Sailing Solo
LSD
by BobbyKnob
Citation:   BobbyKnob. "Sailing Solo: An Experience with LSD (exp115993)". Erowid.org. Jan 18, 2022. erowid.org/exp/115993

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 hit sublingual LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 10:00   repeated vaporized Cannabis (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 175 lb


A few days ago, I had my first solo trip. I am a 20-year-old male in college, and I have had 3 previous trips in a group. It is nearing the end of the school semester, so I had some free time and wanted to trip before returning home for winter break. I live in the campus dorms, not an apartment or house, so originally the plan was to take a light dose (1/2 to 3/4 of a tab) with a friend here for his first trip; however, he was not in the right headspace leading up to the target date and didnít want to join anymore, so I decided I would instead trip on my own.

T-12:00:
The night before the trip, I made sure my setting was as ideal as possible. I vacuumed and dusted, shaved, and trimmed my fingernails. I bought myself some fruit snacks and a scone to have for breakfast. The following day was supposed to be moderately chilly, and I assumed I would want to go for a walk at some point, so I packed a bag with a hat, gloves, dry socks, a blanket, and some water. I told my roommate and a few trusted friends that I was intending to drop the following morning just so they were aware, and I tried to keep my mind calm despite my enormous excitement for the coming day.
I told my roommate and a few trusted friends that I was intending to drop the following morning just so they were aware, and I tried to keep my mind calm despite my enormous excitement for the coming day.
Finally, I measured out my dose - a single tab of tested, average-strength acid - and got to bed early so I would not be tired in the morning.

T-0:30:
The morning of my trip was accompanied by a moderate level of anxiety that hadnít been there in the previous days. Many people on the floor who knew me did not know that I was going to be tripping, and I was acutely aware that they could negatively impact my trip if I did not sufficiently avoid them. I also worried about the worst-case scenario of being discovered as intoxicated by an authority figure and facing repercussions because of it. However, I felt safe within my room and was not going to have any other drugs on my person throughout the day, so I was able to push past the anxiety and convince myself that I was indeed ready to trip alone. I used the bathroom, got some water, ate breakfast, and spent 15 minutes preparing myself mentally for the rest of the day.

T+0:00:
At approximately 9:45 AM, I placed the single tab of tasteless acid under my tongue and let it sit there for 15 minutes before swallowing it. I watched a YouTube video, then started playing Rocket League while waiting for the effects to kick in.

T+0:45:
At this point the trip was just beginning to start. The only visuals I saw so far were more defined edges around objects around the room and around each hair on my arm, as well as an extraordinary brightness throughout the room as indirect sunlight shone through a window. Mentally, I felt as if I had just smoked a small amount of cannabis: I felt high, happy, and simultaneously relaxed and energized. I told myself I would wait for the tab to completely kick in before going on a walk, so I put on some music and continued to play Rocket League. My response time had begun to deteriorate, so I was playing against bots rather than online. I was still not playing very well, but I was having a blast nonetheless and my mind began to wander.

T+1:00:
As the trip continued and I had more time to sit with my thoughts. I was overcome with a new sense of love and gratitude for everything: the music which had become utterly incredible to listen to; my past self, who had put in the effort to enable this experience; my future self, who I felt a stronger sense of custodial duty and optimism towards; my new friends who I had met in college; my old friends who I met in high school and missed dearly; my oldest friends, who I have known since third grade and still hang out with when I get the opportunity. I paused here. I hadnít seen these two friends for nearly a month at this point, as we all go to different colleges about an hour or twoís drive apart; I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I thought of them and how much I missed being with them. But I knew I would see them and the rest of my high school friends when winter break started in a few weeks, so I was able to calm myself down and resist the need to break down into tears in front of my roommate, who was still in the room at this time.

Around this time I also went to use the bathroom, which was quite the experience. I have a social anxiety condition called paruresis (aka shy bladder syndrome) which makes it difficult for me to urinate in public; I could feel my stool moving within me as I passed it, which I never noticed before; the light from the frosted glass window shone so bright I felt the need to squint; the speckled concrete floor beneath me began to move and contrast in the bulbous shape of a sprawling slime mold; and all the while I was still thinking about my friends and how much I missed them. Somehow I was able to juggle all of this and emerge from the bathroom victorious.

T+1:15:
After using the bathroom, I continued gaming at my computer and the trip continued to intensify. The hip-hop music I was listening to was saccharine, so much more beautiful and full of emotion and passion than I had experienced it before; if I closed my eyes I would have been consumed by the music entirely. My visual acuity increased to the point where I could see each pixel on my monitor, rather than the coherent shapes they were meant to represent. Other effects became more pronounced, such as the incredible feeling of a towel as I dried off my hands or the flowing nature of my deskís wood grain; the wood appeared flat with a boiling texture, almost like a rheoscopic fluid being stirred up (look up a demo video online if youíre curious). Not much else of note happened here, I just sat and enjoyed the headspace.

T+2:30:
After another hour of just sitting around I grew restless. At this point I felt I had about peaked, so I was ready to go take a walk around campus. I grabbed my bag, but on my winter jacket and boots, told my roommate where I was going, and snuck outside through a side entrance so as not to have to interact with people I knew from my floor (there is a common area near the main floor stairwell and elevators where people like to congregate). I didnít see anyone I knew on my way out, and by the time I made it outside I was home free. The air was dry and gusty, but a comfortable temperature for walking in just a sweatshirt once I got warmed up. I set out on my walk to a park about a mile and a half away which I had never been to but was near where my apartment for next year is.

T+3:15:
Soon the air was simultaneously too cold for my feet to be warm and too warm for my sweatshirt to be comfortable, the wind would gust into my face and blow my hair everywhere, and the sidewalks were often slick from freezing rain the night before. Nevertheless, I felt it was gorgeous outside and was happy to not be in my room. As I neared the park I became more tired, ready to find a bench to sit at and enjoy nature for a little while. Unfortunately, though, I neglected to keep my GPS running and ended up walking to the back side of the park where there is no entrance. I trekked about 45 minutes from my dorm through residential neighborhoods before finally giving up on the park and making my way back to my room. My back and legs were starting to hurt, and I didnít feel like adding a mile to my walk to see the park proper.

T+4:00:
An hour and a half after leaving for my walk, I finally arrived back at my dorm. I sat on a bench outside at the lakeís edge (my building is about 300 feet from the water) to catch my breath. An older English man came down past me, tailed by two springer spaniels. One of the dogs came up to me and sniffed me, and the man told me that he (the dog) was blind. I said hello to the dog and told the man to have a nice day as he called the dogs to another section of the waterfront. I got up and started towards my building, having cooled off and not wanting to interact with any more strangers.

As I was walking, though, I thought to myself: ďwait a minute, why am I avoiding strangers, anyways? I just had a normal enough interaction with that man where I donít think he knew anything was off about me. But even if he did know, so what? Why should I deny my authentic self to others?Ē This thought was a kind of ego loss that I was not expecting; my sense of self was fully intact, but my sense of caring how others perceived me largely evaporated
my sense of self was fully intact, but my sense of caring how others perceived me largely evaporated
. Rather than reenter the building through the side entrance I had used to exit, I went in the main entrance, waving to the floormates I saw as if nothing was going on. For the rest of the night, I felt liberated from feeling the need to act a certain way to please others. I had someone talk my ear off about the music that they were passionate about but I didnít ask or care about, and where I normally would have listened to them to be polite, I completely ignored the person and didnít even acknowledge that they were talking to me. Maybe that makes me a dick, but in that moment I felt no need to give them the time of day when I was disinterested in what they were saying.

I returned to my room to rest a little after my walk, and I made myself some hot chocolate and ate some snack food since I hadnít eaten since breakfast. I went and used the bathroom again, and I was once again caught thinking about my old friends. Quietly crying to myself in the stall, I sent them a text to say that I cared for and missed them both. I finished up with that, dried my eyes, and returned to my room.

T+5:00:
After resting from my walk for a little while, I got in the shower to clean off. Everything others have said about getting lost in the shower on acid is true; I was staring at the water drops forming on and dripping down the shower wall, feeling the warm water cascading down my body, for about 20 minutes. I also feel like a hot shower after a day out in the cold is the best feeling ever, so needless to say I was thoroughly enjoying my shower. Eventually I got out, dried off, and got dressed.

T+5:30:
By this point I had cleaned up and the effects of the acid had substantially diminished. The visual effects were reduced, the sunlight no longer threatened to burn my retinas with its brightness, and I was left with a part of the acid headspace and a mild headache. I took some Advil and, not wanting to sit alone and play games anymore, went out to the common area on the floor to talk with people. Eventually most of the people there dissipated, so I went back to my room and watched some TV.

T+8:30:
Eventually I went and got some chicken wings for dinner. My roommate went out to his girlfriendís place for the night, so I had the room to myself. I spent the rest of the night talking with friends on Discord and blowing cannabis dabs out the window, until finally I passed out at around 1:30 in the morning.

I donít think there is any way to know whether or not one is ready for a solo trip. I knew there were risks associated with solo tripping on my fourth trip ever, as well as with being out in public near my peak. However, I feel this experience was almost entirely positive for me because of my set and setting. Never did I regret having no trip sitter present, nor did I feel like I was out of control of my situation. I am grateful to have been able to have this experience, and I can see myself working my way up to higher doses in the coming months and years.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115993
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Jan 18, 2022Views: 1,614
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LSD (2) : Personal Preparation (45), General (1), Alone (16)

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