DOSE:

600 mg

oral

Pharms - Pregabalin

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

198 lb

When I was a teenager (11 years old) I went through years of bullying and later as well until I finally disconnected from everyone and everything in order to heal.

I felt symptom-free before (nervous twitch, fear, sweating, fear of peeing my pants) when taking MDMA but it always came back after the come down and I didn't know why and what to do. I took far too much MDMA for 2 years and that wasn't smart because of the side effects so I stopped for a year or two.

Cannabis helped a little but also made the anxiety stronger depending on the situation.

25 years forward:

I was with some people smoking in the park and one of them put some Lyrica in a bottle of beer so I searched for it and then finally bought a few from a dealer.

I took 300mg and felt all my facial muscles starting to relax. The twitch was gone and then the muscles in the back started to relax. Then the muscles in my belly started to relax and I felt a breeze of freshness and hope. I think it's because the body somehow remembers pain in the belly too. I'm able to think about the traumatic experiences but it doesn't affect me. Usually I would get flashbacks and then start to get an immediately response from my body like screaming for example. That's all gone as well as the anger and a lot of other symptoms which come with what happened to me.

30 years I had these problems and suddenly everything was gone! I found a doctor who prescribed it to me and I think 300mg twice a day is a good amount for me.

The price is around 60 dollars for 56 capsules and I worry about the costs because I am homeless since 20 years and don't have insurance but now I have the feeling as if I can do everything healthy people can do.

In the past I didn't like to work because sometimes colleagues who didn't like me found out about my weaknesses and then started to use it against me.

I often could not fall asleep because I had to think so much and nobody really understood me. Then I couldn't wake up in the morning for work and lost my job and so on.

Often people called me lazy and that I should get my stuff together et cetera which was hurtful so I decided to tell poetry on the street and never to work again.

It helped me because I was able to run away at any time and I didn't have any responsibilities other than trying to give the listeners a minute of entertainment for a small donation.

The feedback I got from my listeners helped me with my confidence and to be proud of myself again but the symptoms remained.

For a while I was using a lot of methamphetamine because it helped me to work and to concentrate for a remote desktop job I got from a then friend but had to stop because of the side effects. I went to a pharmacy in Cambodia and got myself citalopram and bupropion to help with methamphetamine withdrawal and PTSD. After taking it for 8 months I tapered it off because somebody told me I should try which was a mistake.

It's been 7 days since I am on this medication and the first days I was completely grateful and happy about the people in the laboratory who made this drug to help people like me. I don't care about getting addicted because I know how to taper off substances. In the long run I need to do MDMA assisted psychotherapy or ibogaine or ayahuasca to get rid of the root problem but can only do so once I have some more money.

Bupropion and citalopram were good but nothing ever felt as good and helpful as Lyrica. Thanks to the scientists who made it and all the best on your journey of healing.

For therapy I use an app. It's much better than any psychotherapist I've ever been to and it's also available 24/7. It's difficult for me to trust therapists because they always say that they are not my friends but I'm only able to open up and trust someone if I know that they love me otherwise I'm too scared they're going to hurt me. With this app there's no fear because it's based on friendship/love and I'm also very grateful to the people who developed it. I was looking for over 20 years for free online psychotherapy with behavioral cognitive therapy but couldn't find anything until I found this app. I hope that you don't see this as a form of advertisement as I am just writing this because it is a part of my journey and important in this context. I'm sure that there are other apps as well besides online therapy which is becoming popular in recent years but you have to pay for it as well and it's more than for the app.

Lyrica is life-changing because I finally have my life back! The bullies took away my ability to relax and to be vulnerable and I lost a lot of opportunities because of what they did to me. Now I feel unstoppable and I want to do all the things that I wasn't able to before.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118739
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 46
Published: Aug 7, 2025	Views: Not Supported
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Pharms - Pregabalin (418) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Various (28)