Citation: toc. "Insane Cubed: An Experience with 2C-T-7, MDMA & Nitrous Oxide (exp13520)". Erowid.org. Nov 21, 2002. erowid.org/exp/13520
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The night started young, set and setting were perfect, No worries. We were planning on just hanging out for the night, but plans came up. We got drugs. A and I snorted about 30mg of 2ct7 each, it was a horrible pain, I was smashing my head on the wall trying to get it to stop. Then the drip
came, ooohh noo...
Well anyways I held it in, and after about 35 mins I puked, as soon as I did the dirt where I was laying, barfing my ass off staarted to move, 'the ants' I thought. I figured they were just those real small brown ants, and not dirt, but then my puke started to morph..this was way cool. We got up and decided to walk to the park. Every 10 feet I would say 'lets stop and lay down' because I was really feeling it, and I was happy and lazy.
We got to the park which is across the street, and the piknik table(red) had these white things all over it, they would morph in about 2 second intervals. This was the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life...Until. Until I looked up at the sky, it was awsome. So anyways we walk into the park, and I got bored of the visuals..not bored but I was kinda like 'is this it?' I could see them cause I tried, not naturally. So A says 'you wanna do the other pills?' I was all for it, so we went inside and snorted a pill of MDMA each. This was sooo smooth coompared to the 2ct7 it
was almost enjoyable. After that we decide to light up a bowl... Well we were just chilling in his room listening to music when he hands me the baloon. 'take a hit man!' he says. I didnt want to because my stomache didnt feel too well. This didn't matter! I was acting like he asked
me to eat a bigmac, nitrous would only ease the pain. I took the hit, layed back in the bed, and that was the beginning of nothing.
Time disappeared, existance was gone. All these events happend, but I do not know in wich order, or what was going on in the real world, but I'll do my best. I suddenly felt as though I was on tv. me and A, well it looked like someone strange, and so did I, but it was us. We were in a car, and people were watching us from home, form TV almost. I just know we were the only ones alive, yet in the complete loneliness, there were infinate numbers of people watching out every move. In this, my thoughts or something kinda narrated us. It talked about being able to find the secret to the universe. That one day you could be lying in your bed, eating dinner, having sex. No matter what, where you are, if you achieved
this mental state of mind you unlocked the doors to heaven, infinity, whatever. You harnished the power to perfection, and nothing in your 'human world' even mattered. Once you got here, that didnt exist, nothing existed more, nothing existed less. It was pure perfection, everytime you would say 'but..' It would be answered. Everytime you would do anything it was already 5 steps ahead of you. There was no question it did not answer, yet I don't remember any questions, it seemed to make me forget them. The only thing I can compare it to is >>> something like that. The outside is bigger, but the inside fits perfectly snug in the
next, if that makes any sense. I figured out the secrets! Nothing more mattered. I was bodyless, mindless, egoless. I was in perfection. No matter what I asked, what I said, what I did, where I went, ANYTHING it was answered by the same answer. This answer was the answer to everything, and also the perfection itself. It was so beautiful.
Soon I begin asking 'when does it stop' etc. I dont remember my exact words, but I could not get out. I never was, I never will be, but I knew it. I was stuck inside the box. I was in an infinate world compared to the 'loading program of the matrix' almost. It was nothingness... The only thing I can say it looked like was every color possible ever, melting
in a bunch of metal, it was metallic colorful, and i was swimming through it, and each touch of it, ach breath of it, the taste of it, the smell of it, and millions of other senses I dont have sober, it was all perfect.
It got overwhelming, I couldnt escape, it it grew more and more intense. Go away! I was now in pain, the pleasure was so great it went from pleasure to pain, it hurt more than anything, except each part of eternity, it would multiply by infinity. It was the every growing pain
of everything. I could feel it all over, I could hear it, I was in the void. I can compare it to a skipping CD, one that repeats every 1/2 second, getting louder witht he pain. I was screaming for someone toget me out of here. (I could talk even though i didnt exist, I dunno the story but eh) I was screaming 'INSANITY!' 'GET ME OUT OF HERE' and such. In
my little world I was running through this infinate space, no up, no down, no floor, no ceiling. I had no feet, or hands, no direction. I was running away from it, trying to escape.
Now in reality, I was screaming these same exact thoughts, and running into stuff. I was breaking things inside so they took my outside where I proceeded to run into cars, and walls, I would hit a car, flip over it, roll around till I got on my feet and keep going, while screaming. The neighbors came out and started telling us to keep quiet, so they put me in
the car, and took me for a drive, to the store. Remember: I was not in trouch with realiy at all, I was in my own world, I did not know we were outside, inside, here or there, they had to force me.
They said in the car I was flipping arund in the backseat, rolling around screaming, they went to the store to buy me some water to hopefully calm me down. I got out of the car without pants(I lost them in the car) and started running into cars/people/buildings screaming. A lady offered to call 911, and they said 'no, hes just drunk.' and tried to controll me. After a while of me screaming, they say they could see my sould ripping apart, that I was not just screaming, but they coud see the pain thrugh me, and decided to call 911. I was dying, and my brain was frying.
Sometime around there everything stopped. I was consumed by noise, and pain, complete fufilment before. Now I am in complete nothingness. I am now in touch of reality. I do not know I'm alive yet, but I incorperated reality into my trip. Ill explain it this way. I was in a BIG dome of nothingness, and projected on the walls were people standing above me looking down. (I was strapped on a strecher) and the cop said 'What drugs have you taken tonight?' and I/them/someone I could hear said 'ecstacy' cop said 'is what', they stuttered and said 'bbad?', cop said 'yes, now what drugs have you taken tonight?' them: 'ecstacy' cop: 'is what?' ... So on so on. This lasted about another eternity.
Then I look, and There is Dark blue person(cop) and then a light blue person(medical?) and then there was this frightening creature. He was a man, orange/red hair, mustache. He was wearing a white shirt, with black
pants, the shirt was tucked in. He appeared to me as a firefighter, but I guess they dont look like that, just what it was to me. On his nametag it said my name. It just got weirder!
Now in the center of this DOME was this guy. It wasnt just a person, lets say a picture is 2d, and a person is 3d, then he was 4d. I can see him mentally, but when I try to focus, it goes away, like its picture can be thought, not seen to this eye. Now this was silent and frightening, I spent eternity there, doing I don't know what, but I was in even more pain
than before. Pure pain facing him, it just lasted fooorever. I dont mean a long time either, I litterally mean 'forever' I was there for eterniry, forever, and never. Soon it died down, the hospital injected stuff into me.
Well soon I woke up and I was alive. I knew I was, except I was REAL high. It felt like existance in general had been picked up, twisted and put through a pepper grinder. It was not just me, everyone was saying 'what is happening?' I asked this guy, the doctor, I knew I was in the hospital, it dint matter though. I said 'What's happening?' and he said 'I don't
know, just ride the trip' I said ok, and layed back down. I woke up about 10 times throughout the night, and all the times I had no energy to sit up. That and the fact I had about 50 straps holding me down, one on my neck and one on my forhead, also.
I finally woke up, and looked around. Let me tell you this. Its more of a trip having a trip like that, then waking up in the hospital not knowing what just happend with your mom sitting right there, than it is doing the drug alone. Anyways my mom said hey and we talked about the night, she was really understanding at the time. I guess its not like 'I got high' but more 'my son almost died' well I had fractured my elbow, and shin, along with stiches, and alot of bruises and cuts.
That was about a year ago, I know it took a while, but a year isnt very long ago. For months after that I was a scared little boy. I could get along life fine, but as soon as my mind had a spare second to think, it would be about 'it' I wanted to understand, but couldnt. It was so frightening. This completely killed my idea of heaven and hell. I wanna die, eternity is too long, and bad shit can happen. Well up to about September I was fucked. I visited my grandma, and it was still awful out there. Finally we went to chicago, and my sister went to college, and in that process before moving back, it was gone. Just like that, it went
away faster than it came on. I was pretty close to my breaking point though. I was afraid to look in the mirror, cause I thought I would see 'it'. I still get a little freaked, when I see my name in a place it shouldnt be. Or if I see my initials anywhere. I associate my
name with 'him' and thats not cool.
In the months afterwords, I was SOOO sure about it. Before, no trip reports were the same, all unique. Now that I tripped that trip, they are all the same, they all share a common 'thing' not only trip reports, but religion, life, everything. It was the same, the answer was the same, it was weird. People know thing, I pointed it out, and some board members
said 'freaky huh' 'yeah after a point you relize its all one' and shit liek that. They know what I mean. ITs gone now, I forgot. The biggest lesson of my life, the most pain I've ever been in, all forgotten. I write this in attempt to remember how bad it was. It changed my life.
All in all it was the most intense thing ever. I know alot of people who do drugs to get high they dont think they can get taken down, just as I did. They are wrong, and they cannot be shown this...they usually gotta learn it themselves. May I suggest learning it with maybe
shrooms, or pot...MDMA + 2ct7 is nothing to mess with. I can usually take what I get, and if anything goes wrong suck it up and live. I don't feel sorry for my self in any ways usually, but let me put this into perspective. After this September 11th attack. Thousands of people
lost thier lives, changing the world forever. I have more sympathy towards myself than I do any of the people, friends, or families effected. I am not that harsh of a person, I do feel. I have lost many loved ones, however the sheer torture of this is unbearable. You cant find
out until its too late. Half a milisecond of this is too much, because time does not exist, 1 second....5 hours...its all the same. Infinity doesnt have any favorites. There is a place I was taken to on this. This place is the same place many people have visited on drugs. All noted as bad, and sharing everything with eachother, a universal place of pain and suffering. Maybe it is Hell, or maybe its simply what our brains are made to do when being burnt alive, but let me tell you, its no place you want to go. Time may exist, however your brain translates it. When its your brain, anything can happen, and it can trick itself into believing it. There is no limitations at all. Nothing in this world could stop it besides death. It is a fragile thing and can emulate ANY amount of pain, more than ever thought possible. Take care of it.
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