DOSE: T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00		oral	Magnesium
T+ 0:00		oral	Vitamin B-6
T+ 0:45	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:30	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:30	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

86 kg

A First Experience With Ecstasy

Prior experience: This was my first time taking MDMA - my prior experiences with recreational drugs were limited to a sporadic handful of cannabis experiences (with varying degrees of success) and a microdose of mushrooms (which had no noticeable effect on me).

My guide for this trip was Kibble, who has used MDMA on many occasions - I felt very safe with the benefit of her experiences. She had tested the MDMA and weighed it into capsules. She recommended we ramp up the dose slowly for my first time in case of any adverse reactions. This seemed like a good idea to me as well. She also recommended we take magnesium (to lessen bruxism) and vitamin C, which we did with the initial dose.

Some 45 minutes after the first dose of 50mg, I had not noticed any effects (positive or negative) so we took the second dose. Shortly after this I started to feel a slight sense of unease and antsyness, which Kibble told me was normal. I decided that I wanted to look out of the window - the fresh air and flowers in the garden were pleasant. Soon after that I told Kibble that I couldn't stop grinning - a pleasant sensation.

Kibble and I had made a joint playlist of music we liked (half it songs that she likes, half of it songs that I like) - about 7 hours worth. We put it on random shuffle so neither of us would know what was coming up next.

At some point soon after the second dose, a string of songs I had chosen came up in a row. I think it was during this that the MDMA really started to kick in for me. I experienced a really lovely sense of elation and happiness - it was really living up to the name "Ecstasy". The closest similar experience I can compare it to is when I go running and the scenery is gorgeous, I feel like I can just run for hours, and the music is just perfect - a few times I've had similarly ecstatic feelings as a "runner's high". Kibble suggested this was due to endorphins.

The music was inspiring me to sing along - I mentioned to Kibble "apparently I like to sing a lot when I'm on ecstasy". It felt a little bit like drunkenness in that respect, albeit without the fuzziness of thinking. I was also inspired to talk - telling her about how one song was generated by a tiny program (the length of a tweet) running on a very old computer, and about how Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier was written to show off the possibilities of the newly-discovered equal temperament piano tuning scheme.

The ecstatic feelings didn't last long, but faded into a pleasant (but less intense) sensation of feeling safe and comfortable and energised. Kibble had brought some coloured fairy lights in bottles - these were fun to look at though I think she got more out of them than me. She mentioned that they make little trails due to the movements of the eyes or head - I saw the same thing though it didn't seem all that much different to normal: an "oh yeah" rather than a "wow" for me. Looking at them was pleasant in the same way that looking out of the window at the garden had been earlier.

As the third dose hadn't seemed to change anything for me and I otherwise felt fine, Kibble let me take a fourth dose (the final of the 7 capsules she had prepared). The fourth dose didn't seem to change anything for me either - I didn't return to the particularly heightened sense of ecstasy but just maintained a pleasant level. It might have just made the whole experience last longer. I later told Kibble that (just from a point of view of calibration, not any sort of regret) it might have been better for me to stick to a total of 100mg for my first experience, but of course I have no way of knowing if this is true having only had the experience I had.

I had had a large lunch so that I wouldn't get too hungry at dinner time but Kibble had suggested we bring snacks of fruit, chocolate and crisps to eat later in the evening. These proved very welcome.

Kibble massaged my head and neck (nice in any circumstances) and then I returned the favour, continuing on to a whole body massage. This turned sexual, though (as she had warned) PIV sex wasn't really working. She told me that the internet has a mixed opinion about sex on ecstasy - for some it increases the desire but makes the biology less cooperative. I was content to just cuddle and massage, though.

Kibble had suggested that we bring water bottles (as glasses can be tricky) but I found I had no problems drinking water from a glass (my water bottle was still useful for refilling my glass without having to go downstairs to the sink, though). Despite drinking plenty of water (I generally pay attention to my water intake anyway) urination proved tricky with a long period of "it's getting closer" before the flow actually started. Kibble reassured me that this was normal. I also commented on some kaleidoscopic images I saw when I closed my eyes - I think Kibble found it amusing that I was commented on this despite otherwise finding the effects of the drug relatively mild.

The most unpleasant side effect was the gurning. It didn't feel like I was making unnatural faces or grinding my teeth but there was a definite ache in my jaw muscles as if I had been keeping them tense without even realising. It almost felt like I had just been smiling too much, the sort of discomfort one might find at a particularly funny comedy show. I tried to find the tense muscles and relax them - I think that trying to let my jaw/mouth hang open loosely (which I was able to do after a bit of initial jerkiness in the affected muscles) might have helped a bit. Kibble also suggested chewing gum (which she had thoughtfully brought). This gave a little relief but fairly temporary. It will be interesting to see in my next experience if I can be more aware of this effect (now that I know what it's like) and try to mitigate it earlier with the relaxing exercises. Kibble's voice definitely seemed to be affected by the gurning. I didn't feel like my own was any different to normal but I'm not sure I would have noticed if it was.

At some point Kibble changed the music to a couple of "chill out" albums she had prepared for the purpose (almost all of the songs I had added to the playlist had played by this point so I was happy to switch music). However, I wasn't really enjoying either of these albums so we found about an hour's worth of other music on my laptop that we might both enjoy. We drifted off to sleep to this sometime around 8 hours after the first dose. We knew we couldn't sleep in too late the next morning so didn't want to leave going to sleep any later. I didn't feel too much the worse for wear the next day other than being tired (and over-full from a particularly ambitious cooked breakfast) so I'll be sure that the next experience will take place somewhere where I can sleep in as late as I want to the next morning.

Over the next couple of days I continued to notice a few minor effects - an unusual bounciness and energy in the morning (I was delightfully productive at work) and a freneticness of the (otherwise fairly normal) patterns I see when I close my eyes in the evening. Kibble reassured me that these were nothing to worry about. Indeed there were no residual effects after a few days. Though I do keep thinking "ooo, I wonder how that would look/sound/feel on E" when listening to certain music, looking at certain animations/patterns/coloured lights.

Overall this was an extremely positive experience for me - one I'm very glad to have had (particularly with such a lovely experienced guide). I am hoping that there will more such experiences in the future - I'm very interested to experience it in a larger group, in other environments, and in combination with other substances. I'm also interested in experimenting with the doses - I wonder if taking 100mg at once to begin with rather than spaced out doses of 50mg will result in a more intense initial high. And, if so, what effects I might experience from taking even higher doses at once.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118976
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 46
Published: Jul 18, 2025	Views: Not Supported
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
MDMA (3) : General (1), Guides / Sitters (39), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)