Surprisingly Calm and Relaxing
Methamphetamine & Sleep Deprivation
Citation: City Swimmer. "Surprisingly Calm and Relaxing: An Experience with Methamphetamine & Sleep Deprivation (exp118083)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2025. erowid.org/exp/118083
DOSE: |
oral | Methamphetamine | |
insufflated | Methamphetamine |
BODY WEIGHT: | 180 lb |
The restrictions included the following: I can't redose after a few hours since the first dose and will have to wait at least one week before getting high again. Swallowing and snorting are the only methods I allow for myself, due to the added addictive potential of smoking/shooting. I won't do meth while alone, because I'm still working on my willpower and maturity. Finally, I must sleep within 48 hours of being awake.
So I've had this wonderful boyfriend for a few months now, and our relationship is very strong. We're both serious about avoiding drug problems and have a hobby of exploring substances together, so we considered ourselves mature enough to handle meth. Of course, we're also quite young, so maybe we're just overly confident. He's done things like coke and MDMA before, and we've both done ketamine, shrooms, acid, weed, and more together. I believe I'm simply in an experimental and thrill-seeking phase of my life, having come out of a long depression, and my early 20s are the perfect time to go a little wild before I settle down.
My background with mental illness is a little concerning, and many of my friends scold me for messing with drugs because of it. I've had off-and-on psychosis for almost my entire life, including religious and persecutory delusions, voices and visuals, and manic/depressive moods. It's all been manageable however, and the only drug so far to have made it worse was LSD. I was worried that my fascination with meth and its culture would lead me to a terrible place mentally, but it seems I'm okay to experiment as long as it's not too big of a habit.
My boyfriend bought the meth, 1.3 grams of very beautiful shards from a dark web vendor. I convinced him to let me try it on a day when I got to come over to his house instead of our usual hotel shenanigans. His dad was gone for a couple of days. I had been awake for 22 hours before we started using.
I had been awake for 22 hours before we started using.
I had expected a lot of movement or hyperactivity, but instead I just felt incredibly satisfied and comfortable. We sat very still on the couch and talked for a while, both feeling this wonderful euphoric tingle and a sense that everything in life was okay and that we shouldn't worry. At certain points throughout the night and next morning, I felt sleepy while lying down, but every time I stood up I got another little rush. We were surprised with how calm and relaxing the drug was for being a stimulant. He said it was better than cocaine. We also did sort of a low dose, but it was such a great high that I'm not too interested in going too much further with the drug.
Neither of us felt any increased sex drive, but we felt a lack of shame or embarrassment around sex itself. It felt incredibly honest and pure. I'm usually a very shy person and cover up parts of my face and get embarrassed about angles, but on meth I had no shame whatsoever. I looked in the mirror and thought I was beautiful. We had kinkier and more experimental sex than normal, and I had a stronger interest in new ideas. We also had a beautiful moment of connection, sitting together on his bed and talking about life. It felt very relaxing and natural to talk to him, almost like talking to myself.
Throughout our activities, my thoughts started getting more scattered. I would occasionally forget things and end up getting lost in a sentence. My boyfriend didn't seem to have that effect. We both had an enhancement of colors in our vision, something we noticed while he was playing video games.
Early in the next morning, we were still up and I brought up my desire to do a couple more lines for the road when I had to go home. He agreed to that plan and went to sleep for a while after that. While he was asleep, I listened to music and paced around, waiting for him to be up. I got somewhat anxious, looking out the window for his dad to be home early. The sudden quiet disturbed me, and I noticed how my back was aching a little. When he woke up two and a half hours later, we had a little breakfast together. We were very good about eating and drinking the whole time.
We were very good about eating and drinking the whole time.
When the stimulating conversation returned, the paranoia was completely absent. He convinced me not to do those extra lines I'd mentioned, because he now saw it as breaking our redosing rule. I got embarrassed at not noticing that, but I came around and we decided to put the meth up till next time. He felt in good shape to drive that afternoon, and everything went smoothly. We ate some fast food on the way home. When I had been up for about forty hours, I noticed increased pareidolia and a warping, static-like effect on my vision. I got to sleep shortly after getting home and had normal sleep patterns and dreams. The only thing persisting has been the buzzing feeling in my hands.
Our plan is to get higher next time, to try to get properly "spun." We'll be at a hotel and have more time to do it. We'll bring things to fidget with and video games to play, and we might go on a walk at night if we're not too spooked. We'll stick to the same rules as before, but skipping the pill method. Just eyeballing lines and stopping after a couple hours. Our first time on meth was a very calm, mellow, and inspiring experience.
Exp Year: 2024 | ExpID: 118083 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: 20 | |
Published: Jan 9, 2025 | Views: 15 |
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Methamphetamine (37), Sleep Deprivation (140) : Glowing Experiences (4), Personal Preparation (45), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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