Citation: BlueNightmareDose. "Ego Death: An Experience with Morning Glory, Blue Lotus & Mugwort (exp116425)". Erowid.org. Aug 8, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116425
First Time LSA & Ego Death
Honestly, I just had my first LSA trip last night, with varying degrees of results. Here's how I ended up with a trip that became too intense for me personally:
I had planned to trip starting earlier yesterday and had ground up about 350 MG seeds (Heavenly Blue, untreated) in a metal herb/weed grinder. I put the mixture in a bottle of orange mango body armor, halfway full of juice and let it sit. My mom called me out of the blue and invited me to a steak cookout at her house, so I had to delay my trip and took the bottle with me to dinner so I could shake it intermittently. During this time, I left the bottle in her fridge for the most part. I tried for a smaller portion of food but you know how parents can be lol, I ended up having a medium rare steak, macaroni, green beans, and a small amount of strawberry shortcake.
When I got home about 3 hours later, I packed a Raw tube with a blend of Egyptian lotus flower and Mugwort, with the intention of having it to chill me out with the sedative effects and allow a deeper sleep. When I was done, I put a 4x4 sterile gauze pad over the mouth of the bottle of MG juice, strained it out into a cup and drank it all down.
The onset effects kicked in about 30 minutes later and mostly consisted of a mild body high and a mild "wavy" (just how I described it in the moment) feeling. I listened to music, changed into some linen clothes and laid outside on the trampoline to look at the stars. I was out there for maybe 2 ½ hours and ground up another 100 seeds because the effects seemed to never peak other than having a really good body high. With these seeds, I was going to let them soak in a bottle of water I had with me but ended up just eating them all down and then drinking the water. I was feeling good but it was slight. Then I just kind of felt sober, like a switch flipped.
Once the sober feeling hit, I decided to go inside. I ended up just eating another 100 seeds and drinking a bottle of water. I also stepped outside and smoked my Lotus Flower/Mugwort mix. This kicked in the second round lol. I'm assuming the seeds I had eaten while outside kicked in and the effects of what I was smoking was also kind of trance inducing. I felt as if I was communing with the spirits and tried to keep a natural spiritual appreciation (not religious per se). I walked barefoot through the grass and soil in my yard and truly felt oneness. I started to go lay down on my couch and things got interesting.
When I came back inside my textured ceiling was moving with fractals and beautiful rhythm. I danced to some music and naturally felt amazing. Then the upset stomach hit and I had to use the bathroom immediately. I peaked while in there and the paint on the walls started to "melt" with the fractals and colors. Negative thoughts and questioning actions I know I hadn't done and wouldn't do, really dark shit and gory shit became almost overwhelming. My trauma from my past in the military came swarming in with other visions of my kids (they were at my dad's house spending the night) and wife
My trauma from my past in the military came swarming in with other visions of my kids (they were at my dad's house spending the night) and wife
were included. Insufferable ego death came into play.
I came back to my living room and tried to relax. The high continued to intensify into what I can only compare to the strongest tabs I've ever taken. I continued to go back to the bathroom about times through the experience with bouts of diarrhea. The third time the visuals escalated even more. I sipped water and took 50 mg of Phenergan to help with the nausea and hopefully help me come down and go to sleep to make things stop. I laid on my couch reminding myself that this was not real and tried to just remain strong throughout. Honestly, it took everything in me to fight it and at one point considered waking my wife up to have her take me to the emergency room. The stomach pains hit once again and I tried to hold strong but I couldn't wait anymore. I went to the bathroom and sat down. I started sweating and then vomited three times in to the bathtub. After I finished, I washed my face and rinsed my mouth. I cleaned up the tub and started to deep breathe.
As soon as the trip had overwhelmed me, it just as quickly faded away to the comedown at around 5 am. Huge sighs of relief and reassurance of my character were had and I laid down again to hopefully drift off to sleep, which came very soon. I swore I would never replicate that dose or method again.
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