DOSE:

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

Umm its really hard to talk about these kinds of experience as most often you don't really have any frame of reference. I kind of need to get into a clear "meditative" headspace to even remember most of it. Also I personally try to not talk in terms of "woo" but its hard to describe things otherwise. I'll try my best to make some sense.

The trip started off like usual but it didn't take long to completely lose all sense of reality. I was in an eternally dark void for a while, it wasn't bad but nothing existed except my awareness, however unlike what happens usually, this awareness wasn't aware of itself. I couldn't perceive myself as anything (I didn't even try, that possibility didn't exist). Suddenly there in the middle of darkness there was a light and there were, for a lack of better word, "portals" to different realities. They kind of looked like clocks.

Most of the time I would close my eyes and just forget completely that my eyes are closed. I travelled so many worlds with their own laws of existence and felt like I've lived so many lives. Every time I opened my eyes I would remember that I am a human being who is a specific person who has taken a drug to trip and even then visuals would just be intense. It was very easy to forget that I was a human being who is tripping. On the come up I even completely forgot I was conscious and it was very easy to mistake my own existence as a verse in a song, a guitar solo or a shade of emotion . I was listening to Stairway to Heaven and only when Jimmy Page's solo ended I realized that I was a person listening to a song and not the sound of the guitar.

I had no idea what I was but it felt like I knew "how" they worked and "why" they existed. Note that the word "felt" is very important as there is no frame of reference at all to explain the validity of this experience. Even on an atomic level I could understand how the entire fabric of reality was constructed and I was just amazed thinking "ah so this is how this thing works, what's next?"

For the whole journey I kept mistaking myself for other things. For example after I "fell" into one of these worlds, I saw mountains of colors, rivers of grass and it felt like millions of years went by and I watched the planet/universe age from beginning to the end. I could experience everything going on in that reality and kept trying to find out what "I" was. At first I thought I was the blade of a grass, but then seeing that the blade was a part of the entire field I thought I was the field - but then seeing the field was a part of the planet I thought I was the planet - but then seeing as it's part of the universe I felt like I was the universe. However I saw the universe age and end resulting in non existence and which point I concluded that it must not be what I am because it ended.

At some point I concluded that I must be what is making these experiences happen - this was a mistake as I quickly learned just how out of control everything was.

This repeated itself many times, each time in a different version of reality, most of which seemed "incomplete" in a way. These worlds were infinitely complex but because of missing "pieces" they weren't the final version of reality. Every time I went on to another version I thought "ah, so this is what the other universe didn't have". The missing piece would most of the time be a specific law of physics, an incomplete loop or a lost memory (I know this sounds like "woo" but I have no other words to explain those feelings) I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't something that existed or that can exist, but I can only be the thing that "experiences existence".

Finally I was falling in the eternal blackness again and fell through the 2 hands of a clock "between 0 and 1" (I know real clocks don't have 0). All the other clocks around me were black and white and only the portal to our reality was colorful.

This was our reality, our universe and I saw how the universe was constructed, zoomed back into earth and saw the entire planet (again, no frame of reference to prove this is not an illusion so please take it with a grain of salt).

At this point some version of "I" was forming in my head but soon I got whipped out of this reality again but for the last time.

This time I was shown a world which was not ours. This with pink skies, oceans that were glowing, trees that sang and it was filled with just eternal love and happiness. I cannot describe how "complete" I felt in this world and it felt more like "home" than home can ever be. It was this perfect world that existed outside the concept of duality. In that world I gained a vague understanding of what was missing from our world (real reality, the one I saw before this).

Then I got booped back into our reality, into a mind and then into a body. I had this understanding that humans were perfect souls, sent into an imperfect reality so they can influence it and make it perfect. The missing thing that we have to offer to the world this time, was "love". This brought in me a sense of understanding of what humans were here to do. I understood that our brains are always envisioning a world where our soul wants to exist and so it is our purpose in life to create a world like that.

Overall it was really beautiful but due to the unpredictability of such high doses, I wouldn't recommend it to people that much.

Sorry I'm not sure how to word it properly - these kinds of experiences are very hard to remember, let alone word properly and tell others about.

[Erowid Note: Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 116621
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Nov 15, 2022	Views: 332
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)