DOSE:	3.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis
	20 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

84 kg

Song recommendations:

Somebody home - Snarky Puppy
The Shape of water soundtrack
Heart - Plini

Intro
I DroppeD the mushrooms at 10:10am. They were Cubensis mushrooms. It was 3.5 grams and 5 mins later I took a 4-aco-dmt pill. This is approximately equivalent to 2grams of mushrooms. A total of 5.5grams and Holy Shit it was intense.

I fasted, didn’t eat breakfast. The come up was very quick because within about 20 minutes of dropping (25 for the 4aco, but these can be equated now as the mushrooms take an extra 5 mins for digestion hence the decision), things were indicative of something heavy. The fasting definitely changed the trip’s dynamics because at the 1h:30 time since drop (TSD) mark I basically lost it — in every way possible. 3 things. Crucial to the trip's character was hunger and the constant fear Grandma and Grandad could be suspicious of what’s happening (seeing as I wasn’t planning on leaving the room for several hours).

20 mins in, I hadn’t played much music from the playlist because I was waiting for things to bloom. I had only played 2 songs coming up to the 30 min mark but upon which point I became aware things were not continuing to grow. I stopped the music and waited around. I watched nature videos and existed with bated breath from this point until the 1h:30 TSD mark. The lack of growing of intensity concerned me so I tried to change things up with my thought pattern. I remembered having the same feeling with 3 tabs of acid, where I expected too much of that dose. I tried to accept the intensity and go with what it offers. I did have a creepy auditory hallucination at some point though. A sudden burst of music and voices came out of my speaker, but it wasn’t on. I was momentarily creeped out but ignored it.

The room genuinely was cold because at about 1h TSD I suddenly felt my teeth chatter violently and spontaneously. I had been freezing. It was December. My only words were ‘Cold. Cold. Onsie.’ Primal. Forming coherent thoughts was indeed difficult. I got warmer and things started to get better. My outlook grew more positive.

But I was still longing for something more. Nothing was quite perfect yet. The reality-thought ‘Hunger’ hit my brain, so I ate. Reluctantly this was so, though, for halfway through the banana I gave up. I tried pizza. That tasted awesome. But I wasn’t enjoying it as I normally do. My fasted state was battling with the drug mixture’s appetite suppression. This food was very much needed.

It’s 1h:15 TSD and I continue in my state of bated breathe. I turn off the lights and fully close the blinds. I give things a chance for about 5 mins but still to no avail. I was beginning to get frustrated. I opened the blinds and began stretching. I could really feel the muscles stretch. It was InViGorating. I put the playlist back on. The first song I played according to my Spotify listening history is, well, hard to determine. I remember Beyond by Avishai Cohen coming in near the start of the come up, but this would mean Marea by Fred again started the ascension into mushroom ecstasy, which I didn’t happen.

Everything came to a summit, a climax. All the pieces fell into place. By 1h:30 TSD the food had digested, macros absorbed, the stretching had warmed me up, the heavenly winter morning light shone, and the final puzzle piece, the Music, all came together perfectly. It could be that the 4acodmt fully hit, and maybe this is part of the puzzle. I realise now what the song order is. Bottom first. Underwater Kiss Tickled my delight, then Lift Off by tom Misch and Yussef days did what it says. Lift Off.

I fell to the floor laughing hysterically, like a madman enjoying his psychosis. The music was so GOOD. Just so FUCKING GOOD. I couldn’t stop. The laughing just kept going. The physical and cognitive euphoria was nothing like I had every experienced. I roll around the floor, contorting and flexing my body while the laughing morphed slowly into ecstatic crying. Eventually after about 10 mins of this my tiny remaining vestige of coherent consciousness asked ‘is this laugh-crying going to continue for the whole trip?’ This prompted me to suddenly lie still and rest, contorted in what would’ve looked like an uncomfortable position on my bed. It was not at all unconformable. The softness of my duvet and pillow absorbed me. I groaned in pleasure, with heavy breathing, beads of sweat forming on my brow.

The visuals were also utterly breathtaking. Eyes open, all surfaces were breathing; patterns of yellow, blue, red and green filled all physical space. The patterns were not exactly geometric, though. They were more like melting flowing masses of colours. Eyes closed, the same colours were arranged into point like structures that roughly resembled eyes. But there was no impression that these eyes were looking at me, more so like they just sat there on an interconnected mosaic. The streaming morning light also came alive with its own colours, the specks of dust caught in its beam, flickering with an elevated existence.

About 1h:50 TSD, I tune back into the music and smile. The smile turns into laughter, laugher into vigorous uncontrollable laughter. I resume rolling around, clutching my pillow so as not to make too much noise on the creaky floor. I cannot let the Grandparents think anything is wrong. But I have completely let go. Nothing can contain this exploding euphoria. I bite my pillow. I wanted to scream. When I couldn’t help it I shouted and talked into my duvet. My muscles felt so STRONG. I was so ALIVE.

I take another break, letting my thoughts take over from the music. A mix of deeply profound and negative thoughts wash over me. I felt the interconnectedness of existence mix with the dread that nothing matters, that death doesn’t even matter. Right from the machinery of atoms up to the aesthetic, artistic sublime. The workings of our consciousness, it all feeds into each other. It was like no matter what you do in life, how much you try, from good first impressions, to performing well, to a family member dying — anything — there is always nothing and everything, emptiness and the cosmos. It was almost like nothing matters, because EVERYTHING matters, or everything matters because NOTHING matters. I genuinely thought I was going crazy at some point, and I started having thoughts about psychedelic horror stories, where someone on huge amounts of acid might wonder outside into the middle of the road and get hit by a car. When your sense of reality dissolves so much that you just kill yourself, because your consciousness, your body, your identity is within everything anyway that it wouldn’t matter dying. I was scared and deeply moved by these thoughts, and wasn’t quite sure how to feel. This certainly was my experience of unity and interconnectedness.

I also began to wonder. I have taken a heroic cocktail of psychedelics and I have very likely changed my life forever, from my brain chemistry to my outlook. Writing this now, I don’t think anything is too different, but during those moments I was convinced. I remember saying ‘There’s no coming back from this. Holy Fuck. I’ll be a different person after this and there’s no going back’.

I figured that these thoughts about death and irreversible change better come to an end, and after what was probably 20 minutes I tune back into the music and resume my laughing-crying hysteria. When this is over again, It’s about 2h:50 TSD. I lie still and rest again. The come down has began. I don’t go back into a laughing fit again. I’m quite exhausted.

The fasting definitely made this trip short but extremely intense, as the peak was only about an 1h:30mins. I lie still, contorted but comfortable on my bed. I probably lay there for about 30 minutes. I’m certainly still tripping so think about how to use the remainder of it. I put on some conversational Chinese. I just lie there and listen for about an hour. In retrospect I should’ve watched a Chinese movie, as solely listening to an unfamiliar language hardly teaches you anything.

When the visuals start to fade and the come down sets in I feel quite dejected, unsure how to comprehend what just happened. I eat some crackers and salsa, but don’t feel that hungry for some reason. I finally leave the room and go to play the piano. I play for about 20 minutes with hardly any interest. I leave and sit in a chair, just thinking. Perhaps the low mood was the hunger, or the now relative lack of serotonin in my brain. I desparately need weed. I eventually get hold of some a couple of hours later after dinner. This brings me up. Then I sat down and wrote this.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 118101
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jan 7, 2025	Views: 15
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4-AcO-DMT (387), Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), Alone (16)