DOSE:

repeated

sublingual

Pharms - Lorazepam

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

At the time of this event, I was prescribed lorazepam 0.5mg SL tablets as a PRN for anxiety and a fuckton of other issues that were undiagnosed at the time. Naturally, since I can’t do anything in moderation, I began abusing the stuff. I would usually take about 2mg but on this day, I had saved up enough that there was a fair amount in a bottle I brought with me to university.

Excited to feel something other than the unending emptiness that always tortured me, I took 2-4 at a time, holding them under my tongue until they dissolved. Although lorazepam doesn’t often cause euphoria, as someone with constant, high levels of anxiety, the lessening of it is glorious.

At some point, I black out, as I often would , but stumbled my way to all my classes and kept up with texting my parents and whatnot. By the time I was heading home on the train, I was thoroughly sedated (as evidenced by pictures taken on Snapchat that I don’t recall taking) and found going up the stairs of the lecture theatre difficult.

I have no memory of it, but I end up on the train, feeling a bit confused but not giving a damn. Then, I’m at my stop and I get off, running up the stairs of the station until I trip or something and smash my head on a railing or a stair—not quite sure which. I don’t remember the impact, but I remember waking up with bloody knees and sobbing about how I wanted to die and how terrible my life was. Two security guys led me out to my dad’s car, where they explained what had happened.

I’m crying all the way home and as I go inside. My mom, dad, and I end up going somewhere to get a treat to cheer me up with. I remember suddenly holding a cookie in my hand and eating it, but nodding off and hallucinating over and over again, which understandably scared the fuck out of my parents. We go home and they tell me to lay down, and my mom asks someone she knows who is a doctor what we should do; she learns that she should check my pupils to see if they’re the same size before going to the ER or anything. In my sedated to the max state, I agree and help her do it. Apparently, they were the same size, so I didn’t have to go to the hospital.

At some point, I’m cooking with my mom, when I say, “I can’t read or understand this.” Again, scared the shit out of my parents, who proceeded to ask me math questions, most/all of which I got wrong.

Then, I’m on the couch sleeping, and my parents can’t wake me up. They shake me, scream at me, do everything they can but I’m not waking up. However, I woke up on my own and said, “Hey!” They were close to calling an ambulance.

I pass out for 12 hours and wake up completely normal, albeit missing memories from the last day. My parents told me all of what happened, and I felt incredibly guilty. I almost attempted suicide because of it, but that’s irrelevant. What is relevant, though, was that when I looked at the bottle the lorazepam had been it, it was empty, so I knew for a fact I took a shit ton.

Anyway, don’t underestimate lorazepam and the whole compulsive redosing thing; it’s a real thing with benzodiazepines, and I’ve experienced it with clonazepam as well.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 118131
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Apr 18, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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Pharms - Lorazepam (79) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Families (41), Addiction & Habituation (10)