DOSE:	150 ug	oral	1S-LSD
	112 - 225 ug	oral	1D-LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

88 kg

A friend had introduced me to LSD in a calm environment and on a low dosis of 112mug 1D-LSD. At that time I experienced a few different phases: first everything was extremely funny and I had to laugh a lot. Then I saw intense visuals (meaning colors and patterns everywhere). Lastly I just felt more emotionally connected to myself and my surroundings, but in a pleasant way. This lead to very meaningful conversations with my friends. In total, this first LSD experience thrilled me and I really wanted to do it again.

This lead to the second time I took it almost a year later. This time, I thought I knew what I was getting into but hell was I wrong. I got together with my three closest friends and we booked an apartment for the "trip". We did some other activities before and then in the evening we put some pizzas in the oven while taking the LSD. This time, I took 150mug of 1S-LSD. I had heard of a dosis where a strange "ego-loss" could happen but I wanted to stay away from it and basically just repeat the experience I had last time. According to my reseach, with the dosis I took I should have been fine.

Right after we took the [1S-LSD], I felt the familiar first phase coming in. Everything was extremely funny and I had to laugh so hard that tears came into my eyes all the time. After that, I experienced very strong bodyload and visuals. I could not really move/think/talk anymore since I got lost in details easily. For example, I wanted to eat my pizza but I constantly forgot how to do it. Instead, I watched the patterns and colors I saw everywhere. For some time, I could see the mood in the room as colors, too. Orange meant good, blue meant bad.

My friends also had their issues and this would turn out to be problematic for me. One of them had only taken a small dose of LSD and started to play on his Nintento Switch. And I simply could not handle it. For example, when he cried out because his character had died, I got hit by this reaction out of nowhere. When he talked to me, I could not understand whether he was in conversation or on his device. With another friend I felt very disconnected, although he was the one who I had the original trip with. Since I was also emotional, this hurt me a lot. The third friend seemed to be on my level of craziness, though. I could connect with him quite well.

At some point in the "crazy visual pattern" phase I suddenly entered a whole new phase: the ego-loss I wanted to avoid. It was totally unexpected and for me it felt like the change happened in a second without prior notice. In one moment I was seeing visuals and being myself and in the next moment I was lying in the bed and without any senses at all. I could not see, hear, smell etc. I only felt emotions, but extremely strong. Since I did not know what was happening, I utterly and completely panicked. I have never felt something so terrifying in my life, not even close. I heard voices and saw images, but only in my mind while my whole being was focused on this panic paralysis. Some part of my consciousness knew that I had been tripping, but this only deepened the panic. The worst pictures ever went through my head: that something terrible had happened and as a result my kids, my wife or my close friends are injured or dead. Putting this in words is just too weak for the sensation I had. I do not know how long I lied there but after a time the experience changed into a weird time travel. I went back and forth in time, saw situations of the evening just like in a movie but with altered senses. For example, I once had only an extreme focus on audio. Another time I felt my inner body and my organs quite clear and this became vivid while breathing in. It would have been almost funny if the panic would not have come back every now and then.

When I finally became myself again I had the feeling of coming up from a deeper air level and had to crawl out of it. When I realized I was out of the time travel I was so relieved and happy. I could be sure since I saw many events of the evening many times during my ego loss but this awaking moment was new. The integration phase of this ego-loss took very long. Of course I had deep conversations during the next two days with my friends but I took the panic with me for the better part of the next week and I still have the memory even months after. It was not a totally bad experience, though, since the focus on feelings was something new to me .

Therefore, this is not the end of my report. Three months after my ego-loss, I visited the friend I did the first trip with again. We booked a hut in the middle of nowhere and planned to do a quiet trip without any disconnection since this clearly was a problem last time. We spent some time together, did a very good preparation of the room so it would feel positive, cozy and calm. We also brought a playlist just for the occasion. After the preparation, I took 150mug of 1-D LSD but for over one hour I did not feel anything more than slightly weird. Therefore, I took 75mug more. Right after that, we lied down next to each other, closed our eyes and just listened to the music.

I did not realize it at the time, but almost instantly I went into ego-loss again. This might seem strange, but after my last experience I wanted to avoid it again but I thought the danger was under control because of the positive environment and because I hadn't felt effects of the first dosis. This time, the ego-loss felt more like a dream of colours and emotions. I felt like being in a river. I had strong emotions but no panic and overall a positive mood, also because felt a strong connection to my friend lying next to me that I could not explain. However, at some point I felt very sad and got up to open my eyes and get out of "the flow" because of the strong sadness. My friend got up as well and reported the same. This might sound insane but we later worked out that our minds must have connected at some level to enable us feeling the same. We also identified the cause of the sadness within one of us. We could thus share this part of the mind with each other - I would never believe someone who would have told me such a thing was possible.

This was not the end, though. I lied down again and instantly went into ego-loss again. This time I recognized it as the experience was similar to last time. I was in a time travel situation but the start changed everything: I started with what I thought would be the end point of the time travel and I saw my friend playing guitar next to me. This positive image enabled me to feel safe and secure so I could surrender myself to the experience. I had very strong emotions again, both happy and sad, but never the sheer panic from last time. Some part of me knew that I was fine in the real world. So I could just let go and feel everything. My time travel was simply breathtaking. For example, at one point I was feeling my breathing deeply and the playlist hit "Anoana" from the band "Heilung". I fully went with the voice - breathing in and out into the sky with 10000% commitment and sensation. It was a moment of such ecstasy that I cannot find the words. When I went back to be myself again, we had a long integration phase and the time to talk about it. I feel so grateful for what I experienced in this second ego-loss that I have no reservations against it anymore. I just know that the setting that I go into the ego-loss can be the element deciding whether it will be traumatically panic or a stunningly positive event full of energy.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118664
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Sep 7, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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