Citation: Neopsy. "Reinforcing the Decision to Quit Drinking: An Experience with 1V-LSD (exp116272)". Erowid.org. May 8, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116272
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Background info, set and setting
Iím a 21-year-old psychology major. I have tripped several times with LSD, psilocybin mushrooms and DXM and a couple of times with MDMA, ketamine and amanita muscaria. Iíve also tried clonazepam, buprenorphine and pregabalin. Iíve been a heavy marijuana smoker in the past and have just quit drinking a week prior to the trip.
Iíve been a heavy marijuana smoker in the past and have just quit drinking a week prior to the trip.
As I came home from the campus at 4 pm on a Wednesday, I noticed my 10 tabs of 1V-LSD had just arrived in the mail. I decided to pop a single 150 mcg tab without any serious preparation. I was slightly stressed but in a decent mood. While waiting for the effects, I cleaned up my apartment a bit and started watching A nightmare on elm street.
T+0:30 I thought I was about an hour into the movie when I thought ďThis tab ainít doing shitÖ or is itĒ. To check whether the Valerie was working, I paused the movie to go the bathroom and saw that only 20 minutes had passed. Yep, I was beginning to trip for sure. I watched the movie till the end, enjoying the intense physical sensations and conceptual thoughts about the hidden meanings of the movie.
T+1:45 I headed off to the sauna. Remembering to take clean clothes, a towel, a water bottle and keys was a relatively difficult task. In the sauna I would think about how happy I was with my decision to kick my alcohol habit, how the people I have met at uni have helped with my mental health and self-image and how hormetic stressors were my best tool for fixing my life the last time I had a turning point like this. In order to do and not just think, I took cold showers in between my sessions in the sauna.
T+2:30 I was back at my apartment and decided to do some hyperoxygenative breathing in order to experience intense physical states and see some major visuals. The visuals were bright, colorful female deities fused with nature themed and geometrical influences. What was new compared to earlier trips was the vulgarity of the imagery. The breasts and and vaginas were the focal points in my visual field the whole time and I just couldnít move my eyes off them. I figured this overtly sexual thematic was due to stress, nofap, being single for a decent period and drinking too much for a duration of time. It was a clear sign to me that the decision to quit was the right thing to do in order to become focused on the right things in life.
T+3:15 after the breathing and some more introspection it was time to head outside. I went to a forest near my house, trying to breathe deep and focus on walking straight to keep myself as calm as possible. As I was on a beach next to the forest, I saw the sky was filled with stars like I hadnít seen before. I decided to find a private spot on the edge of the forest and lay on the ground, watching the stars and the trees. My body had been overheating slightly due to the serotonergic activity and going to the sauna, so laying on my back on the cold snow calmed my mind down in seconds
laying on my back on the cold snow calmed my mind down in seconds
. All the stars were separated in to three: one normal, one red copy and one green copy. This peculiar refraction of the light made the sky thrice as full and thrice as colorful. The tips of the branches of the trees also had this red and green neon theme. Thinking back as Iím writing this report, the female deities and most visuals on my LSD trips also had this theme of red and green.
T+3:45 As I was walking back to home, I remember the single thought that I get on every major trip: The two peak human experiences are to be as present as possible in nature and to be as present as possible with other human beings. This thought reminded me how important it is to keep the bottle down and to minimize stress and neurotic behaviors in life. Mindfulness is the single best tool to a happy and fulfilled life, something I have always known but havenít lived in a long time.
T+4:15 During the rest of the trip, I decided to just reflect on my recent life events and think about how Iím going to keep going in the future. One of the things that helped me make the decision to not drink was me opening up to a friend of mine about the issue for the first time ever. During the introspection, I didnít only realize the importance of it, but also the reason for internalizing my problems for my whole life. Besides fearing being judged, Iíve also always gotten unsuitable help for my problems. Feels like Iíve mostly been told what I should do and that has reduced my desire to act in a sensible manner, due to the need of autonomy. What my friend told me that stuck to me was ďThereís no doubt you can do itĒ. That struck me as the thing I needed to hear. It wasnít so much that I didnít know what to do, but instead feeling like no one else believes in me or wants me to succeed.
Another main theme I pondered was peopleís intentions towards me. Due to being bullied and having low self esteem as a kid, Iíve been a people pleaser my whole life. In university, I had tried to be this ďalways in a good mood and fun to be aroundĒ type of person. But the people in university had also made me slowly realize that Iím cared for regardless of who I am or how Iím feeling currently. I decided to also let go of the scheme that I had to be something in order to be cared for. After the introspection I ate a bit and stayed awake till 3 am. I was exhausted but happy the morning after.
Now a couple of days after the trip Iíve been getting a lot better and still being strongly focused on improving. Iíll probably revisit these themes in my upcoming trip reports. If things go as planned, Iíll be able to take a more general and philosophical standpoint instead of discussing personal issues. The language Iíll use will hopefully be more poetic and descriptive.
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