DOSE:	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	insufflated	Unknown	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

84 lb

These experiences include me and my boyfriend, both 19-year-old students who recreationally use drugs at raves, parties and occasionally to chill out during quiet days or in the evening. We have both used an array of fun drugs together including LSD, mushrooms, weed, 2-cb, MDMA crystals, ecstasy pills and ketamine.

Before my boyfriend and I started dating, I had never really used drugs, just weed. I was always curious but none of my friends at the time were. I expressed my desire to try drugs to my boyfriend, L, before him and I got together. He had tried them before and as a friendly thing at the time, him and his friends, who were my extended friends, went on an acid trip together.

Once we became a couple we tried more substances and it was fun and I felt safe, we never did anything too extreme.

Our most used substance was ketamine, we used it when going out to parties and as it was a funny drug we often used it after seeing friends by ourselves. We enjoyed how it made every song we listened to sound amazing, and the funny conversations we’d have, and the wobbly legs one obtains after snorting it.

I started going to university in Cardiff which meant a new source of ketamine. My boyfriend always used to order the drug online via the dark web before this, but as our use was often spontaneous, we began buying from a street dealer. I hadn’t had much experience with the drug before so this new street stuff seemed fine and regular to me. I would always end up doing too much, never ending up in a k hole but in a similar state of derealisation that left my boyfriend concerned. When I was doing the lines/ bumps, I never felt like I was doing an extortionate amount compared to when we would do it back at home with the stuff L bought online.

We were doing some lines after a party in a friends university kitchen and once we had enough we decided to go back to my flat. On the walk home L was explaining a horrible experience he had just had. He felt like he was doing time loops, and that the walls of the kitchen were closing in on him, making him feel small and trapped in his own head, unable to escape the warp of time, which he felt had been stripped away from him. He told me about a time he did acid and ketamine at the same time before, and how the experience in the kitchen was similar to the acid trip; time warps and isolation. He almost started crying telling me about what he had just experienced, stating what we were using was not normal ketamine but something more sinister.

Despite this, we kept using it, although less regularly now. The drug was cheap and we both hated drinking.

The next bad experience we both had was at a gathering at a friends house. We decided we wanted some ketamine, so got some off of a local dealer for £20 a gram, a decent street price. At first everything seemed regular. As we consumed more of the white powder, things took a turn. I didn’t realise how out of it we both were until the effects of the drug started to wear off. We were in the living room, and then all of a sudden without memory of moving, we were on the floor of our friends bedroom. During the short space of time, about 30 minutes, I felt like I was in some sort of nightmare. The odd thing was that my boyfriend and I experienced the same sensation. We both thought that at one point we were outside on a balcony that was hanging over a city, and during this I felt L clinging to me tightly. There was no balcony in our friends house, and our other friends were watching us the entire time but could not tell us much of what happened as they were also on the stuff. Once L and I came to our senses, we were both confused and I felt a huge sense of unease and fear rush over me. What had I just taken? We guessed it was PCP, I don’t know much about the drug but hear it has similar effects, and can be mistaken for ketamine which is why some dealers sell it. The next day my boyfriend messaged the dealer to ask if it was actually ketamine and told him we had abnormal experiences. The dealer said it was pure, but of course one can never trust them as they don’t even know what goes into the drugs theyre selling. We also had not mixed any other substances into our drug taking.

The second horrible experience was with the ketamine we bought in Cardiff, and it is the last time we will use it. We were bored and decided to pick up a gram for old times sake. Everything started off fine, and we hadn’t taken very much. About 45 minutes into the trip things got strange. I got the same out of body sensation where I felt very much in my head. It was as if I had passed out for 10 minutes then came back around, except I was still awake and moving, according to L. this had happened a couple times to me in the club, I would always cling onto L and apparently say things like “we need to reconvene” and at that point L would always take us home. Whatever “we need to reconvene” means, I don’t know. Once I came to, I noticed L acting strangely. He sat up on the bed and started talking to me strangely. As I was still in a state of loss and confusion myself, I cant remember what he was saying but I remember I felt absolutely terrified. In my intoxicated state of mind and knowing the drug was not of the best quality, I truly believed I had lost L and he had fallen into a drug induced disability. I thought his brain had been fried and he’d turned into a shell of himself. Not knowing this wasn’t the case at the time I began to cry. L’s breathing sped up, as if he was about to have a panic attack. He lead down on my chest and I cried. I was confused and scared, it was just us on this drug in a room by ourselves. I was considering options to call for help, including the police. After a couple of minutes of L lying on my chest I said I was going to find my water bottle. He sprung up and found my bottle on the floor. I was confused and said to him “are you okay?”. He said he was fine and we both sat down and he told me “we’re going to feel weird for a bit, okay?”. I agreed but didn’t understand what he meant. We had both had separate but scary experiences. As L is the one more experienced with drugs he has a certain responsibility to look out for me as his girlfriend. I felt bad about this and wish I could have helped him more, but I couldn’t cope mentally.

We recounted our experiences and they aligned, but at the same time were so diverse from one another. That night I was scared to sleep out of fear either L or myself would die in our sleep. Eventually we slept, after sharing how grateful we were that each of us were alive and okay. L explained how he thought I had died, and how he didn’t know if anything was real. He thought he was back at his friends house on his acid trip doing ketamine and the past 7 months of us being affiliated with each other were not real.

In a way both of us are grateful for the experience. We learnt to not take each other for granted, and of course not touch the evil ketamine from Cardiff ever again. Our friends who have used the same ketamine all say it is strange. I doubt its ketamine, but it was also not the stuff we used at our friends house. It will remain a mystery, and it was probably best to test it beforehand. Being young and naïve we never think to do this, but maybe it should be part of our practice.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118676
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jun 1, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Ketamine (31) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), What Was in That? (26), Second Hand Report (42), Not Applicable (38)