Get the Erowid "Words" T-shirt
Contribute $50 and show support for accurate drug information!
Oblivion and Back
AMT
by Leprechaun
Citation:   Leprechaun. "Oblivion and Back: An Experience with AMT (exp11641)". Erowid.org. Feb 25, 2002. erowid.org/exp/11641

 
DOSE:
45 mg oral AMT (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 68 kg


It was a lovely day, he weather was nice and warm. It was deep in the forest, away from the normal life that surrounds me. Upon the evening of primal insight I meditated deeper in the forest from where the celebrations where had. During the meditation I found focus difficult to find, yet there seemed a subtle sense of peace creeping up on me. I felt tonight was the perfect night for a taste of the sacrament. The meditation brought centeredness and calm that continued through most of the night. The company was great and my mind was clear. Tonight there was a taste of the sacred in the air, though it did not feel as deep as my last such journey. There were to be six others to share this sacrament with me.

Everyone took their portion of the sacrament at different times.It was at 11:00 that I ingested and shortly after that a change was perceived. But before I should continue with story, I should reflect the reason for the sacrament. It was taken as a toast to the living, to the dead to the moments in life that stand out, to moments that go beyond time. It was night for the celebration of spirit.

Now on to the experience. Early in the night I had gotten separated from my girlfriend, with no plans to meet up. Little would I know how much I of a quest this mishap would lead me to. The change of perception is small and it maintained its hold on me for short time, I felt the world a little different with a child like anticapation building.

The change slowly intensified to the point where I became overwhelmed, the feeling reached such great intensity that nausea developed. I normally never get nausea but I have never partaken in such a large portion of the sacrament. I wanted to sit and relax, I had waves of sleepy feelings develop. I felt so sleepy and dreamy that at times I wanted to lay on the ground, crawl up into a ball and sleep. As yet there was no insight, nothing to think about, only a warm fuzzy feeling surrounding my being. Smiling took little effort, I found myself smiling unnaturally so, it actually felt hilarious to smile.

I found myself at our basecamp in the vehicle that had brought us here. The area from which the music originated could still be heard from basecamp quite clearly. I lay inside our vehicle and felt exceptional, if only there was no nausea! I felt I deserved this rest. Life at home had been hard, but progress was wonderful. This was my chance to just let go. Then the insight began.

My close friends A,E,J and I walked to the area where the dancing and celebration was happening. There was a sense of depth and power in the music. A sense that something wonderful was at hand. Then the drums stopped, a deep hymn rung out and peace enveloped me. I knew why the stars a looked up at so with so much fascination. When life great we stretch upwards, we reach out into the stars when heaven is before us. I understand why we are so amazed by the stars, why we believe that mother archetype exists above the clouds. We were created from them and will be buried amongst them. My friend A shared this moment with me, it was a moment unlike any other. Then the music rang out once more, things were a little different now! The music was felt deep within me, I expressed it with every element of my being. The power it held was beyond comprehension.

We danced for what seemed like days, even years. There was no longer a concept of time. It had faded away just as the rest of reality had.

We all decided to walk another area with different music being played. The drums here where powerful, loud and the hymns sung where uplifting and hopeful. A and I danced and screamed for a long time. It was only one single moment where I realised that sometimes it is to let go, experience oblivion for that one moment, where absolulty nothing matters, nothing is important other than that feeling being felt at that moment, that feeling of oblivion. I felt the moment reach into the hearts of all those around me. Then I laughed as I realised the implications of continuing that moment beyond its context. Imagine if nothing mattered to anyone...

I talked to many friends and had lots of fun. It was an inebrating time, a time that will be forever remembered. Like o' so many other times.

At one point of the night I felt myself being eaten by bugs. I relaxed into the experienced and found that after they had eaten away what they required. A crystal shone from what my waste covered. These creatures I had created in my mind had helped eat away the spiritual and emotional waste I carried.

The night wore on and the experience continued to be wonderful! Only in the morning I felt that my brain had been through too much.

It would be a long time for me to partake in this sacrament.

Added Note:

I partook in the sacrament one more time and found the experience to be dark, but in an insightful way. This sacrament has little insight to bring for me anymore. I thank it for its services. I hope others will learn from it, but remember, when it is time to move on, do so or the sacrament will punish you for disrespecting it.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 11641
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 25, 2002Views: 11,627
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
AMT (7) : Difficult Experiences (5), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission prior to your downloading the data.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults