Watching Myself Fall...
Citation: Sasha. "Watching Myself Fall...: An Experience with Crack (exp12271)". Erowid.org. Jan 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/12271
I'm only 17 and I'm experiencing the most diffcult thing in the world. Some people will read this and think that it is almost impossible to be addicted to these types of drugs at a young age, but its not. Anyone can become addicted, it only takes one time. It began when I was 16. I started smoking weed every weekend. It was great. We would go to our regular spot with the same bowl and smoke. Eventually the smoking increased and a day could not go by without smoking. I soon would cut class and smoke before, during, and after school. On school nights I would be up till the early hours smoking. I'm pretty sure I did it because I never had to pay, and I always had a free bag of weed when I wanted it. For some reason it just did not seem fun anymore. After awhile it lost its fun. Thats when my life began to turn.
Senior year at a catholic highschool, no one would ever think that I would be a crack head, not even myself. I started taking pills. Anything I could get my hands on. I got introduced to Oxys, and before I knew I was snorting them a couple times a week. The more I did the less I felt and I kept getting worse and worse. It became apparent, drugs are not working for me anymore. Until one night I was at a so called friends getting the usual 20, when he offered me crack. Up until this point I never pictured myself doing anything of this sort, but I did it. It made me feel good, incredibly good. I kept doing it.
It made me feel good, incredibly good. I kept doing it.
The next thing I know its 3 30 in the morning and I'm sitting on the couch smoking out of my own pipe. When I left I called my boyfriend and told him what I had done. He began to cry and told me that it was over. I drove there and we talked things out. I promised never to do it again. In my heart I did not want to, but my mind craved it. I started doing it more and more. I kept it a secret. When I could not get the crack, I would smoke Opium or take anything I could. I eventually could not keep in the secret anymore and once again I confided in my boyfriend, who broke up with me again. Again we resolved it, but this time I found myself wanting to change. He called me a 'crackhead' and this time it hurt. It has not been that long, but its not the time but the way I feel. In my heart and mind I want to change. I want to be clean, I want to live a normal life like many other 17 year olds. I know the people who love me will be there for me and the others will continue to lead the drug lifestyle. I'm writing this not to make myself feel better but to maybe inspire someone to stop. Drugs caused me to lose people I love and to do things I would never do at any other time. Drugs made who I am change, they made me turn into some mindless fool. So if you are reading this and you do have a problem, please get help. You to can conquer this. I have faith in you...
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