assumed would lessen any nausea I would have. I was very wrong.
It was about 11:10pm when I began to eat the mush, chewing the larger pieces in my mouth, and finished at about 11:20pm. I turned on some pink floyd, and in an attempt to relax begain to give myself a foot massage and put on lotion. I started to feel slightly nauseous almost instantly after eating the seeds, but told myself that I was psyching myself out and it was all in my head. But the nausea was very real. I assumed that I just needed to wait it out for about an hour, and then I would be fine, but the nausea just intensified.
About an hour later I was suffering from intense nausea and just tried to lay down in a position that didnt hurt too bad. I tried singing to myself to get my mind off of the nausea, but it didnt help. I went to the bathroom countless times that night in vain. I did not throw up. I have always had problems throwing up. . . The last time I threw up was when I was 9 years old and I havent since. This is worse because they say throwing up makes you feel better. I thouroghly regretted ever taking those seeds.
The rest of my experience is probably very choppy because I kept flitting in and out of conciousness. These are not necessarily in chronological order.
I just wanted to sleep through the pain but kept waking up. I could feel my pupils dilating, then getting smaller, etc. On one of my bathroom breaks I looked in the mirror and my pupils were shaking and the size was fluctuating. . .big, small, big, bigger, small, big, etc. This was really freaking looking because I have really big eyes and looked fucking peaked, scared, and crazy. I felt a loss of balance and almost similar to being drunk. I stumbled around. The clock kept moving forward, but the nausea would not abate. I had visuals but no odd colors or hallucinations. Everything seemed louder and sharper sounding. When I was laying in bed my legs seemed really far away and I felt disconnected from my body. I felt like I was a small soul lost in a huge body (somewhere behind my eyes.) My body was very heavy and the ceiling and walls seemed very far away. As I laid down in bed I felt like I was sunk deep in my pillow and my bed. I guess my depth perception was fucked up. But I was by no means comfortable. All night long I felt nausea. I wanted to just sleep through it--whatever trip I would go on, I did not care, it just wasnt worth it! But it was really hard to sleep. My thoughts were random, nothing scary. I remember shaking.
Every now and then my jaw would start convulsing or shaking and wake me up. Once my whole body convulsed, but one time it was not bad because I had a vaginal contraction similar to orgasm. So I decided to try to masturbate. (I figured the seeds would intensify my orgasm because of the muscle contration thing I talked about. Not to mention after masturbating I basically get knocked out and fall asleep very quickly and deeply.) So anyway, I tried but couldnt get off. . . Again I tried to fall back asleep. My jaw was shaking all through the night.
I remember waking up scared. I couldnt see right and my vision was really fucked up, everything was shaking and there were weird lights in my eyes. It was about 4-5 hours after ingestion and I wondered if I would ever see or feel normal again. I told myself it would just pass and to stop worrying until I flitted out of consciousness again. I wanted to die, I felt like shit. My whole body was exhausted and I had pains in all my extremities. I felt poisoned and stupid. Why stupid? Well, because all this pain I had put upon myself! I wouldnt wish that on my worst fucking enemy. Now I know why the stupid shit is legal--because to most people it is a bad experience that they will not want to go through again. I just wanted to feel normal again.
Tossing. . .turning. . .pain. . .disorientation--that was my night.
The next day I attempted to eat at about 10:00am (almost 12 hours after first ingesting the seeds) I was still semi-nauseous but the bagel I ate helped a little. I stumbled around the house in a stupor that morning, trying to just look normal ( I live with my parents) I then gave up and went back to bed. I slept more until about 7:00pm that evening.
I still felt weak and couldnt move or walk very fast. I left any talking I had to do to a minimum. *remember now, this was about 18 hours after ingestion!!* I still felt weird and wondered why I hadnt shitted the seeds out yet. I attempted to go to the bathroom many times but couldnt. Eventually I did, with some trouble. This is very uncommon to me because im vegan, and all that fiber makes digestion alot 'healthier' if you know what I mean.
Right now it is about 10pm, almost 24 hours after I ate those stupid seeds, and I still feel a little weak and uncomfortable. Only 3 hours ago did my vision even begin to go back to normal.
This experience has taught me not to fuck with substances and never to underestimate the power of it. Everyone deals with chemicals differently, but I know I am not the only one who has had a bad experience with it. If you want to try the seeds, that is up to you. But I would recommend trying an extraction because of the extreme and long lasting nausea I felt. Im not sure if I tripped, or if it is possible to sleep through a trip. . .either way I dont care! I am just glad to get those seeds out of my body. I felt poisoned.
Just thinking about the seeds, the pulp, or the applesauce, makes me want to fucking vomit! I feel physically sick. . . I can almost taste it! Yuck. Anyways, I respect the power now, and in the future will not fuck with it. This makes me rethink even shrooms or acid, because if any part of what I felt last night was tripping, I did not like it. I vaguely remember pain, headache, convulsions, etc. It was not pleasurable in the least. But if you still want to try morning glory, good luck. If you have a good experience, more power to you. But me. . .I think im gonna plant the rest of these bad boys.
All in all it was really glad, but it feels really good to be back to normal. There does not exist instant happiness in a substance that you will not pay for later. I take what I have, and make the best of it. So in a way I did learn from it.
'Cultivate your garden' (Voltaire, 'Candide')
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