Citation: Cornczech. "We All Became One: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Ketamine (exp12384)". Erowid.org. Jun 14, 2007. erowid.org/exp/12384
||(pill / tablet)
||(powder / crystals)
I first took MDMA in 1996 with a girlfriend of mine and absolutely loved it, but was only able to do it a couple of times that year. I was able to do it again when the 'club scene' hit SLC. I would say I do one or two tabs once or twice a month. I was introduced to K by partygoers (krackbabies) in the CH scene. My first introduction, the person who was cutting lines for me, did not make it clear which 'line' I was to do, and I ended up inhaling what he later termed a 'cartoon line'...a HUGE bump for a first time user. As I had JUST dropped my THIRD roll, I did not feel a whole lot, even though the look on my friends face after I inhaled that huge piled, scared me a little and I was expectin gto go deep in to the infamous K-hole. I did a few bumps at every after hours for a few months and then, after having a less then pleassant experience with a stronger version of K, decided to stop doing it for a while.
I ended up having a personal set-back, having to spend a week in the hospital and feeling like I had lost a few week of my life to an illness. After recovering, my closest friend said she had some good rolls and was getting some of the 'old' 'good' kitty food. Having not been able to party at all for the past several months, she hooked me up with a roll and a large baggie of 'kitty food'.
My husband had, in the past, tried K, but did not like the after effects too much, so he decided to act as a kind of sitter for me. We decided to dance a little and went to one of the clubs in the city. We dropped before entering the club and stayed and danced for about 2 hours. We decided to go back to our flat and 'chill out'. I put on The Avalanches and loaded my bong.
When I started to come down off my roll, I began inhaling small bumps of K. I didn't want to do too much too quickly as I had vomited in the past from doing too much too fast. After I began to get that tingly, 'I can see clearer' feeling, I began to inhale larger and larger lines, cartoon lines. I had my husband turn off the stereo as in the past, I had become slightly agitated by the music. At first, I could move around, and my husband and I began discussing our marriage, thoughts, feelings. After about my 3rd larger line, I began to slowly slip into a 'k-hole' where I was unable to move very well and could not really see 'reality'.
I began to feel like I was on a rollar coaster. Not as a rider, but almost like I WAS the roallar coaster. My body would shift and turn and 'flip'. At this point, words cannot truely describe what I was 'feeling.' It was like closing my eyes in a familiar room and knowing what the room looks like in my mind. I was 'seeing' these places that I knew intimately, but have never actually visualized in 'reality.' In my mind, I was familiar with this place, like I was 'home' for real.
At this point, I was not completely in the hole, so I decided to move to the bed. I did my slow motion robot walk to my bed and got everything ready for my dive into the unknown. I cut 3 large lines and inhaled the first and lie down on the bed. I began to 'shift' like part of me was going on way and part another. I began to 'feel' the presence of many entities that I 'knew' somehow but I have never met in my life. After 15 minutes, I inhaled another large line. At this point, I began to see many things: A 'sentinel' being with a gold face that watched from the corner of the room.
The actual room began to change. It became warmer and smaller. The Indonesian Dream goddess we have hanging from the ceiling began to shimmer and change, almost becoming alive. My husband was lieing next to me and listen to me talk. 'What colors do you see?' I asked him and though he was not in the hole with me, he perfectly could describe what I was seeing, the colors would blend and twist in my minds eye and I KNEW I had been in this place before. I said, 'This is not what we expect. Not at ALL what we think it is.'
At one point, our cat come and curled up next to me. The essence of my husband and cat blended in with me and we all became one. I could then sense my cat taking over and he was 'showing' me, through feelings, what he had expereinced before my husband and I rescued him(he had been an abandoned cat). He showed me the torture some boys had put him through and I could sense his love and gratefulness for us having saved him and loved him.
As a few days have passed since this experience, I have forgotten a lot of what I 'saw'. I remember calling out my deceased great-grandmother's name. I remember saying, 'Hey guys!' to some group of entities I knew in this place, but never saw in my life. I felt that I was truely loved and that I had always known the 'truth' of reality. Then, after I inhaled the very last pile, I began to become one with my husband. He was beside me, holding my hand. It was like he 'oozed' into me from the left side of my head. He was like a dark blue color when I saw him inside me and I knew that he had been 'given to me' to help me open up and feel protected in this life. I asked him to 'show himself to me' and he stood up and I saw his face, but never like I have ever seen it before. It was as if he shimmered and his eyes were alive with electricity and almost sparkled. I asked him, 'Is this the real you? The REAL, REAL you?' He said it was and I could 'see' or 'feel' who he really was and I asked him to protect me and 'showed' him my life and why I was who I was.
After a few more twists and turns in my new reality, I slowly came down and in a pleasant glow, I fell asleep in my husband's arms. The afterglow was spectacular and I did not have the usual headache. I will DEFINATELY do this again, but next time, I wil not be too afraid to try a larger dose to try to get deeper into the K-hole. I think I have been completely awakened to my true spiritual self and that of my husband.
I also might like to try Salvia Divinorum to further my search for what is real and behind this veil we call 'reality'. One thing I tried to explain to my husband was it was like I was looking out into reality, what is in front of us, what we see to be real, hear, taste, and that behind this facade was the other side, the flip side to this. Like on Price is Right when the door turns to reveal another New car!,,,,,behind reality is what is TRUELY real....home.
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