Uniform Bliss, Expensive and Empty
Xenon
Citation: HyperBorromean. "Uniform Bliss, Expensive and Empty: An Experience with Xenon (exp118351)". Erowid.org. Jul 16, 2025. erowid.org/exp/118351
| DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
inhaled | Xenon | (gas) | |
| T+ 0:20 | inhaled | Xenon | (gas) |
| BODY WEIGHT: | 150 lb |
After prep and with a 4 liter balloon in hand, I put on some heavy earmuffs and got ready to lay down in a dark room with a pillow beneath my head. Music was playing lightly in the background, which was nice but slightly distracting, and something that mildly annoyed me later in the trip. I did a quick few breaths to get as much oxygen into my lungs as possible, exhaled the air, then inhaled as much xenon as I could. Then I waited for maybe ten seconds, breathed back into the balloon, and took a second inhale of xenon.
At this point all of my experience was reverberating pretty heavily and my sense of location and bodily solidity was dropping fast, so I exhaled as much xenon as I could into the balloon and handed it to my friend. This was quite the curious operation, as I was so far gone that intentions seemed quite unlikely to cohere enough to actually execute, but I managed to do it anyway. I had the vague sense that I had the mental capacity of my 7 year old self or so and was doing my best to follow some novel, complex instructions as I did my best to just pinch the head of the balloon so I could hand it off for my friend to tie.
I managed the handoff, which resulted in a great sense of relief that was amplified by the reverberation in the nitrous (sic?), and I laid back onto my pillow with the sense of having accomplished some great feat. At this point, my memory of the past few seconds was fading fast, and what remained was a very abstract impression of what had occurred. It was like the process of abstraction was happening many times faster than normal, so memories of a few seconds ago that would have been crisp and concrete were instead fuzzy, almost metaphorical.
As I noticed this, I did my best to check my memory by memorizing some numbers that were on the wall, and I did manage to encode that a certain piece of plywood was sold or something like that in 2022, and that the number 09 was somehow relevant there as well. After I was satisfied there, I pretty much just let everything go, and my mind drifted around, thinking about atoms in empty space composing into stars.
I feel that is a semantic reflection of the dynamics of my experience at the time, it was as if every microscopic speck of experiential stuff was just gravitating together into a uniform mass and humming nicely. Usually there is a sort of fractal structure to the way experiential stuff conglomerates into objects and complex thoughts, but here stuff was super flat and uniform. This also came with the sense that almost all of experience, save for some little tiny bits, was just empty space, similar to a physical star.
About 5 minutes after humming along in a bliss so uniform and empty of solidity that episodic memory was basically nonfunctional, stuff started to recohere and the reverb became less intense
About 5 minutes after humming along in a bliss so uniform and empty of solidity that episodic memory was basically nonfunctional, stuff started to recohere and the reverb became less intense
After getting up and chatting a little about the experience, I tried rebreathing what was left, and it was actually quite effective still! I immediately tried to move my hand, and I got some of the strangest tracer-type effects I have ever seen. It was like I was both uncertain of where my hand was in space and where my perspective was in time, so the sense of this was that the region of consciousness that was my hand and the rest of everything that was tracking time were trying to mutually communicate and clarify their positions, and the end result of this process was a long moving blur, but a blur that seemed sharp whenever a particular snapshot of it was taken.
I also tried tracking projectile motion and got a similar effect here; I would say this is roughly similar to how dreams sometimes don’t render their narratives linearly, but rather become coherent from every point in their timeline at once, even as physical time is still linear. This is not a xenon-specific effect though as far as I can see, it was just especially obvious to me at this time. If I was looking correctly while on nitrous I am pretty sure I would see this there, too.
Unfortunately, I did not break the hedons per second world record; a good formless concentration state (Jhana) tops this in quality and sometimes intensity as well, and fully lights-out cessation wins by a landslide in quality and often quantity too, as judged by the aftereffects. Overall, this was a worthy experience for science and satisfaction of personal curiosity, but definitely not something that my wallet wants to repeat.
| Exp Year: 2024 | ExpID: 118351 |
| Gender: Male | |
| Age at time of experience: 21 | |
| Published: Jul 16, 2025 | Views: Not Supported |
| [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ] | |
| Xenon (220) : General (1), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17) | |
COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
| Erowid Experience Vault | © 1995-2024 Erowid |