DOSE:	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
	1.5 hits		LSD	(gel tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

128 lb

So let me first say that I have considered myself to be rather experienced with altered states of consciousness up to this point: much psychedelic use (perhaps too much); extensive abuse of DXM; and many other odd drugs here and there, such as 2-CB; as well as Yoga, meditation, breathwork, cold plunge, etc.]

That being said, if you are in a similar situation, get it through your head now that none of that is a guarantee of safety or that you will be able to handle an experience like this. You read the warnings and the horror stories and you think you will be prepared, but the end of reality is never a thing us mortals are prepared to encounter. Be more cautious than I was.

The day began with a line of ketamine. I had been doing all the ketamine I got in the mail for the past two days : believe it or not, free ketamine!—promotional deal for a vendor to get his name out (something I would've scoffed at the possibility of just a few years ago). I was beginning my day like that despite knowing it was an obvious sign of addiction. I knew that I needed to control myself, but, hey, if I burn through it all in a few days, it'll disappear and so will my problem, right? [Note: addiction is real dysfunction, not subject to availability of particulars].

I didn't keep great track of my doses... I was no longer taking this like a psychonaut. I had some LSD glued up in a comic book [gel tabs], but I hadn't gotten into it yet. I was eager to give it a try, since I hadn't done anything like this in a while. At this point, I knew I was breaking the code any responsible user follows: I didn't have a scale this time; I was not being cautious. I didn't even research the combination I knew I wanted to try, figured I would just wing it. My friend would later tell me that I *know* better than to do all this in this way. And more, I was completely alone for this—no guidance, no support, no safety-net. This was taking place at my family's house who so graciously hosted me, and whom I most gravely inconvenienced, as you shall find.

17:28 (5P.M.) - Ingest 1 & 1/2 tabs of 100µg LSD gel tabs

I go for a couple of walks outside during the comeup

There is an active tornado watch for most of the country at this time, but nobody seems concerned about it here, except for some strong weather.

I go out into this grass field with a taper staff, and I have a lot of anxiety. The clouds appear inauspicious, and the left side of my body has energetic problems. I try doing qi gong and reiki on myself, but the energy is very wonky. I feel certain that I am going to be struck by lightning or that some other ill event is going to occur. I believe that I am going to die in some way, but I am not afraid.

It rains heavily for a burst: I get drenched. I start running towards the house. I think about how manufactured this stick is, and as such it is useless for magickal purposes. I wish I had my shamanic staff.

When I get back to the house, my family invites me to spend time with them. I most selfishly reject this offer with incomplete sentences, because I have already decided to imbibe ketamine. I wanted to take it while I was outside, but the rain discouraged me. Who knows what would have happened, but regardless, in the room I'm staying, I pour out some ketamine. Up until now, I'd been pouring out a pile about the size of a U.S. dime, which I felt was usually a pretty good dose, and I'd even K-holed by taking oral dose before such a line. But this time, I decide to pour out a way bigger pile. Looking at it, I feel some hesitation, and I know it would be better to take less, but I'm intent on having an intense experience.

~19:00 - The ketamine all goes up both nostrils, one after the other, two lines

I get naked and drink water, wiping my nose with a handkerchief. I put on very nice, peaceful theta binaural meditation music. I look at my body and try to appreciate its beauty like an outside observer. I want so badly to be loved like this, but I am afraid and repressed both sexually and in my gender. I want to love myself in a pure way, like Christ would love me (I am not Christian). The ketamine is setting in. I don't know where I will go, but I know I love God, that being who is one with all beings and also the source, transcendent and beyond.

Time passes, everything fades away. Soon, time will have no meaning. But there is a glow. I tell myself I am on LSD and ketamine, and I tell myself that there is nothing that any substance can do to me in truth of my nature, which is beyond the mind. I try to meditate.

Everything gradually approaches a singularity which gets louder and louder. The truth that all is one nature has never been so clear. I praise the Great Being of Reality in all possible ways, which becomes increasingly limited as I cease to exist. I experience a merge of all of these pleasurable ideas: the big O, the big bang, intoxication, death, joy, everything: they all merge into one indellible thing beyond them all. Then there is this point of absorption, and all consciousness is simply aware of itself.

Time ceases, but then again, by its own will, it chooses to create materiality. This material energy manifests itself under the influence of time, which is part of this singular energy, as simultaneous difference and unity—it is very difficult to understand. As I reindividuate into a potential ego, I become very afraid of my fate. The world becomes manifest, but now I am not one with my body.

I am one with all possible timelines, phasing in and out of possible realities. I experience corporeal death several times. My consciousness is shredded across a diversity of beings, experiencing all kinds of violence. I am both perpetrator and victim. I am God, but I am a sinner. I would later compare this to the idea of a mind-flayer: my mind is shredded and placed across all possible timelines in various locations, I experience everything possible, it cannot be adequately explained, but I exist as particles everywhere in all timelines, outside of corporeal limitation but very aware of them. Pain and pleasure exist, and I witness them all. I am killed many times and I suffer many times and I experience joy many times, but I am unaffected, for I instead cling to the Sole Truth, chanting the many names of God in every life.

Infinite variegated possibilities are merely a penance in homage to That. Peace forever be upon the nameless who trancends quality; may I serve It ever from life to life.

I am sent to Judgement. I am very afraid of my sinful nature. I cry out the Names again and again; That is most merciful. But I know I will reap unlimited suffering, and I am sent to hell, where I am repeatedly saved by Messengers. I am confused, and I am worried the Messengers will see me as an impostor. [These were actually paramedics who had arrived as I was violently convulsing at this point ; not an actual overdose, but out of my shit]. I cling to the Truth; I do not know who I am, good or evil in nature, but I cling to this unseen Lord of Creation. I am sent to Hell; I am sent to barking dogs in infernal regions and crushed in grinding metal gears; I have my head cut apart on a tablesaw.

I phase in and out of waking, bodily reality, but the timeline is unclear. My family had to dress me and an ambulance took me to the E.R. I was very truthful, barely remember trying to explain to them that I was too high to answer questions reasonably. I wasn't sure if I was on trial before God or before police or what, but I knew I had to be truthful even if it wasn't convenient, because nothing is more important than being truthful, since That is ever always True.

In the end, it took five or six paramedics to hold me down, and I am not heavyset. I was sedated and given antipsychotics and woke up in the hospital. I had hurt myself convulsing, and hurt my family through this situation.

In the end, there was nothing fun about this, but I got what I deserved.

Don't start drugs.

Exp Year: 2026	ExpID: 119646
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Apr 5, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Health Problems (27), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Combinations (3), Hospital (36)