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The Beauty of Nothingness
Oxycodone, Morphine & Hydrocodone
by LostLittleBoy
Citation:   LostLittleBoy. "The Beauty of Nothingness: An Experience with Oxycodone, Morphine & Hydrocodone (exp12255)". Erowid.org. Sep 13, 2002. erowid.org/exp/12255

 
DOSE:
    Pharms - Oxycodone
      Morphine
      Hydrocodone

BODY WEIGHT: 115 lb


This report will depict the last six months of my daily addiction.

I hope that this report will help everyone understand the seriousness of opiates. Here is a background on my life. I am currently 13. I have used almost every opiate except Heroin. I have also used opium, pot, mushrooms, a number of benzodiazpines (valium etc.), Adderal, alcohol (was addicted for a while), coke, almost every pharm. out there, porphine tablets and morphine i.v. (I haven't used LSD or methamphetamine either). I have always been depressed but not seriously (I'm sure I left a couple drugs out but you get the point).

It all started last July when I got appendicitis. They gave me morphine and hydromorphone(Dilaudid). I also recieved a prescription for hydrocodone (Vicodin) and I ate those like candy. My mother has a back injury and I have been stealing her oxycodone (Percocet) for the last six months. I have lied, broken into homes, stole, and cheated to feed my addiction.

The high on Morphine IV (the best opiate I have done) is like the feeling of content over the smallest things. Like sunny days with warm breezes, like sitting on a brand new Lay-Z-Boy, all these but better. Oxycontin are almost as good. Oxycodone has been my steady diet for the last six months and I have shot up a few times. When I can't find a fix I go thru withdrawls. Stomach cramps, back ache, head ache, depression and nausea. Days on end. Then the fix is just more beautiful, brighter, and healing.

Recently I have experienced the worst depression of my life. Quitting. I can't. I can't. I can't. Last night I took 10 Vicodin that I stole from my neighbors house (since my mom busted me it's the only close source). Not all at once, 5 and a half in the begining then 4 and half within the next hour. I took two from her house tonight and am considering taking them to stop the WD and depression.

I NEED YOU TO LISTEN. I AM FUCKING SERIOUS. THESE PILLS HAVE DESTROYED MY LIFE. I WISH I COULD JUST TAKE 1 EVERY TIME I TORCHED A BOWL BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. I GET EXTREEMLY DEPRESSED EVERY TIME THEY WEAR OFF. DO NOT FUCK WITH OPIATES IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY. PLEASE!

I am trying to save you from what I can NO LONGER CONTROL! Please listen to me. I pray everyday that it will leave me. If you have quit Opiates before please email me, tell me what works. I want the rest of my life.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 12255
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 13, 2002Views: 59,276
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Oxycodone (176), Morphine (211), Hydrocodone (111) : Not Applicable (38), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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