Citation: Ditdit. "Workings of the Universe Revealed: An Experience with Morning Glory, Cannabis & Citalopram (exp13130)". Erowid.org. Feb 8, 2005. erowid.org/exp/13130
Amazing experience. Before you read further, realize that although this experience was wonderful, I know that many people could not have handled it. It would simply have been too intense, and would have had long-term psychological damage.
I was going to be riding home on the train, so I acquired some morning glory seeds. I had extracted them with a friend the night before and gotten marginally high (absorption through hands and oral). We used the cold-water method with lemon juice (they had made a previous attempt at a two-part water ethanol extraction, effective, but the people who did it did not enjoy it, I did not partake.) I had about 1000 seeds worth of the extraction poured into my cup for the journey the next day. The plan was to get on the train, drink a few sips (about a quarter of the glass, 250 seeds worth), wait, and gauge how I was doing before going further.
Before I left, a few friends and I smoked up. Mediocre ganja, but I was more than thankful. Fairly high. Then my ride came. We decided to smoke up in the car. He had acquired some G13. As they say, it takes you from zero to stoned in thirty seconds. We packed half a bowl and got wicked high. Then I have to deal with getting on the train. To do so, I had to go through several authority figures while very high. No biggie, I had done this before and was used to it. So I went to my seat, took a few sips, took off my shoes and walked to the dining car to get a sprite to chase it with. This was about half an hour after finishing the weed.
It was then that I was yelled at for not wearing shoes. I would like to emphasize the importance of a sober sitter to all the readers. They keep you from doing ridiculously stupid things, can make a bad trip go good, and can keep you from hurting yourself.
So I sit back down after the ordeal involved in purchasing the sprite, and start drinking the mix. When I looked down to check how I was doing, I realized that I had drank it all. This is when panic set in. I had consumed it all in about 20 minutes. I quickly calculated that I had taken 20-40 times the threshold dosage, or ten times the regular dosage. I tried to take into account the basic chemistry involved in the extraction, my bodyweight, etc. I soon gave up realizing that no amount of scientific guestimation would save me from the inevitable: I was about to become wickedly fucked up.
About half an hour into it, things become very bright and colorful. My nose was also becoming slightly clogged, but that was due to my body reacting to the stuffiness of the train air. Luckily, I had brought sun glasses and an herbal muscle rub. I had no desire to spend a trip on a train with a cramp. So I got some fresh air, rubbed the muscle rub on my upper lip (catjuput opens sinuses very fast). Colors and lights became very very bright. A child behind me was crying, and this would have been agony throughout the trip had the mother not taken her up front. My breathing became slightly labored, and I was thankful to be sitting. Then the trails started. They were pretty pleasant.
Then the trip in my mind began. My internal monologue began to become more and more broken, which initially scared me. Then one of the voices told me to let go and ride things out. So I did, thinking oddly, 'Hey, would the voices in my head lie to me? It is my head, after all.....' Just before I lost all touch with reality, I realized that I was mumbling, at least sort of mumbling, in real life. My lips, tongue, and vocal cords were moving as though I was speaking. In my head, I grasped what they were trying to say. As I retained pieces of my internal monologue, I would 'speak' in first person, then I would shift to third, then to second as though I was being spoken too. Finally I settled into an 'omniscient' person. Throughout this entire course of events, I retained a normal breathing pattern. In and out, in and out, constant, as though my lungs had no desire to interact with the part of my brain that was attempting to speak. Thank god, because to the typical bystander this would have been babble.
Then I had my entire sense of self slip away. I was no longer an individual. I had no internal monologue. My entire life replayed before me, highlighting every connection and interaction, with the rest of the world. I became part of the massive fabric of the universe. I lost who I was, what it meant to be seperate from the rest of life, everything. Wiped from me. I suddenly had access to everything. I experienced life through the perceptual filters of everyone else in the world. My sense of self rattled through my interactions with others from -their- point of view.
I then realized that anything I wanted to know could be told to me (although at this point I should note that personal pronouns were completely unfathomable to me, lightyears away from what I was experiencing). I did not have to 'ask' questions to get answers, I simply had to wonder and they would be there. I always wondered what would happen to sentient beings (even souls, if you will) when the universe rewound and compacted to a single point. I then realized that to an ethereal being, such an event would simply be like a focal point, it would not damage them, as their energy would be neither created nor destroyed. I wondered a million things and had the answers come to me.
As I began to come down, I still felt supremely connected. I waved at the crying girl, who had just returned, and she stopped crying and waved back. I stared into the eyes of a baby and had it look at me with what seemed to be an intense empathy. I then struck up a conversation with the guy behind me. As I began to converse with him, I started naming connections we had. He knew some of the same people I knew, read some of the same books, knew about some of the same artists, was interested in radio and currently getting a show (the man even shared the same genre show as I, and had the same approach towards programming). It was incredibly eerie. The entire universe unfolded before me. It changed who I am. I would not tell anyone to do this though. It was incredibly intense, and I did not expect to be broadsided with this. Although I loved the results, it would have been safer with a sitter.
Some notes on the mixing: We had ingested the seeds plain before. The husks are not kind to the stomach, so weed is recommended for the nausea. The extraction eliminates much of the badness, although the stuff itself tastes horrible regardless of the solvent. I have to mix it or chase it for my palate. I like lemonade mix and sprite. The weed made the ingestion and initial phase much easier to transition through, although no amount of ganja could have prepared me for the loss of identity and reworking of my sense of self. I would also like to strongly recommend the use of some sort of herbal muscle rub, like Tiger Balm, for any aches and for playing with sensory perception on the come down. I didn't start playing with it until 6 hours later though, save the use of it for breathing.
It should also be noted that I am on a low dose SSRI, Celexa, 20mg.
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