DOSE:

100 ug

oral

LSD

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

Good preparation: One week without alcohol and very healthy eating + quiet phase

Playlist: 1 hour of introductory music – 1 hour of music from indigenous peoples – 2 hours of classical music – the rest mixed
Dose: 100 micrograms of LSD
Setting: Two people in an apartment, everything darkened and with a blindfold = journey inward
Tools: Pictures from childhood, notebook, oracle cards

A friend and I have planned a journey into our inner selves: we are going to take LSD together while blindfolded. The evening before the trip, we drive to a holiday flat in the mountains. It's perfect for our plans. Before we go to sleep, we discuss the dose, our needs and go through the prepared playlist again.

The next morning, I get up early. I meditate and feel positive about the trip. Then we go shopping, prepare the food for later and darken the flat. Using the blotter dissolved in alcohol, I measure out exactly 100ug. A little lemon and the trip can begin.

10:00 – We lie down on our mattresses in the living room, blindfold ourselves and start our adventurous journey with a guided meditation. Already here (after 15 minutes) I feel the effects. And by the first song of the introductory music, I'm already taking off.

11:00 – Fully immersed in the trip, I can only vaguely remember the next 2 hours. Guided by the music of indigenous peoples, I feel deeply connected and touched by the harmonious life these peoples lead with nature. It is a journey into the past. I sit by the campfire. I listen to my ancestors. My body vibrates with the singing and music. Connectedness. Grounding. Simplicity.

12:00 – Then comes 2 hours of classical music. I remember that it triggered many emotions in me, worked within me and was incredibly intense.

13:00 – I come to for the first time. I drink some water, go briefly to the table and note the time. Three hours have passed. I lie down and pick up the photos of the children. The image changes constantly from happy to sad and back again. I see everything beautiful and everything less beautiful that I have experienced. And how I tried to cope with the world as a child. Joyful tears of connection with my inner child, who still shapes me, come to me. Like the tears, some worries and fears seem to flow away. A letting go. I lie down and dive back in.

13:30 – The ultimate reality: Time of great fear. The classical music leads me to a feeling I already know from previous trips. I can only remember it properly on this trip. A fear arises in me. A premonition. Everything is predetermined. Even the fact that I planned this trip. I created a playlist and now I have arrived at this exact point. All events have led me here. And fittingly, the orchestra plays an epic symphony.

I experience the ultimate reality: there is not only linear time, but also vertical time. We are all connected. Everything is One. I am everything. All knowledge. Enlightenment. So I am also the creator who writes the history of the world. And now what do I do with that? It frightens me enormously. So everything is predetermined?

Why does it scare me so much? Shouldn't I feel joy? Am I close to ego death? I don't know why it scares me so much. But it feels so ultimate. The endlessness. There is no beginning and no end. Am I afraid of being ‘nothing’ anymore? Does life lose its meaning? This fear spreads and it feels super real. I scribble a few words and the writing seems automatic. Predestined.

In this state, I was also able to write down the question: Why do we do it then? What does it do for me? And then a void arises. There is no answer. The answer is me. I want to write down what I am experiencing. But it eludes me. I cannot grasp it. And it's best to forget all of this so that life can go on ‘normally’.

14:00 – I eat something and lie down. I try to let go of the terrible thoughts. I immerse myself in the gentler music.

15:00 – Talking to my friend, the fear subsides a little. And yet it still seems to be slumbering in the back of my mind.

17:00 – Slowly, we return to normalcy. We eat and then decide to go outside. At the river, we dive into the cool water. We discuss everything under the sun. The joys of small things. Nature. And how beautiful the world can be. Despite the difficult experience, it feels good. Grounded. Clear.

18:30 – Back at the camp, we listen to calm music. We enjoy the last sparks that the music sparks. We write things down and draw an oracle card: Fire. That which consumes everything.

21:00 – There are still faint flashes, but we are tired and decide to go to sleep.

A recurring story: I have had this experience three or four times before. The memory has mostly escaped me. Only on this trip can I really remember it. But I can remember that the story and the feeling are always pretty much the same.

How can I deal with this?

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 119330
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Nov 12, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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