Citation: LostLittleBoy. "The Beauty of Nothingness: An Experience with Oxycodone, Morphine & Hydrocodone (exp12255)". Erowid.org. Sep 13, 2002. erowid.org/exp/12255
This report will depict the last six months of my daily addiction.
I hope that this report will help everyone understand the seriousness of opiates. Here is a background on my life. I am currently 13. I have used almost every opiate except Heroin. I have also used opium, pot, mushrooms, a number of benzodiazpines (valium etc.), Adderal, alcohol (was addicted for a while), coke, almost every pharm. out there, porphine tablets and morphine i.v. (I haven't used LSD or methamphetamine either). I have always been depressed but not seriously (I'm sure I left a couple drugs out but you get the point).
It all started last July when I got appendicitis. They gave me morphine and hydromorphone(Dilaudid). I also recieved a prescription for hydrocodone (Vicodin) and I ate those like candy. My mother has a back injury and I have been stealing her oxycodone (Percocet) for the last six months. I have lied, broken into homes, stole, and cheated to feed my addiction.
The high on Morphine IV (the best opiate I have done) is like the feeling of content over the smallest things. Like sunny days with warm breezes, like sitting on a brand new Lay-Z-Boy, all these but better. Oxycontin are almost as good. Oxycodone has been my steady diet for the last six months and I have shot up a few times. When I can't find a fix I go thru withdrawls. Stomach cramps, back ache, head ache, depression and nausea. Days on end. Then the fix is just more beautiful, brighter, and healing.
Recently I have experienced the worst depression of my life. Quitting. I can't. I can't. I can't. Last night I took 10 Vicodin that I stole from my neighbors house (since my mom busted me it's the only close source). Not all at once, 5 and a half in the begining then 4 and half within the next hour. I took two from her house tonight and am considering taking them to stop the WD and depression.
I NEED YOU TO LISTEN. I AM FUCKING SERIOUS. THESE PILLS HAVE DESTROYED MY LIFE. I WISH I COULD JUST TAKE 1 EVERY TIME I TORCHED A BOWL BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. I GET EXTREEMLY DEPRESSED EVERY TIME THEY WEAR OFF. DO NOT FUCK WITH OPIATES IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY. PLEASE!
I am trying to save you from what I can NO LONGER CONTROL! Please listen to me. I pray everyday that it will leave me. If you have quit Opiates before please email me, tell me what works. I want the rest of my life.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.