Review Erowid at
Help us be a "Top Rated Nonprofit" again this year and spread
honest info (good or bad) about psychedelics & other psychoactive drugs.
("Share Your Story" link. Needs quick login creation but no verification of contact info)
This Can`t Be Real?!?! My Only Thought
Citation:   Omega. "This Can`t Be Real?!?! My Only Thought: An Experience with LSD (exp1312)". Sep 20, 2000.

  oral LSD (liquid)
I am by no means a writer and some of my accounts of this story may seem hazy and Chaotic but this is the best way for me to describe this experience. I`d been Joy Trippin for like 10 or 12 years but nothing was ever quite like this. It was February of 1998. The day stared off normal enough as I woke up, grabbed for my pack of Ports and the phone. I made some calls and headed out the door by 2 in the afternoon with my friend Theresa. We made it into Austin at about 3 and went downtown to chill with some Kidz on the Drag for a few hours. Some Kid told us about a party that night so that became our goal for the evening. The party itself went off without a hitch and all was good catchin up with some Kidz I hadn`t seen in a while and doin some doses. I don`t usually make it a point to keep track of how many hits I`ve taken but I`m sure it was somewhere around 50 paper doses. At any rate I was informed before the night was over to come to this girl Heidi`s (R.I.P.)house the next day if I was gonna be in town at around 5 cause my friend Tre had somethin in mind for me.

It was on. Theresa and I went on back home and slept for a few hours woke up showered and chilled for a while. We made it back to Austin around 6:30(fashionably late)and no sooner made it in the door as my friend Tre said 'open up Kid'. He dosed me about 10 drops of the Sickest Liquid I`ve ever come across. We chilled there for a while and by 7 were out the door to another friends house. The Trip started to set in a little within an hour but it was a feeling I had never experienced before. I felt really uptight and on edge so I smoked some hydro and tried to relax. No dice. This feeling went on for almost 4 hours and I was feeling pretty sick pretty much just thinkin it was bad acid but not wanting to say anything to Tre to Dis his shit. Tre decided it was time to set his plan in motion and asked us if we were ready to go. I asked him where to and he just smiled. O.K. no biggie,this is off we went. Me, Theresa, Tre and his Girl. Our destination turned out to be a Howard Johnson Motel in Austin on the top floor of all places.

Like I said I was feelin pretty bad so goin to the top floor didn`t seem like all that much Phun. When we got to the room Tre told me there was someone he wanted me to meet. I asked him who right as the door opened. I wasn`t sure who this Cat was but I was sure I`d seen him before. He let us in the room and we all exchanged greetings and all that jazz. After a few minutes of chit chat this person that I`ll call F. asked me if I`d like to do some drops with him. I told him I`d taken 10 already and he asked me if I was still sick. Feeling Puzzled I said yeah why?(Thinkin maybe somethin was really wrong with this situation). He asked Tre how long ago I dosed and when Tre told him about 4 hours he said I`d feel better soon and once again asked me if I wanted to do some doses. At that point(and I don`t know why) I said sure. He asked me how many and I got all cocky and said whatever`s clever (big mistake). He came over to me with a vial, bit the tip off and squirted it into my mouth. I instantly started geekin in my mind but held it in to at least look like I was keeping my composure. He then did the same for himself. A few minutes later the sickness was actually going away replaced with an intense feeling of warmth. Tre and F. spoke amongst themselves as I spoke with Theresa who had also done about 30 or 40 drops herself. During this time Tre was tellin F. of how I had always wanted to Spin Out and had never manged to get there even though it wasn`t uncommon for me to eat a sheet or more at a time. F. came back over to me and talked about it with me a bit before offering me the chance I`d always wanted. Put on the spot of it I was a little scared at first but I`m sure it was just the realization of what I had already taken was starting to mess me up pretty bad. I agreed not really knowing what was gonna take place in the next few minutes as I started trying to convince myself I`d be ok. F. pulled out a different batch of vials along with a bottle of 2 fingered tequila (that I later found out was full of Un-Cut Liquid) and carefully put different amounts of (unmeasured)doses in each of 6 vials. Not knowing exactly how much was in each one.He had me sit in a chair, place my hands on my lap and tilt my head back when he started pouring the vials in my mouth and on my face. When he was finished he gave me a hug followed by one from Tre and wished me well on my journey. I relaxed a bit and started to fall into the groove of things for a few minutes when it hit me all at once.

At first it was very peaceful, I started to drift off out of consciousness a bit and was experiencing visuals at an unheard of level, but about 5 minutes later something went wrong.I fell into a complete panic. I started feeling as though I couldn`t breathe. I looked around the room and not wanting anyone to know I was panicking I closed my eyes and tried to ride it out as with any other trip. No dice. In my head I saw blood everywhere and saw myself losing it and starting to kill people that were in the hotel room with me. I opened my eyes again and jerked my head from side to side trying to find a way out of this mindset. I told myself that I needed to get out of the room before I lost it and jumped up and reached for the door. I made it about halfway out the door when I had the feeling and thought in my head that I was telling myself that I would jump (remember I`m on the top floor). I jumped back in the door slamming it and put my back against the door as I slid down it to the ground. Every bad thing that people had told me could happen ran thru my mind and I felt them all happening to me at that point. Tre looked over at me and asked me how I felt and if I was ok. I told him no. He asked me what was wrong and I told him i was scared. He tried to assure me that there was nothing to be afraid of and that it was just my mind trying to let go and that I was trying to hold it back and should just let it go. I put my hands to my head and started crying squeezing my head. At this point he knew something wasn`t right and grabbed F.`s attention to let him know that I was geekin. F. came to me and sat down on the floor beside me, he offered me a bowl and tried to talk to me a bit. I wasn`t comprehending anything and my heart was racing. He helped me up and had me sit in the chair I had started out in. (This is where it got crazy) He had me close my eyes and started placing peaceful thoughts in my head to help me relax as reality was floating away quickly (all this happened within 10 to 15 minutes from the point he splashed me)

He decided this wasn`t going to work and had everyone either leave or be quiet.He took hold of my hand and led me somewhere in my mind I`d never been. He was telling me kinda what to look for and when I found it I let him know. He asked me if I was there and I told him I was. All I could see was a tornado of different colored numbers and letters. He talked to me very calmly and led me back to a point where I was somewhat in grips with what was going on.(more or less I`d say this has to be close to being hyptnotized)I couldn`t believe this was happening.It couldn`t be real.I tried to make sense of it in what little mind I had left but it was no good.This went on for about 20 minutes. Just him talking to me and takin me for a ride (I`d heard of this happening but never believed it was real). When he brought me out I seemed to understand alot more of what was going on around me and things were clearer but I insisted that none of this was real. I quickly put it out of my mind just thankful to be feeling somewhat better but it wouldn`t last for long. He had just gotten me thru the onset of it all. A little later we left there on a mission to get some Meth from another Cat across town. I was feeling really mellow when we left not really thinking about things too much. Just kinda goin with the flow of thoughts of peaceful things that F. had fed me.

When we got to this Kidz appartment I realized quickly that this was a set up. They opened the door and told us to come in but the first thing I saw was a kid hiding in the hall and the barrel of a shotgun barely sticking out. I turned and looked at another kid who had a gun in his pants. As I started to bolt Tre also saw what was going on and started to run also. I took a few running steps and rather that go down the stairs I jumped from the second level walkway. Tre ran down half the stairs before looking back and seeing them start to come after us. I was already in the car and was starting to pull out while opening his door for him to jump in. As we started down the road 2 gunshots rang out and my mind went with them. I don`t know how we made it back to the hotel but we did and right then and there I lost it. I lost all track of everything in my mind. Nothing was real.I don`t really know how to expalin it without sounding like a fool but oh well. I lost myself as a physical being. I didn`t exist. No one did. Nothing was real. No shapes no thoughts,nothing. I was lost in a space of colors. Beautiful colors coming and going from every direction. Not a single thought existed. I was told that what it looked like is that I`d fallen into a Trance and about 20 minutes into it they said I just passed out. Out of fear of what had happened earlier no one wanted to call an ambulance and have everyone all freaked out so F.had some of the people there take off just in case anything happened to me so they wouldn`t be involved. I was that close to death becoming a reality and didn`t even know it.

I awoke several hours later completely delirious. Not being able to make any sense of anything. My ability to speak was gone only to be replaced by jibber jabber baby talk. I stayed like that for a couple of hours (while I was told later everyone sat around watching me hoping I`d be ok but not really knowing if I would or not). (I was also told of the baby talk as they called it as I had no recollection of it) After that I passed out again and everyone started to panic a bit. This went on with me waking up and passing out the whole morning, day and half of the next night. I finally started to come out of it a bit when I heard the phone ring. I looked around and asked everyone what was going on. I was still really out of it but I had some senses of things. I smoked a bowl with some help and they managed to feed me a bit when it hit me again. This time I understood things a lot better but was still not in my right mind. By the morning I was able to get in the car to start making my way home. 'Finally' I thought. I was able to drive so I figured I must be ok. Everyone thanked me for giving them the scare of their lives as Theresa and I left the hotel. Halfway home we noticed a DPS Trooper right on our bumper. Not good. I was able to maintain some kind of mindset to keep the car straight and that he was just running the tags to make sure we were all good. Whew!! We were and he went on his way. I had trouble getting used to being anywhere but the hotel for hours when we got back to my friends apt. and by the evening time headed back for Austin still trippin. We hooked up with Tre and his girl and rented a room where Tre and I proceeded to match and raise each other on doses the whole night with both of us passing out and waking up over and over again. You`d think I would have learned something or been afraid but after all I had already been thru nothing seemed impossible. I don`t know what exactly happened to me on that trip but I haven`t been the same person. I lost some of my edge on things that I don`t understand. I can`t explain what I saw. It was religious, it was eternal, it was pure insanity. I learned some things during this time though I`m still not really sure what they were. I don`t know if I would recomend anyone doing this without putting some serious thought into it first. I could have died and it didn`t cross my mind until I was faced with the reality of it.

Raw Liquid is about as pure as it gets aside from getting dusted from a crystal and None of us are really sure how much I was given. F. isn`t even sure and was upset with himself for not being more careful. I`m alive and it`s all good but I don`t know if I`d ever do it again. It took almost 2 months for me to feel normal and get some of the things I had seen out of my head and to this day I`m still not the same person I was when I got up that day to drive to Austin. Getting Spun is something that can easily get out of hand. This is a very dangerous thing to do. Not knowing the exact Mics you`ve ingested can be fatal, and with Liquid it`s hard to say. Keep that in mind if you decide to venture any further than just weekend Joy Tripping. It`s so much more than that. It`s an Experience. One of a lifetime for me I think. Omega

Exp Year: 1998ExpID: 1312
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 20, 2000Views: 10,864
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults