Citation: Maby. "Death makes life beautiful: An Experience with LSD (exp1257)". Erowid.org. Apr 18, 2001. erowid.org/exp/1257
I had always been comfortable in my experiences. Never had a thought of a bad time, or extreme insanity ever crossed my mind. I started tripping at the beginning of my Junior year in college, I guess because I was bored with life. My creativity had run out, and LSD seemed to be a way in which I could channel that creativity. But nothing, nothing could have ever prepared me for the night of April 11.
On the day before that life changing event, I had decided to roll for the very first time, which was wonderful. The next night I had decided to go on the trip of my life at a party that I was having. I started the night off by eating two of these Jellies (orange if I am not mistaken) and had grown impatient for the trip to come on. So I quickly ate another jelly, then in which my friend dared me to eat another. So I did. I mean young male pride was ripe, and I did not bother to give it a second thought. My other friend (you could call her the supplier of such party favors) said she had a jelly and a half left. So I bought those and ate them as well. Thats when I started to trip. Hard.
The world began to glow red, sepping across and stretching into everything imaginable. With the redness of the world and myself, things began to get very warm. So I decided to go to my room and lock the door. I didn't realize it yet, but the night had not even started. I began to have horrific thoughts of having eaten too much LSD. Perhaps my heart was about to explode, I don't know. But death, death was on my mind. I let some friends into the room and that is when the insanity hit.
I sat Indian style in the corner of the room and it bagan to disappear. The world diasappeared in a series of flashes and I blacked out for a moment. I came to and realized that I was stuck in time. Stuck, a second was infinity and infinity was not long enough. Every move I made, every breath I took lasted forever. It was hell.
I rolled over in my bed and my sheets wrapped around me, forming a rock tight caccoon. The world was gone and all I could see was a huge heart. It was my heart and it exploded. I was dead, dead as a rock and realized that the bed opened and my mind had left my body, as I fell through space. I saw the stars, the moon, planets, the universe. I had given up on life, nothing mattered when you were dead, but I couldn't accept it. I couldn't.
Suddenly I found myself leaping down several staircases, a flight at a time. I quickly made it outside with my roommate at least thirty seconds behind. I was holding my head screaming over and over that I had died, and was entirely convinced. I did not want to accept it, and it is that fact that kept me going. I undressed in the road, as clothes had no meaning to a wanderless spirit of the night. That is when my roommate caught up with me and attempted to explain to me what was happening. I was insane. But his voice was nothing in comparison to the voice from above. God's echoing voice covered all, and I was powerless to resist it. It told me one thing (that phrase which if repeated, might get me a lighting bolt from above.) That is when I ran and the dirt path in front of me became a stairway to heaven and in the clouds above I could see a white light. The white light. I went as high as I could and just as I put my finger to that light, my mind shut down.
I eventually awoke in my friend's car, stark naked, and vomit all over myself. The world was different, I was different, and I don't think that my life can ever be like that hollowed shell again. This will probably be the most spiritual experience of my life.
I spent the next year of my life, depressed and sometimes on the edge of lunacy. But I have finally recovered, as the events of that night are slowly fading in with my memory. But I talked to God (or the voice in my Sub-concious, however you want to see it), learned a fundamental truth, touched the light at the end of the tunnel, and realized that I was alive. Truly alive. Life is beatiful, glorious, and is never to be wasted.
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