DOSE: T+ 0:00	5.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)
T+ 4:00		smoked	Cannabis - Hash

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

Pre-Trip Preparations

Knowing this would be a heroic dose. There was an amount of prep work done prior to starting this trip, as well as feeling a bit nervous. I did a good beach walk the day before to ground myself, and set up intentions for the trip.

Intentions included wanting some clarity on a business decision, dealing with a recent relationship break up, discovering more about non physical spaces and simply enjoying the trip!

This was a solo trip with no sitter, safeguards were also set up. Including a new idea of sticking notices up around the house reminding myself that I’m tripping and that I’m OK. House keys hidden out of the way, and reporting in frequently to a friend online to confirm all was good. I am experienced with mushrooms and this is not my first heroic dose.

Nausea and stomach ache is an increasing problem for me when doing mushroom trips. So I did everything I could to avoid it. Unfortunately I didn’t avoid it. Even using strained lemon-tek method and drinking Ginger Tea.

Trip started at about 12.30pm

Come Up

The come up was brutal. Within 15 minutes, effects were kicking in, and kicking in fast. From sitting outside and relaxing, I just had to go lay on the bed. As the psilocybin starts taking effect I can only describe the experience as unpleasant. It’s like everything starts becoming corrupted. The sound of the fan spinning in the room starts getting garbled, like its slowing down. I was seeing closed eye visuals of intimidating zig zag lines. A suitable metaphor is like you’re being lifted off somewhere and you’re just trying to cling on to the ground. You’re not consciously trying to do that, because obviously I wanted to get through the come up to a stabilised phase. I think it’s the brain trying to cling on somewhat.

I became aware that my consciousness is entering another space. There are plenty of ways to perceive this and word it, but however you do, its ultimately the same thing. I could also describe it as like the mushrooms are now in me and weighing on me. But as I get further eyes closed and eyes open feel like two very different places.

I was fighting not to be sick, otherwise I’d throw the trip. But thankfully I wasn’t sick. The next part, I can only describe as humbling. I am experienced with using Psilocybin Mushrooms. But I still reached out to spiritual entities for help and guidance to push me through this come up phase and get the re-assurance that it won’t last as I will break through. I realised that this part of me on a spiritual level is very young, or inexperienced and adolescent. At this point I could absolutely feel that the mushrooms themselves are an entity in their own way and are now here, very present. They were telling me that I could do this without them. But I had the feeling of them carrying me through. It felt like they were latched on to me and showing me the way.

One thing that really helped with this process, was calm relaxing melodic music, with a bit of transcendence and euphoria. Interestingly my normal playlist with happier faster music was not cutting it this time. This was a more serious trip.

Stabilised Phase

After an hour from starting, the clouds cleared, the stomach ache less noticeable and subsiding. This ‘corrupt’ zig zag lines just started giving way to being able to visualise an empty white space. Perhaps this was the breakthrough as some people call it.

I became quite aware of just how much more of me there is. My mind can be focussed on my physical body in physical reality where its actually quite uncomfortable to be. Focussing on non-physical or further out away was now more comfortable. It’s almost like a separation of person. If you ask me in the physical, how are you? The answer would be, I am not feeling very well. But ask the version of me who is now occupying a non-physical space, and I would say I was feeling great!

It adds credence to the idea that we as people exist in multiple spaces at once, but we are normally just focussed or only aware of ourselves here in the physical. I do want to add that later on, I was physically feeling absolutely fine again and perfectly well.

At this point I was now getting auditory hallucinations in my head. It was like a quarter of a second snippet of sound, which repeated 4 times in a fading way. – “DUH DUh Duh duh .” Some were like a voice, some were just random sounds of anything you’d come across day to day. And this kept happening, over and over. I was trying to focus on it, to bring some clarity or meaning to these sounds. It was like I was trying to tune into something. Like tuning a radio.

I’m not going to speak about visuals. Because at this point, on this dose, I am way past caring about visuals. Sure opening my eyes, everything is moving and morphing. But I don’t even notice it anymore or care. I'm just past it. One amusing mention though, is I was looking at the sign on the door reminding me that I was tripping. The writing completely vanished on it and it was changing to almost different words. I was trying to read it with difficulty. It was like when you’re dreaming and you’re trying to read something. You just can’t. Too fuzzy, non sensical.

I wanted to document this experience. But it was difficult. I recorded myself trying to talk about it, because its important to me as a Psychonaut to get these experiences logged as accurately as possible. The memory of these experiences fade and skew. A lot gets lost in translation from whats going on there, to what you can bring back here. There isn’t the words, there isn’t the cognitive understanding. Even this trip report as detailed as I’m making it, is only showing you a fraction of what was.

So talking about it as its happening is paramount. But it is not easy. I find myself almost rehearsing in my head and trying to figure out how to explain it in words. The problem with doing this, is that it pulls you back from the experience. I found the zig zag lines starting to re-appear, the stomach ache to start again albeit briefly.

Later on, the music in the headphones started getting in the way. It was great at first, but now I just want to go. Keep going deeper. Into a deep meditation. Though that wasn’t helped by yawning a lot, eyes watering, and randomly quite itchy too.

Emotionally throughout the trip, there wasn’t much to report on. I was more focussed on the experience itself. And maintained a stable emotional state.

Peak

I would say the trip peaked at about 2 hours in. I can only describe this as greatly expanded awareness. But first I want to talk about ego-death. This is something I’ve read a lot about. People saying that they forget who they are, they lose individuality, lose sense of time. But for me, it was more like, I wasn’t thinking about any of that. None of that was important at this stage. I was still me. Internal monologue still there in my mind. But just with a greatly expanded awareness of everything. When you have this level of awareness, the ego, the individuality is just a small part of you. So you’re just not concerned about it at this point. Because I’m wanting to explore the greater awareness. Was this what others would describe as ego death? I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t think it actually matters.

So of course in this heightened awareness state. I wanted to investigate the ultimate questions. Is there more to existence than physical reality? Is what I am experiencing just a product of the brain? Or is what I am experiencing something outside of our physical spacetime? Extra dimensional spaces, etherical planes etc? Does our consciousness survive physical death?

But this is what I became aware of. Everything is about me! It’s not about whether spirits exist or not. It’s about me. I am the centre of everything. This isn’t something I’m being told. I’m not hearing a voice saying “This is the crack...” I just became aware of it. Like a sense. When pondering these big questions, all I’m getting back is “No, it’s not about all that! This is about you!”. I’ve found this before with mushrooms, how everything is turned to you and becomes so introspective. None of these big questions actually matter at this point.

I also came to understand, that if I want there to be life after death, and if I want people who have passed to still exist in spiritual form. Then go for it! Go and do that! Then that’s what it’ll be. Are mushrooms a spiritual entity in their own right? Sure! If I want, then they will be! Exactly what I’ve come to on previous trips “If you want!”

What? How does that make sense? Well, it appears, that I am creating it all. I don’t just exist in an environment controlled and shaped by another entity. I am the one creating it. Now I’ve heard of this before. People write in trip reports that they realise that they are God. It sounds absurd. But, Yes! We are all God! We, or in my case, I, created everything! Typical metaphors, would be. You’re not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean. You created the ocean! You’re not a branch a tree. You are the tree, that you created!

Also, the trip isn’t happening to me. I am the trip!

I’ve always seen mushrooms as a bit of a blank slate. “We will be whatever you want us to be”. And its absolutely true. My problem is that I’m agnostic, and analytical. In previous trips, I’ve sat and watched visualisations appear, felt like I was in communication with external entities. The mushrooms themselves or spiritual entities that I can only describe as a “them”. I can really get into it. But then I stand back again, and say “Was that really happening? Or was it just my brain going crazy because I took mushrooms?” I avoid blindly going down a belief system no matter how real it can feel. Whenever I ask questions if this is going on in my own physical brain or beyond. It would go quiet. There would be no answer.

Now I understand why.

The reality is this is all going on outside my physical brain, if I want it to be. Because ultimately it is up to me whether it is or not. I am creating it all! I am literally God! If I want spiritual realms to exist, then they will! Because I would be the one to create them! The very fabric of existence is being created by me!

And this is where we need to understand that by saying “me” is multifaceted. At baseline, in normal physical reality. I am unable to just change something to anything I want. I can’t just magically create a million pounds to appear in my bank account. You could say that part of me is living in my own creation. I am playing a video game I am not aware that I wrote.

And what about the come up? Where I spoke about needing spiritual guidance? And now I’m talking about being God? Yes, because that part of me needed spiritual guidance, and that’s where I was at that time.

But what about other people? Did I create them too? Are they not real? Well, this is collective consciousness. Branches and leaves of the tree. All belonging to the same tree. So you are God too! Because it ultimately boils down to a single collective consciousness.

I also realised that everything exists, because I exist. I am the centre of it all, I always have been. I don’t experience life in third person. If I die, then so does existence.

And all this became a thought loop that was so hard to get out of. I went over this, over and over again. Because of course, my agnostic self is standing back from all this and questioning it. And all I was getting, was “Choose a path and go with it!”. Live in a world where spirits exist, and mushrooms are an alien entity guiding humanity forward in evolution, if that’s what I want! Because whatever it is I want, and believe in, is real, and true for me. By wanting it, believing in it, makes it real because I create it!

And this is where the frustration and loop came in. Because my agnostic self struggles to just set a belief system in motion. And how nice and relaxing would it be? To just be on a path without worrying about the rest of it. Even all this is a belief system right?

Turning this inside out. Is it my agnostic self that has caused this conclusion? Maybe my physical self has created reality and as such the death of my physical self is also the death of reality. It would be from my perspective at least anyway. Everything I perceive is from my perspective remember. In which case we are back to where we started. There is no answer to if there is life after death.

So a profound understanding of how everything works is great and all. But there is a problem with that. The magic is gone. Once you understand that everything is whatever you want it to be, because you create it. Then what is there to discover? What is there to study? What is there to work out? It’s like realising Santa Claus isn’t real. The magic of Christmas is now gone. This is why we are born not knowing. It’s why our awareness of the bigger picture is restricted. Because it makes everything mysterious and magical. Being here in this physical reality with a very limited understanding is the best place to be. Because we don’t have the answers. And that way we just live our lives the way we think we should. Let’s go back to the video game metaphor. Are you going to enjoy the video game you created as much as other people who play it? Who have to discover it, learn the secrets, figure out how to win? Not to mention appreciating the magic of it all, because they don’t have a concept of how all the code and programming works to bring this game to life!

Extending the trip.

3 hours 30 minutes in and the peak is over. I’m coming down and feeling more grounded. I needed to just enjoy the trip now! The peak was profound, intense, and difficult. The God complex thought loop which seemed to go on forever was just getting annoying to be honest. And I wanted to just live in the trip and enjoy it without analysing it. But it’s so difficult to stop doing that.

I put on the headphones again, put on my favourite joyful mushroom music and went back outside to my back garden. I actually felt great at this point! I stood at the pool and saw a dragonfly. That reminds me of someone I once knew who sadly passed away. The Dragonfly was her spirit animal. Was that her coming to say hi? Maybe! It’s up to me isn’t it to decide that. The signs I left around the house reminding me I was tripping and that I was OK, was nice to see. They acted as a grounding and a reassurance. I’m still here, I’m all good!

I actually found myself reminiscing on the come up. Yes that awful come up that I spoke about. But there was just something to appreciate about that sense of magic and unknown and almost a reliance on those higher than you to carry you through and guide. It’s like being able to let someone else drive for a while, and it's in its own way is relaxing. Despite it being unpleasant, it was magical!

As I continued to come down and the mushrooms fade away. I decided to extend the trip some more. To try and enjoy the trip more. We are about 4 hours in now since starting. So smoked a bit of hash (THC/CBD Cannabis). And was sat outside writing some stuff up.

Probably about 30 minutes after smoking that hash. I got my wish. Because all of a sudden, I started feeling awful stomach ache again and not feeling good. I’m trying to ignore it for a bit. But no, I’m really feeling sick now. But at least if I am sick then I’m not throwing the trip. I went back inside to go lay on the bed. When suddenly it really hit! I started feeling really fuzzy. I realised exactly what was happening, and I quickly dived onto the sofa laying down on my front. I knew from experience that I was about to faint. I was so glad to have caught myself. On reflection I probably should have acted a bit sooner.

The cannabis absolutely re-ignited the mushrooms and I shot right back up there again. I was sweating, and yeah it was a bit of a jolt physically. Perhaps I smoked too much too quick. But it was about 20 minutes after when it suddenly hit.

It did subside pretty quickly and I wasn’t sick, and remained present throughout. I spent some time just laying on the sofa, stroking the cat who just seemed to sit with me for a while. Visuals were going crazy again. But I felt good, it was good, I was chilled now. And all was fine.

Come Down

Come down was fine. Felt a bit sad, as it was all over. But I also felt happy to be coming back. A little bit of a contradiction I know. The Cannabis of course gave me the munchies and I sat and watched some comedy (Cunk on Britain) and was just howling with laughter. I had to keep pausing it because everything was just 10x funnier than it would be normally. That’s a fun part of psilocybin!

I had dinner and ate loads! I was feeling fine, a little wobbly with a bit of an afterglow. Words on the screen were still moving around somewhat and I was experiencing light open eye and closed eye visuals.

I just chilled and watched stuff. Decided to reflect on the trip tomorrow and not worry about anything at the moment, as it was intense.

I managed to sleep a pretty normal nights sleep. That’s why we start this mid-morning, so we are back to baseline in time for regular sleep.

Final Thoughts / Lessons Learned

This was a well executed heroic mushroom trip from preparations, safeguarding and managing through the process. However there is always something to be learned, something to improve upon.

I’m really not sure what I can do about the physically difficult come up to try and minimise it. I think it just needs to be accepted as a right of passage really.

Be mindful that if a stomach ache comes back during come down, or after using some cannabis, then to act instantly because it can very quickly escalate.

We are the masters of our own creation in which this part of us is living in. There is so much more to us than just being a physical human being. But the true magic and joy of life happens because we don’t know the answers.

I mentioned a couple of intentions at the beginning, business decision, relationship. These did not come up during the trip. But perhaps there was a broader message in all of it to do with this, that isn’t exactly apparent but may naturally surface in time a part of integration.

Now starts the process of integration that will take some time, in which this trip report forms part of.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 119276
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 44
Published: Jan 28, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Alone (16), Personal Preparation (45), Entities / Beings (37), General (1)