Citation: Robigus. "The Terror of Enlightenment: An Experience with Datura (exp14477)". Erowid.org. May 7, 2002. erowid.org/exp/14477
Datura, Jimson Weed, Devil's Weed - a powerful substance that no person should ever have to harness mentally. It will punish you feverently and without sympathy for treading into its territory. It will laugh as it blends the terrors of your imagination with your everyday life. It is complete delerium. A momentary detachment from all that is real and true (at least how we perceive such things). If you're able to stay concious and remember the experience, you will not be able to distinguish between your fabricated projections and the solid world that dominates our every day lives. It is brutal enlightenment.
... if you are to truly be punished by her, then it will control your mind, body and soul. You will awaken bruised, cut, battered and confused. Worst of all, you'll not even be able to recall the things it showed you. Most likely some very important things, too.
Do not try Datura unless you are willing to take responsibility for the most intense and unexpected actions of your person. Do not take it unless you are prepared for the utter intensity of the void. Do not take it unless you are willing to risk leaving this place forever.
Being an experienced tripper and having done most hallucinatory substances, I decided I would take that risk. It was foolish. The experience was intense and horrifying. Every word you're about to read here is as true as I can recall it. The most miraculous thing of all being that I came out of her grasp without much damage.
On a normal summer afternoon, the seeds were aquired. I ate three big ones.
The friend who accompanied me was going to trip along, but we both decided that one should sit, being that this was unknown territory. He gave me the honor of tripping since I was a bit more experienced.
Within 15 minutes I felt physically devastated. My mouth was dry, my muscles were tense and sore and my stomach was nervous. There was no feeling in my head (no headache or anything) and it seemed suprisingly clear, though I felt drunk and incompetent.
'Dude, I'm going to close my eyes and go to sleep.' I said as I drifted off.
'Uh, ok.' Replied my friend.
His voice seemed stretched, deep. I went into a lucid dream state. This is what followed:
I was laying down in a room, choking a black cat. It thrashed and screamed. Its eyes were protruding from its skull. It fought back by clawing at my arms and face. After it died, I was absorbed by an intense thirst. I got up from where I was laying and found this deep well that was built out of metal. It's hard to explain the actual contraption, but it was shiny and new. The water within was clear and cold. I drank and drank from the well, but it could not quench my thirst. I turn around and there's a faucet spilling more precious cold water into a drain. I put my lips to it and drank like a wild animal - but it still could not quench my thirst. Then I was surrounded by water. But none of it could satisfy me. I was gong to die of dehyrdration despite vast resources... I panicked.
My eyes opened, sort of. I was laying on the couch (not my original place of rest) and my friend was gone. When I woke, I heard stomping. Big heavy boots walking around behind me. Through the kitchen, into the bathroom. Whoever it was, they walked like a herd of buffalo. Doors opened, slammed, opened, slammed. The windows started to bulge in and out with a deep croaking moaning noise. An illogical thought entered my mind - the nukes were dropped, and this is what ground zero is like.
I got up from the couch. Fell on my face. Struggled to stand again. God damn, I was thirsty. Perhaps the dream I had was telling me to wake up and drink. I clawed my way to the sink, turned on the faucet and drank. At this point, I didn't care if it was tap water. After bloating my stomach with liquid, I looked stupidly around me.
This was not the room I was in before. Where the hell was my friend?
The stomping came again, and I looked behind me. Through the window I saw a shadow of a person. Many people, actually. They were pressing the glass inward, like it was flexible but liquid. More stomping.
What the fuck is that?
I run around the strange apartment, chasing after who was walking around. I'd follow it into a room, but then it would be in another room when I thought I caught him / her / it. I walk into the main room again, and there's a dead cat in the middle of the floor. Strangled.
I freak. Did I do this? Certainly not. The cat I strangled was black. This is a tabby.
The steps approached from behind. I turn. There's a dead man standing behind me. His mantra becomes enveloped in melancholy as he repeats it: 'you killed my cat you killed my cat you killed my cat you killed my cat...' deeper and deeper into despair.
I awaken at the bottom of some stairs, broken arm. I know I'm awake, but i'm still hallucinating. It's horrible. Insects, perspective shifting, strange ghosts about...
My friend left me alone. I scared him with my delerium. Supposedly, the straw that broke his back was when I said: 'This is the new inquisition. I am here to inquire and cause pain. Now lay down and die.'
I noticed that I was laying on the steps of an apartment about a block from my friends. Supposedly, I had been ripping at this persons door telling them to let me out of the 'endless square'. They had struggled with me and in my stupor I had fallen down the stairs.
The ambulance was called, the police were called - and the rest is pretty self-explanatory. Luckily, most authority figures in my life were understanding of my forays. They expressed sympathy and were simply glad that I was alive.
I apologized to my friend for frightening him, but quickly relieved him of any further sitting duties.
I do not regret my experience. Stil also trying to figure out what my brain was going through. Everything seemed so important but so encrypted. I was scared, but I still feel that the experience was a good lesson for me.
This drug is a battlefield of the mind and body. Do not even attempt to try it unless you're 100% ready to deal with the consequences.
Be safe. Be careful. Tap the void.
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