DOSE:

oral

Unknown

(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

195 lb

Before I begin, I should note that I have several disorders including officially undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder ("officially undiagnosed" meaning my psychiatrist didn't add it to my record because she felt it would affect my chances for employment) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, severe Social Anxiety and Suicidal Depression. I'm also on the high functioning end of the Autism Spectrum. I was about 8 months settled into the new home where my mental health was turning for the better, and I was in a particularly manic state as a result.

I've since wisened up to buying shady vape shop "mushroom" bars that contain all manner of god knows what, but after my first experience with one that I'm now certain was muscarin, I got cocky. I got a different and slightly spendier brand of mushroom bar, and I figured this one wouldn't be too much trouble to deal with and would put me in a gentle buzz like last time.

Big mistake.

Once I was home and safely settled into my bedroom with some water, I got ready. I ate 3/4ths of the chocolate bar at 6 PM and waited for it to set in by putting on some gameplay footage and watching. I noticed I was involuntarily winking with both eyes and my extremities were twitchier than usual, but I didn't think much of it. About 20 minutes into the gameplay video, the room stretched out and expanded into an empty void where my bedroom ceiling used to be, and brilliant trails of green light ran down the wall corners, with a box of light forming where my ceiling used to be.

Even though I was laying down, I felt like I was falling. I had the sense the floor dropped under my bed, and I was plummeting to my doom. I closed my eyes and what happened next is something I can't even describe. I *think* I had a seizure of some sort, because every muscle in my body tensed up and my extremities jerked and twitched like crazy. I drooled all over myself and made an unintelligible noise. I was terrified that I was going to die then and there.

And then a voice in my mind spoke up. Told me that I *am* dead, and plummeting to Hell for every screw up I've made in my life. That I'm undeserving of Heaven. And that's just how it is and that's how it always will be.

But I didn't want it to be all there was. And the voice asked, then what are you going to do about it?

Looking back at this, I think now that whatever was in the "mushroom" bar wanted me to fight back and take control, because that's what I did. I got up and out of the shadows of Hell, and into a kaleidescopic distortion of my dark bedroom. Though I was tripping pretty hard, I still had enough spatial awareness to recognize where I was and what I was doing. (I notice that even when I'm blackout drunk, I keep a single foot in reality. That was a huge blessing in this situation, since I didn't have a tripsitter and didn't think I needed one.)

Once I was out of bed, I went to take a shower, as the voice in my head was guiding me towards it (you're sweaty and smelly, you haven't showered in two days. And clean your nasty teeth while you're at it!) The water was a lot hotter than usual and I felt like I was melting into the drain with the water and bathroom tiles, which was a strangely relaxing sensation. I'm not sure how long my shower and brushing my teeth took, but when I left the bathroom, I felt fresh and new, like I was born again.

The voice nudged me towards the kitchen to start some chores I had left undone. While I cleaned the area, I had the sense that some part of me had detached from "me" and was puppeteering me from the outside, guiding my hands as I did the dishes and pointing out spots I missed when I mopped. A clear image of a garage filled with interesting junk from my childhood home was in mind.

I realized who this voice belonged to when it suggested I make some hot chocolate to ease myself with. It was me-or rather, it was the detached inner child and superego I had callously abused and taken for granted with my callous and cowardly behavior in the past. She was furious and hurt, but she didn't hate me. She was disappointed, like the rest of my ex-friends and family when I let them down in several life incidents I will not describe here, for personal reasons. She wanted me to do better and stop running away from my problems.

I wound up knocking my electric kettle off the counter when I tried to fill it for the hot chocolate. The whole time chores were being done and chocolate was being made, I was moving in an awkward mix of robotic stiffness and twirling around just to stay on my feet. I had to stop and wait out the shimmering greens and clouds in my peripheral at points when they became too much to power through. I was extremely lucky the kettle was the only thing that took a fall. I could have easily shattered my mug on the floor.

When I finished making my hot chocolate, the hallucinations started dying down and I could move more easily. I checked the clock, and it was 9:42 PM. I settled in bed, finished the hot chocolate, shot my best friend a long rambling message about how much I love them at the nudging of my inner child, and passed out after watching the asbestos swirl around my ceiling light like a galaxy. I woke up the next day, and I noticed everything seemed to have more color to it and I got lost in watching the trees from my patio.

While I'm not entirely sure what was in that bar, I'm certain 4-Ac0 was present in some capacity, given the short come up. I would not suggest buying these supplements to experience what I did, because you never know what's in them to begin with. I could have easily wound up poisoning myself with the last two bars I got.

But I don't regret trying them. While it's far too risky and expensive to keep buying these things, having this experience was terrifying, but worth the danger.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118599
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Jul 31, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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4-AcO-DMT (387), Unknown (120), Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Depression (15), What Was in That? (26), Alone (16)