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Deepened Connection / Marriage
LSD & Novel Lysergamides
Citation:   Natron. "Deepened Connection / Marriage: An Experience with LSD & Novel Lysergamides (exp118024)". Erowid.org. Jan 7, 2025. erowid.org/exp/118024

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
125 - 150 ug oral LSD
  T+ 2:00 125 - 150 ug oral LSD
  T+ 6:00 125 - 150 ug oral LSD
BODY WEIGHT: 185 lb
For the last year +, my wife and I have been doing psychedelic research with various substances. Mushrooms initially then, for a while, MDMA exclusively. Then in the last 6-7 months, I methodically purchased, online, a bouquet of various (legal in my country) phenelalamines, tryptamines and Lysergide psychedelics (2C-B, Mephedrine, 6-APB Succinate, AMT, 4-AcO-MET Fumarate, 4-HO-MET Fumarate, 4-HO-MiPT Fumarate, 1D-LSD 150 mcg blotters, and most recently, 1V-LSD 225 mcg blotters.) Some we would try right away, some we haven’t tried yet.

A pervasive theme emerged: My wife seemed particularly sensitive to both the GI come up side effects and next day hangovers. (more so with tryptamines) So much so that she “wrote off” any further experimentation out of hand after only one use of most of the tryptamines. Subsequently, with those she did try more than once (phenelalamines or tryptamine) she would always pre-medicate with a PPI (proton pump inhibitor like Dexilant), the anti nauseant Odansetron and sometimes an anxiolytic, aprazolam which, combined, did much to mitigate come up side effects.

My main initial reason for this embarkation was the seeking of the benefits of increased neural plasticity and a higher level psychospiritual ease, reduction of baseline anxiety, and new directions unidentified. A precarious goal in a man with 22 years clean in NA married to a woman with 17 years clean also in NA. Our NA recovery has gone well meeting in 2003, marrying in 2007 and now having a 14 y old and 17 y old doing well in their early lives. Our pre-recovery drugs of choice were never psychedelics, nor were psychedelics a part of our drugs of choice when in active addiction. Nevertheless, this sort of experimentation has to remain a secret, never to be discussed among our recovery community or recovery friends
this sort of experimentation has to remain a secret, never to be discussed among our recovery community or recovery friends
for obvious reasons.

A more nebulous perhaps covert reason for my initiation of this research is improvement in our relational dynamics. My wife and I are very well suited. We have similar cultural background, beliefs, senses of humour, values, and goals. I’m a physician of 37 years at the writing of this. My personality is Open, Creative, and low in neuroticism. My wife is Industrious, more closed, and higher in neuroticism (anxious by nature). 23 years ago at age 40, and one year after a divorce, I met my wife. We have been diligent in our co-journey of raising our children, caring for our aging parents, saving for our retirement and paying off our house, (which I designed, built and, 3 years ago payed off). We are both in great physical shape. I continue to teach Judo at a high level 3 days per week and have been active in this marital art for 53 years. Our love life has been great throughout.

There was a quirky issue, though, that chronically irked me. In our love life, I was doing most of the initiating and signalling and my wife mostly followed. That was how it worked from the start. She totally enjoys our love life but nevertheless, could go 3 or even 4 weeks before mentioning or intimating her desire whereas I was always a 1-2 times per week please. We struck a great balance but at the end of the day, I was invariably the one laying down plans for an evening, causing me to chronically question myself in this role. “Was she just following my lead?” “Does she really desire sex much?” So my covert agenda of these psychedelic experimentations that I held somewhat secret was to see if there was a sexual side to my wife that was stilted or blunted that would be uncovered, or was this just who she is at her core? Would she open up and relax into a more sensual baseline from the changes wrought by one or more of these psychedelic experiences? She well guessed this agenda given how thoroughly she knows me but we didn’t speak of it openly.

She tried the mushrooms a few times and the GI side effects were overwhelming. MDMA also a few times, but as you are well aware, suppression of orgasm and erection is a strong side effect here for all who partake and with MDMA her next day hang over was always “epic”. 2C-B showed some nice effects for both of us but there was a dose-dependent threshold hard to define that, when crossed, led to a negative experience half way through and day after hangover that put that drug to bed as well. The same can be said for 4-HO-MiPT and HO-MET. The stimulants Mephedrene and 6-APB we tried briefly but their short duration of euphoria followed by significant insomnia and little else led to stilted evenings of disconnect and doubt (and these substances were too psychoactively close to the historical drugs of abuse in our past lives).

Then along came the Lysergides. I had never tried LSD and my wife only once in her teens. Together, we took 150 mcg of 1D-LSD one Friday evening at about 9:30PM. She did not enjoy the come up experiencing of tremulousness, overactive gut, heartburn and facial tension and a sense of body chills. I was not much bothered by these and lay still relaxing and waiting. However, at about the 2 hour mark, much of that settled and the open eye visuals, the giddy light spirit, and the synesthesia took over. She had an initial bath by herself and I could hear the peals of laughter from the bathroom. We began to laugh and laugh at the unreal or altered imagery in our house and bedroom. Around 11:00 we took another 150 mcg. We had a bath “or two” together. We looked into each other’s glittering eyes often bursting out in laughter. We listened to music. Sexual arousal grew strong by the third hour. And we began having sex by around midnight. This sex went on more or less continuously until 3 or 3:30. About 90 min into our initial sexual interaction, she was verbalizing all sorts of sexual fantasies to me. She spoke of seeing another woman in the room with us watching us. She spoke of having sex in public places with people watching. She spoke of trips to hedonistic all inclusive destinations and sex on beaches. She asked me what would I wish a second woman in our bed to look like. She began looking at pornography on her cell phone while we had sex. Pornography was historically right off the menu and never discussed. (Historically any pornography I looked at that she ever found out about meant a few days of silence and a “big talk”.) Somewhere in there we took a third 150 mcg. At 3:30 AM we went down to the kitchen and ate ice cream and other random things. All the while laughing at each other ourselves and the whole situation. Upon returning to the bedroom we resumed sex until about 5:00AM when I finally tapped out saying I had to try to sleep. We both did eventually fall asleep for a few hours. Upon awakening, at 9:00 we both felt giddy and still quite high.

I made tea and toast for the both of us. It wasn’t more than an hour awake and she had me back upstairs, this time on a sofa in the TV room again having sex for an hour or so. I was feeling something new. I was not able to keep going. I was unaccustomed to this performance inadequacy, but I felt I had very little left in me yet she was game to keep going.

Things slowly normalized by about 1:00 in the afternoon. We did chores and I watched some streaming Judo fights.

What has happened since then is rather profound. My wife has totally taken the lead initiating lovemaking. In the ensuing 3 or 4 weeks, we have had intercourse 4-5 times a week and she wants more. We did 1D-LSD again about a week later and much the same scenario ensued that night as the one above but we didn’t re-dose through the night. Her desire for intimacy seems no longer tied to the timing of the LSD and goes on unchanged even weeks after an LSD trip.

Weeks later, one Friday, unwisely, I pushed for a strong LSD trip with another analogue, 1V-LSD. I had wrongly assumed our tolerance was going to be high so we took about 350 mcg each as an initial dose.
I pushed for a strong LSD trip with another analogue, 1V-LSD. I had wrongly assumed our tolerance was going to be high so we took about 350 mcg each as an initial dose.
We both had a horrible experience sitting strongly in the side effects of facial tension and overactive guts for hours and hours and only slowly resolving from this, making none of the experience enjoyable. By the time the side effects were attenuating, it was late at night and we were both exhausted, wishing only for sleep. Unfortunately, this moved her opinion of all LSD analogues somewhat into the negative as a consequence. My bad for being pushy on such a high dose.

All that said, she remains a much changed woman in her openness and her libido. Often sending me pictures of herself in the middle of the day of a very suggestive nature. Sex remains on the menu pretty much every night should I acquiesce. I don’t fully understand what has happened. Was my wife changed by this experience or was her underlying subconscious nature suppressed all these years only to be released by this transformative experience?

The horns on my head always fit the holes in hers. But there was an audible “CLICK” as the fit went perfect recently. We speak to each other differently now. We (or at least I) feel I can say, disclose, and communicate with my wife in a 100% open honest way these last few months without fears of alienating my self from her and it is my impression she has the same sense herself toward me. She wants me to be close to her more and is not afraid of expressing that, whereas before, she held back often, sensing a perceived need I have to distract myself away from the relationship with other things in my life. We are less afraid of hurting each other’s feelings driven, I guess, by a deepened connection that mutually reassures us that we are completely bonded and in this together for the long haul with no insecurities about ever parting ways.

It hasn’t been too long now since all this began and an even shorter time since the LSD was tried so overarching assumptions and conclusions cannot be extrapolated. That said, I could not have ever conceived of a better outcome resulting from a long term couple's mutual decision to experiment with a psychedelic.

[Reported Dose Field: "125 mcg, 125mcg at 2hrs, 125 mcg at 6 hrs" -- this dose differs from dose mentioned in text above]

Exp Year: 2024ExpID: 118024
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 63
Published: Jan 7, 2025Views: 15
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LSD (2) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Relationships (44), Second Hand Report (42), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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